Browsing: Lifestyle

“I want to try growing tomatoes in my garden this year and would like some advice on how to be successful in doing so.”— Larry Zar, HighwoodAdvertisementThere are some basic practices to follow that will help ensure your success in growing tomatoes. Garden centers have lots of tomato plants for sale now, so it should be easy to find good quality plants. Determinate tomato varieties (meaning they have a determined, defined growing height) grow to 2 to 3 feet tall and generally do not require staking — thus are good for small spaces and containers. They tend to provide many ripe tomatoes earlier in the season, and at the same time, with less productivity in the latter part of the season. AdvertisementIndeterminate tomatoes will continue to grow big and need cages or stakes. They produce fruit all summer and into fall, when frost kills the plants. Fruit production slows as the days become shorter and colder in fall before a frost. There are some basic practices to follow that will help ensure your success in growing tomatoes. (RJ Carlson/Chicago Botanic Garden)Look for tomato plants that have dark green leaves and are short and stocky with strong stems. They should not have any flowers or fruit forming unless they are established plants growing in a large container. I prefer growing heirloom varieties because of the large number of different types. The plants dry out quickly at home, so be sure to watch them closely for water until you can plant them.It is very important to wait until temperatures stay consistently warm before planting tomatoes, as cold soil and air temperatures can set their growth back dramatically. Memorial Day weekend is generally a good time for planting tomatoes in the Chicago area, but use the weather as your guide, since timing can be earlier or later depending on spring weather. I saw tomatoes for sale at the end of April and wonder how these plants fared without the gardeners employing specialty growing techniques to offset the cold weather.Tomato plants need to be in a bed with full sun for best results, since light shade adversely affects the fruit production. I have successfully grown tomatoes in beds that were shaded in the morning with full sun in the afternoon. The soil should be well drained and amended with compost. Plant the tomatoes deep by burying most of the stem. Remove any of the lower leaves that will be underground after planting. The plants will form roots along the stem. Planting deeply also helps stabilize any transplants that happen to be taller and spindly. Provide plenty of space — at least 2 feet — for each plant to develop, as many tomatoes will get large. Install tomato cages shortly after planting to help protect the young plants and provide support for them.Consider rotating crops with those that are unrelated in order to break the life cycles of insects and diseases if you can. Peppers, eggplants, potatoes, and other plants in the Solanaceae family are related to tomatoes, so they should not be planted during the rotation years. This can be more difficult if you have a small space, so consider your crops carefully and experiment with different combinations.For more plant advice, contact the Plant Information Service at the Chicago Botanic Garden at plantinfo@chicagobotanic.org. Tim Johnson is senior director of horticulture at the Chicago Botanic Garden.

Dear Amy: I have two daughters and a son. All are adults. I am divorced from their father and am still single after 17 years since the divorce.My girls both remain in my life – the youngest especially. “Chloe” is always there for me.Advertisement“Nancy,” the eldest, is like a cat toward me – she only makes time and effort for me if it’s on her terms and she is in the right mood, which is not very often.My son, “Bradley” however, completely avoids me. He never answers his phone if I call. He doesn’t respond to contact from myself, his father, or his older sister, but he sometimes relates with Chloe.AdvertisementNow that I’m over 60 and have battled cancer, I’m feeling my mortality and starting to think about things like getting a will done.I’m a person of simple means so there won’t be much money left, but there will be a few thousand dollars in a 401K account and some life insurance money.My dilemma is: Should I leave Bradley completely out of the will?It seems the sad, sobering thing to do, but it would be based on how he has treated me.Since Nancy is lukewarm toward me, should I leave her one-third, and then two-thirds goes to Chloe, who has been the most loving and giving child?I suspect that if I do an even three-way split, the girls, especially Chloe, will feel resentful that their “deadbeat brother” got anything at all.What do you think?– ConflictedAdvertisementDear Conflicted: The daughter closest to you, “Chloe,” has already reaped the consequences and rewards of her behavior: she has a nice, positive, and active relationship with her mother. Your son “Bradley” has through his own choices been denied that.Estate planning can be a complicated business, because it inspires some people to essentially reward or punish after death, when neither you nor they can do anything further.Worrying about what others may think after you’ve died should be a non-starter.There is no “right” answer to this question, but in my opinion, you should leave an equal amount to all three children who came into the world loved equally by you.In addition to any funds, you can leave special material items to your favored daughter – or give them to her while you’re still around to enjoy the relationship.You could also notify her ahead of time of your intentions and your reasoning.AdvertisementTalk things through, but no matter what – you should make the choice that feels best, kindest, and most ethical to you.Dear Amy: My long-term friend decided to ghost me a few months after his wife went in for a “routine heart procedure” and tragically never woke up.He was devastated – as was everyone that knew her.I know he has alcohol and drug problems.The last thing he told me was that he was chasing a widow in town who “has a lot of money” and that he was done with me.I asked, “So this is the end of our friendship?” He never responded.AdvertisementMany years ago, he sent me a piece of artwork he made out of wood. There are many hours of work that went into this.I don’t want it in my house anymore. I thought about donating it to Goodwill here, but it’s kinda weird and I doubt if they’d want it.I thought to simply mail it back to him with no explanation, but is that cruel?I thought to just burn it in my fireplace, but that seems hateful.I am not actually angry with him, but I don’t want this piece, and I never really liked this odd thing very much.Do YOU want it?Advertisement– Wood BurnedDear Burned: You could try reaching out to this man – one more time – to see if he would like this piece returned to him. Keep your tone very neutral and tell him you are “downsizing.”Depending on his response, Goodwill would definitely want this item. I hope you choose to donate it.As someone who scours flea markets, second-hand stores, and Goodwill for home-made treasures, this piece actually sounds totally up my alley.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: I snorted my coffee when I read your (excellent) response to “Happy Teetotaler,” the young woman who felt pressured to drink when going out.My favorite of your snappy excuses: “I need to stay sober so I won’t slip in your vomit later.”Advertisement– Cleaning UpDear Cleaning: I do enjoy supplying some snap.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Dear Amy: I have this “thing” about needing to drive, no matter whose vehicle it is. I have to drive. Otherwise, I’m a nervous wreck.This began right after our daughter died in a car wreck in 2006. She was 19.AdvertisementI know this is a mental issue, but being aware of that doesn’t help.I feel like if I drive, everything and everyone will be OK because I’m a very safe driver. I also watch other cars like a hawk.AdvertisementMy husband hates this because I adhere to the speed limit, especially on the Interstate, where nobody drives the speed limit. He gripes the whole time.He knows why I do this, but it doesn’t stop him from being vocal about how much it annoys him – and that makes me even more nervous.I wish I could be the passenger so I could relax, enjoy the view or sleep. I cannot make myself relax; I’m so anxious and afraid.I would like to get over this. I want to be unafraid – the way I used to be.I’m tired of being afraid of everything. This manifests in other areas also.Is there a name for this? Could my ADHD have something to do with this?– The Cowardly LionessDear Lioness: I am aware of a designation that might apply to you: “CG,” or “Complicated Grief.”AdvertisementFor you, this manifests through your intrusive thoughts and the compulsive need to drive – otherwise you feel unbearably anxious.You can feel better – and you will feel better – with treatment. (And yes, in my amateur opinion, your ADHD is related to this.)The event that brought this on is so tragic. And of course you are reminded of this every time you get into a car.But your brain is working overtime trying to make the world safe, and your need to control some essentially uncontrollable aspects of your life must be exhausting for you (and yes, frustrating for others).Knowing that your experience is caused by “a mental issue” is good, but in this case awareness is only the first step. I hope you will seek out a grief counselor or grief group to talk to about your loss. This is one step toward healing.Your family doctor should also refer you to a psychiatrist or trauma specialist, who could help to set you on a healthier path through talk therapy, holistic coping techniques, and medication.AdvertisementDear Amy: My sister and her husband are in a bad place. I love them both. They have been together for over 20 years and have three young children. They were high school sweethearts.I have known my brother-in-law since I was 12. He’s like a brother to me and it hurts to see them both hurting.Basically they are in this vicious cycle where she ignores him and ices him out because she is so angry. He drinks all the time and will say mean things to her, and not remember later.He drinks because he feels unloved and disregarded. He recently made a comment to my husband about taking his own life.I want to help them both, whether or not they choose to stay together.Can I talk to them both individually without overstepping?AdvertisementCan I ask my sister to give him one more chance if he stops drinking, and to be more open to him?She will not do therapy, which I think would benefit them both. He has been to therapy, but only randomly. I want to help them, but I’m unsure how.– A Broken-hearted SisterDear Sister: You are obviously very fond of this couple and are deeply invested in trying to help them.None of your efforts will likely yield results, however, because this is their dysfunction and until one or both of them decides to change, they will continue in this cycle.Yes, I think you should express your love and concern to each of them. Urge them to get help.AdvertisementYou would benefit from attending a “friends and family” support program such as Al-anon. If your sister will attend meetings with you, all the better.Dear Amy: “Swim Parent” was carting a teenage neighbor back and forth to swim practice, with no help from her parents.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.My parents were like that girl’s. They said that if I wanted to be in gymnastics, I had to find my own transportation. They never helped.Thank God for other parents.– Grateful GymnastDear Grateful: Other kids’ parents have saved many childhoods.AdvertisementGot a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

The frozen meals that AYO Foods creates and markets sit next to P.F. Chang’s food in Target’s freezer section.But AYO Foods founders, Perteet and Fred Spencer, would prefer their fare be next to Amy’s Kitchen, the organic packaged and prepared foods giant.Advertisement“If you look at our caloric intake, our protein content, our fiber content, it’s very comfortable, if not better than some of the other kind of ‘better for you’ frozen items out there,” Perteet Spencer said. “And I can guarantee you it’s going to be much more flavorful.”AdvertisementThe Spencers launched AYO Foods, an array of West African frozen meals and hot sauces, in July 2020. In two years, they’ve expanded into stores nationwide, including Chicagoland Mariano’s, Heinen’s, and The Fresh Market stores.Frozen options range from jollof rice to cassava leaf stew, egusi seed soup just begging for some doughy fufu to sop up all the rich flavors, and chicken yassa, a popular dish of slow-braised chicken thighs with lemon and caramelized onion.The couple partnered with “Top Chef” alumnus Eric Adjepong and chef Zoe Adjonyoh — cookbook author and founder of Zoe’s Ghana Kitchen, to promote West African cuisine through the brand. As the daughter of a Liberian immigrant, Perteet Spencer said she believes everyone deserves to see themselves when they walk down the grocery aisle. “We’re talking about an entire continent not represented in grocery stores,” Perteet Spencer said with an incredulous tone. “It’s not a monolith; we’re talking about 17 different countries (in West Africa). Every tribe, every country, they all have their unique way of doing things.”The regional cuisines share similar ingredients, and “it’s just the process of cooking — the different seasoning and flavors that you use — that separates them,” her husband said.Homemade egusi stew, made of egusi seeds, iru, chicken, onions and collard greens. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)Before making fresh egusi stew with egusi seeds, chicken, onions and collards, Perteet makes her way to an African market on Foster Avenue and North Broadway to gather dried crawfish and shrimp powder, seeds, and iru, also known as locust beans. Now, a version of the same dish with such hard-to-find ingredients is available at dozens of stores across the country.“We’re really excited to take people on this journey through West Africa to allow them to experience the flavors and ingredients,” she said. “The common mark that unites the food are these really slow-cooked, layered flavors … that’s pretty consistent with everything, whether it’s the dough rising on the puff puff, or the stew simmering on the cassava leaf.”AdvertisementFred Spencer likens the AYO Foods process to cooking soul food, with big pots, layered flavors and hearty, traditional fare. But finding ways to retain the depth and quality of those slow-cooked dishes on a mass production scale took serious effort, Perteet Spencer said. At one point, she brought in her mother so manufacturers could shadow her preparation in order to do it properly and not rush the process.“We have lots of horror stories early in our journey of partners that didn’t work out because they wanted to speed up the process,” she said. “If you have a pot of greens, the best ones are those that cook low and slow. We needed to honor that process as we found partners to scale this up.”The result are ingredient lists that are familiar and alluring: roasted garlic puree made of simply garlic, extra virgin olive oil, and thyme accents the chicken yassa; just five ingredients comprise the fried puff puff bread.“We’re using fresh vegetables, we’re doing that slow-cooking process. We’re not cutting corners,” she said. “It was really important for us to honor the process and not short change it as we went through our journey. It’s just how we operate.”Fred Spencer and his wife Perteet Spencer started the food company called AYO Foods, which focuses on West African cuisine. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)That operation began three years ago, when the Spencers, DePaul University college sweethearts, noticed market trends changing.Advertisement“We saw this huge rise in global flavors, a massive gap in flavors of the continent in total,” she said. So she left her corporate job as a brand manager with General Mills to bring joy to the world — ayo means “joy” in Yoruba — full-time, with Fred’s urging and support.While she takes credit for introducing her husband to Liberian food, she said she learned how to cook from her father. He immigrated from Lofa County, the northernmost portion of Liberia, to the Twin Cities in Minnesota at age 17, bringing with him cooking that reminded him of home. Her parents would eventually meet in Minnesota.Perteet and Fred’s large families serve as inspiration to the food brand, but it’s the pair’s love of food that is the nexus of AYO Foods. Fred, a real estate developer, opened a restaurant when he was 24 years old (something he said the couple might get back to someday). With a grandmother from Alabama, the Roseland native recalls cooking as a childhood chore, because he would get all the tedious food prep duties. But that’s changed since he’s gotten older.The family affair that cooking has always been is now one the youngest Spencers are picking up. Perteet and Fred’s daughters, 11 and 8 years old, like the kitchen so much, sometimes they have to be pushed out of the space. Their oldest tries to get her biscuits as flaky as her father’s, and she’s currently working on perfecting her macaroons, said Perteet Spencer.“They love being involved in the kitchen with us,” she said. “I didn’t start cooking until college, and to see them start so young, it’s exciting to see. You can’t have family together without a ton of really incredible food.”The first AYO Foods dishes were those the couple personally love — jollof rice, egusi soup and cassava leaf stew. The couple prides themselves on AYO Foods being rich in nutrients and low in sodium. Advertisement“Obesity is at an all-time high, diabetes is at an all-time high, hypertension is at an all-time high. We couldn’t in good conscience put out a product that was a contributor to all of that,” Perteet said. “I think one of the things that AYO does really beautifully is prove that food can be good and tasty, but still be good for you. We wanted to really be able to set a model for that.”Fred Spencer eats freshly made Egusi stew at home on May 19, 2022. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)The plan for the brand is to expand beyond frozen foods to bring greater inclusivity and diversity to shelves. AYO Foods already has pepper and shito sauces — the former is habanero-based, the latter has a seafood base, complemented by hot peppers, tomatoes and caramelized onions.“We started with frozen primarily because it’s the easiest transition to have authentic ingredients — not adding preservatives or anything like that — to bring the true essence of the food,” Fred Spencer said. “But we want to make this a broad brand, as opposed to just frozen.”The self-described “big dreamers” know the platform AYO Foods allows has a lot of wingspan to make an impact above and beyond celebrating the culture through packaged foods. The Moonboi Project is the Spencers philanthropic effort born from that platform — one that enriches the West African culture. In December, AYO Foods partnered with Girl Power Africa, a nonprofit committed to empowering women and children impacted by civil war and ebola in Liberia through entrepreneurship. AYO is supporting the cultivation of 15 acres of Liberian farmland, the Spencers said.“Part of what we’re doing with these dishes is bringing awareness to these crops, to this food, which we hope in turn creates increased demand and economic change in West Africa,” Perteet said. “Already we’ve built three homes, fully cleared the land, (and) we’re starting to see the first crop yield. And the yield of that is actually being used to give back to women who were victims of either ebola or the Liberian civil war as seed capital to start businesses of their own.”AdvertisementSeeing the impact the food brand is providing in such a short time has the Spencers excited about the potential of AYO Foods to not only change the lives of their immediate families, but other communities in desperate need of help, as well.“If anything can get across from any of this is that, AYO was created as a family company,” Fred Spencer said. “We’re doing this as a family together, and that’s what’s going to make it successful.”drockett@chicagotribune.com

Dear Amy: In 2020, my nephew, “TJ,” graduated from high school.My husband and I are especially close to him. Due to COVID there was no graduation party for him.AdvertisementDuring lockdown, I sent TJ a card and enclosed money.Later, I sent a personal, heartfelt letter to TJ, wanting him to know how much I enjoyed seeing him grow, recounting memories we shared, giving him unsolicited advice about college (that he could take or leave), etc.AdvertisementTJ called to thank me for the gift and the letter.Months later my sister-in-law “Teri” mentioned to me that she was in TJ’s room and a letter was open on his nightstand. She said she saw it was from me and read it.She said she thought it was so nice and that it made her cry.I was speechless!The issue for me is I feel the letter was private between TJ and myself.I was raised in a household where we never opened mail that was not addressed to us because the contents of any mail was considered the private information of the recipient.Now, two years later, TJ’s brother is graduating from high school and I had planned to write a similar letter for him, but now I feel constrained on how much of my personal feelings I want to put into the letter.Truth be told, the joy of doing another letter is gone for me since I know it may be read by others.AdvertisementI want to get your thoughts on whether I am overreacting.– Upset AuntDear Upset: Yes, you are overreacting. By a mile-and-a-half.When people receive letters and cards of congratulation to mark a happy occasion, they often leave the cards and letters out and share the content of these with family members (unless the recipient is explicitly asked not to).According to your account, this letter was lying open in your nephew’s room. It was not sealed, and your sister-in-law did not “open” it. She merely read it, as I maintain just about anyone would do. (You obviously wouldn’t, but I believe that most people would.)My overall point is that when a letter leaves the writer’s heart, mind, pen and home – it becomes the physical property of the person who receives it, and that person can leave it lying out for others to see, put it into a scrapbook, post a photo of it on social media, sell it at an auction, or throw it away.AdvertisementIt is best to enter a correspondence assuming that others may see what you write, and to choose your words carefully.Your sister-in-law was moved by the contents of this letter to the point of tears. She was thoughtful enough to tell you so, and your response is to consider denying your other nephew this gift of your time and wisdom.This seems an extremely unkind reaction.If you choose to write to your younger nephew, you should ask him to keep the contents of your letter private.Dear Amy: I am beginning to think that I’m in violation of some unwritten social code with respect to gift giving.After a very acrimonious divorce, we experienced the typical “siding off” of our mutual acquaintances.AdvertisementThis is understandable, as divorce puts friends in awkward positions.Anyway, I have continued to send gifts as children of “our” friends marry, despite not being an invited guest.These gifts are not being acknowledged.I’m trying to figure out if I just hit a streak of ungrateful young people or if my giving is so grossly out of place that it is just being ignored. Any guidance is really appreciated.– Bewildered GiverDear Bewildered: All gifts should be acknowledged, even if the gift bewilders the recipient.AdvertisementYou do not need to receive a wedding invitation in order to send a gift, but if you have never met the couple – or haven’t seen the marrying person in many years – you might want to switch your generosity to a warmly-worded card.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: I appreciated your response to “Torn,” the older man who wanted to announce his long-ago sexually exploitive relationship with his sister-in-law at the woman’s funeral.Yes, I agree that what happened to him when he was a teenager was abusive. And yes, I also agree that a funeral is NOT the time to disclose it.– FanDear Fan: My heart fairly broke for this man, who had been struggling with the impact of this abusive sexual relationship. I hope he gets help.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.AdvertisementSign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

From interior design to sociology to three jobs at education nonprofits, Danielle Tubbs’ journey to baking took a bit of a circuitous path. The Miami transplant, now an East Garfield Park resident, is trying to make her passion for baking boldly flavored, Jamaican-inspired vegan, nut and soy-free cookies into a household name. Tubbs filed for an LLC and bought a domain name eight years ago for Tubby’s Taste Vegan Cookies. Since then, her work has been featured on ”Good Morning America,” ABC 7, WGN and NBC 5.Living blocks from the business incubator The Hatchery Chicago, Tubbs has been taking food classes at the site since 2015 and producing cookies that meld mango, coconut and lime; grapefruit, pineapple and hibiscus; and coconut, oatmeal and cinnamon from the site since September 2020. It was with plans to bring on more help and machinery that she applied to be a member of the sixth cohort of the Allies for Community Business’ Neighborhood Entrepreneurship Lab in 2021.AdvertisementDeveloped in partnership with the Chicago Community Trust, NEL gives entrepreneurs a $20,000 grant and pairs them with advisers to provide assistance and networking opportunities. The lab experience is the idea of Robert Crawford Jr., created to build entrepreneurialism, strengthen neighborhoods and increase employment. Since 2016, the lab has aided 60 small businesses across the city.Danielle Tubbs of Tubby’s Taste Vegan Cookies, at the Allies for Community Business’ Neighborhood Entrepreneurship Lab celebration at The Hatchery in Chicago’s East Garfield Park neighborhood on May 26, 2022. Tubbs was one of the award recipients at the event, receiving a grant worth $20,000 to grow her business. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)“I believe in capitalism so strongly … the way it’s been a cornerstone of the American experience, the small farmer, everything,” he said about why he created the endeavor with the Chicago Community Trust. “I felt very strongly that where we’ve missed as a country is we haven’t encouraged enough people that hadn’t come from more affluent backgrounds, particularly people who are Black, brown, Native Americans. I just felt strongly that would strengthen the community so strongly.”AdvertisementWith his late father’s business acumen as inspiration, he went to the trust’s former president and CEO, Terry Mazany, to work together to support entrepreneurialism in disadvantaged communities that need their services. A test with one entrepreneur has turned into a nine-month program where over two dozen small business owners are assigned mentors to help entrepreneurs strategize on how to grow the business with the grant money they received. Specialists in finance, technology, advertising and human resources also come to speak to cohort members.“The $20,000 allowed me to put money toward getting into stores, which has proven challenging with the COVID climate right now,” Tubbs said. “I had goals of getting into 10 boutique grocery stores and a lot of them weren’t really bringing on new products.”The pandemic. Supply chain disruptions. Inflation. Lack of staff. Small businesses have endured real challenges as of late. And as of January 2022, the number of open small businesses decreased by 10.4% compared with January 2020, according to an Economic Opportunity Insights Tracker, which tracks the economic effect of COVID-19. Couple that with a 2019 market study that shows significant disparities in the number of businesses along racial, ethnic, gender and geographic lines, and Crawford says that’s why the lab is needed. When individuals and neighborhoods find themselves locked out of access to resources and opportunities, the lab is one avenue of support.Crawford says Chicago has to get small business numbers up and help those shuttered small businesses start up again.“Entrepreneurialism is the soul of American business,” he said. “These are the people that become leaders of the community.”Kia Smith, right, of South Chicago Dance Theatre, talks with Bob Crawford at the Allies for Community Business’ Neighborhood Entrepreneurship Lab celebration at The Hatchery on May 26, 2022. Smith’s repertory company was one of the small businesses honored at the event. Crawford’s collaboration with the Chicago Community Trust resulted in the creation of the Neighborhood Entrepreneurship Lab. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)Crawford spoke at a cohort graduation ceremony at The Hatchery on May 26. Tubbs was among the 25 graduates, as was Jacques Sarr, proprietor of Jacques International Language Academy in Rogers Park. Where Tubbs has been refining her wholesale practices, drumming up more awareness of the business, selling online and figuring out how to work with distributors, Sarr has been focusing on creating multiple, affordable language academy locations locally and internationally. A former freelance translator who knows nine languages, Sarr runs academies offering 16 languages to students of all ages.“When I opened it in 2017, I wanted to make languages accessible for everybody. Not just those who can afford the luxury,” Sarr said. “My main goal — I want people with low income and their children to have access to languages.”He will be opening a Paris academy this summer. Sarr said he couldn’t open the location without the NEL grant funds. “It’s common to go to more than one location to learn a language,” Sarr said. “I wanted to be different, go to one place and learn many languages.”AdvertisementKarl Herbert Grabbi, Waleed Khan and Jacques Sarr attend Sarr’s French advanced conversation session on June 1, 2022, in Chicago. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)Tubbs talked strategy with her mentor and adviser every other week. Her mentor sold his own bakery and offered specific advice. As a team of one, Tubbs said it helped to have others to bounce ideas off of, to share with. They offered insights and provided accountability, and the grant money provided wiggle room for Tubbs to take more chances — all things Tubbs welcomed.“There’s so much need in these communities for these services, and there’s a lot of business opportunities,” Crawford said. “In these communities that have been hollowed out … a store leaves and there’s an opportunity for somebody to get in there and provide some service. There’s need, and there’s also tremendous entrepreneurial spirit.”Next year, NEL will expand its program to include five more entrepreneurs, Crawford said. Roughly 75 applications were submitted for the sixth cohort, which only had 25 openings. Applications for the seventh cohort are double that already. The new cohort will begin in September.“Most of the companies have been in business two, three years,” Crawford said. “We’re in the process of perfecting this, but every single one (business) that we’ve invested in, they’re all still in business.”drockett@chicagotribune.com

Dear Amy: I’m from a small family (I have one brother), and while growing up, my two cousins (my aunt’s sons) were like brothers to me – we always spent vacations, holidays, and family celebrations together.Fast-forward 30 years and we aren’t as close as we used to be – for various reasons.AdvertisementI relocated to the West Coast and my family is in the Midwest.I see my parents and my brother often, but I haven’t seen my cousins since the pandemic began because we have differing opinions on vaccinations and social-distancing (I believe in both; they don’t).AdvertisementOur daughter is engaged, deeply in love, and very happy in an interracial relationship.My spouse and I are quite fond of our future son-in-law and his family.My dilemma is this: Both of my cousins have expressed racist views and used racial slurs in the past.I do not trust that they will be supportive of our daughter’s marriage. I’m not comfortable with them attending her wedding.Should I call them directly and address the issues outright? Should I quietly not invite them? Honestly, I love my cousins, but I don’t like them or their world views, and I don’t know what to do.– Stressed in the WestDear Stressed: If you aren’t comfortable being in proximity to these men for health or cultural reasons, then – follow your instincts.But I’m leaning in favor of considering an invite for these two bozos, or at least opening it up for discussion – because if your daughter and her fiancé are hosting a family wedding, well, families are made up of all sorts of people, and sometimes these people are jerks, losers, and racists.AdvertisementThere are many variables to ponder here, however, including how awful your cousins really are, and how tolerant the bride, groom, and his family are willing or able to be.Fortunately for you, this decision should be made by the marrying couple, so you can kick this in their direction.I suggest that you be completely honest with them: “Bert and Ernie are … the worst. They are racist fools. But they are my cousins. There – you have it.”Your daughter and her fiancé may not have any interest in or feel any obligation toward these family members, and if so – the decision is an easy one.If the cousins don’t make the list and you are asked why, you can tell them the truth: “Your racist views knocked you off of the invite list.”Dear Amy: I have been best friends with “Penny” for over 60 years. Last year we had an argument over the phone regarding COVID vaccines.AdvertisementIn addition to the risk factor of her age, she has health issues, but is an adamant anti-vaxxer.I was concerned for her health and told her that she was wrong not to get vaccinated.Since that moment, we haven’t texted or spoken.I feel sad about not contacting her, but notice that she hasn’t reached out to me, either.I think she has written me off. Her birthday is approaching.Do I send a card?Advertisement– Ex-bestieDear Ex: Your argument with “Penny” seemed focused on how receiving a vaccine would be in her best interest.Even though you framed your point of view as concern about her, people don’t like being told that their own health decisions are “wrong.”Putting aside the idea that vaccines can have a communal impact; when it comes to her own health, Penny’s choice is her own to make.You seem to be against the idea of reconciling – and on the fence about being in touch at all – but I don’t really see a downside to reaching out.If you’re truly done with this relationship, then you should let this milestone day pass without reaching out. But surely, even though you two had an argument, aren’t you on some level happy to see that this fellow human being (who according to you has health problems) has reached another birthday?AdvertisementDear Amy: “Torn” described a long-ago sexual relationship with his sister-in-law, which started when he was 15.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.I almost never agree with you because you obviously hate men, and so I have to admit that I was shocked and surprised at your compassionate response to Torn.Yes, he was sexually exploited by an older woman. This was wrong, he is suffering, and you were right to recognize it.– One of the Men You HateDear One: I’ll take the backhanded compliment, and thank you for it.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.AdvertisementSign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

When America’s first national park Yellowstone was established in 1872, 2 million acres were set aside “for the benefit

Dear Amy: I have been divorced for two years. I frequently see my two young daughters, and remain on decent terms with my ex.Several friends, dating back to my college years, have chosen to “side” with my ex-wife.AdvertisementThere was no side to take, as I believe our divorce was our business and not theirs. Some have simply said nothing, and others have intimated that they are surprised by our marriage failure and do not want to be around the person (me, allegedly) who caused the failure – which of course is a classic “he said, she said.”But I recognize that they are free to choose.AdvertisementIn an angry moment, I unfollowed all of these people on social media, but now I miss keeping up with their families and lives, even through a screen.I’ve considered writing each of them an email or letter as a “mea culpa,” wishing them well and asking that we reconnect.Is that the best course of action, or should I let sleeping dogs lie?I’m in a new healthy relationship, but I long for friends from the past, who seemed to jump ship at an uncomfortable moment for them, but one when I needed them most.– Missing FriendsDear Missing Friends: These people are all thoroughly out of your life at this point, and because of that, there is no downside to you reaching out.Either they accept your bid and let you in, or they continue to respect their “unfriended” status.I do detect a certain tone in your query, however. Based on your description, it sounds as if you left the household and your wife is now the primary parent raising the children.AdvertisementGiven those details, plus the fact that you abruptly broke off contact with all of these people, you are behaving like a protagonist who is now reckoning with the consequences of the choices he has made.Yes, divorce is awful, especially when there are children involved.Friends do choose sides, and while that seems cowardly, they often choose to identify with the parent who has the kids and the house, especially if they also have children and there is a strong social history between the families.Your obvious frustration and defensive posture won’t help your case.Your mea culpa might include: “This has been the toughest period of my life. The dust seems to have settled and we are in a pretty good place. I’m working on my own issues, and making progress. I find that I really miss seeing updates about your life. We share such a long and rich history. I’m hoping to reconnect, at least through social media.”Dear Amy: My nephew is going to graduate from high school this month and I have NOT been invited to either the graduation or an open house they are having.AdvertisementI have saved up a considerable amount of money to give to him, but am now wondering if I should even send it.I never get thank you’s from him (or his parents, for that matter) for any gifts I send for birthdays and holidays.Now I’m thinking that I would rather use the money on expenses I have, but I know this will sever a very thread-bare relationship I have with my brother.What do you think?My brother already knows the amount I have saved, so if I send less, he will probably call me out on it.– Frustrated AuntAdvertisementDear Frustrated: If your brother knows the amount you have saved up for his son and he isn’t even bothering to include you in any of their graduation celebrations, then I’d say that this family is not at all eager to receive any gift from you.I think you should siphon off a very modest amount from your savings, slip it into a card for your nephew, and consider this matter absolutely closed.If this money from you is the thread your relationship has been dangling on, then I think you should snip it off.You are officially off the hook forever.Enjoy your liberation. I hope you treat yourself to something nice.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: “Swim Parent” is being pressured to transport a neighbor’s daughter to and from swim practice, with no help from the neighbors.AdvertisementI agree that this isn’t right, but this parent is modeling respect and kindness to these girls. They’ll both remember it.– Been ThereDear Been There: I agree. Respect and kindness: Harder to master than the butterfly stroke.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Dear Amy: I’m a 48-year-old woman. I’ve been told I look about 35 to 37.I take very good care of myself and dress in a youthful style.AdvertisementA while back, I met a man on a dating website who is 37.We both weren’t looking for anything serious. We live near one another.AdvertisementWe had a nice dinner, got along great and he gave me a long hug when we parted.However, once I revealed my age, he told me he is not into dating older women. Since then, we hang out twice a week, cuddling on the couch, making out and even ended up having sex.He also says my name when we’re sexual, implying our connection, which I believe is a strong one.He is very physically affectionate when we’re together. He texts me every morning when he wakes up and texts me throughout the day.We both go on dates with other people, but we both feel like it never goes anywhere because we don’t click with others.The problem is, he treats me like a girlfriend – but I’m not. Am I just being used?Is he just getting everything without the commitment?I’m not mad at him because we both agreed to be “friends with benefits,” but I thought it would be with less emotion or physical interaction on his part.AdvertisementHe went through a bad divorce a year ago and is scared to make the same mistake.I believe that deep down he wants to be with me, but is scared to admit it to me or to himself.What do you think I should do?– FWBDear FWB: You wonder if this man is using you, but … are you using him?Based on your description, couldn’t one interpretation be that you are using him as a boy-toy, while you continue to seek other men?AdvertisementUnless you two are brave enough to talk about things, you’ll be left to interpret his internal motivations.Assigning deep motivations behind behavior is how people fool themselves and relieve their partners of any responsibility to communicate. Some examples: “Deep down he wants to be with me.” “He’s scared to love me because of his bad breakup.”If you have a question about your relationship, ask him. If you have fallen for him, you should tell him.If he says, “I don’t see older women,” then this will tell you either that he can’t count, that he is basically lying to himself (because he is seeing you, you are older, and you are a woman), or – most likely – that he is happy to sleep with you but will never take you home to meet the folks.Ongoing relationships are the result of spark plus timing. If you have the spark but the timing is off (because of the age difference, or his recent breakup), then there is not much you can do about it.If you are able to enjoy this “friends with benefits” relationship, exactly as it is, then – keep going. Otherwise, keep moving.AdvertisementDear Amy: Because I contribute to several charities, I receive tons (and I mean tons) of blank note cards, birthday cards, etc.These cards are quite beautiful and I’d hate to just recycle them.Can you think of any organization that would want these cards? I am at my wits’ end. (I spent hours yesterday and today sorting them into categories, matching envelopes, etc.)– Carded OutDear Carded: Start with your local library. If they sponsor a book sale (as mine does), they can accept these pristine cards and sell them to support literacy programs in your area. Also check with local assisted living and nursing homes.Otherwise, St. Jude’s Ranch is a national charity that will accept your cards. Check stjudesranch.org and search for “recycled card program” to learn the parameters of their program and how to donate.AdvertisementI think it is also important for you to contact the charities sending these to you and ask that they stop. This is expensive and wasteful.Dear Amy: “Heartbroken Mom” wrote to you about her daughter and the daughter’s fiancé. Both of them sounded like dysfunctional “users” who expected financial support from her parents.Heartbroken reported that her other children were pressuring her to financially support their sister, otherwise she would “lose her.”Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Thank you for standing up against this kind of blackmail.If the siblings feel so strongly, perhaps they should financially support their sister.– GratefulAdvertisementDear Grateful: I wish I’d added that idea to my answer. Thank you.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.