Browsing: Lifestyle

It is vital that you and your mother receive respite care and support while dealing with your father’s illness. You should try to develop a small network through local friends and family, members of your faith community, volunteers, and paid caregivers.

The three of us were communicating on a group text, but on the second day of the trip she said, “Oh, Rob just texted me,” but when I looked at my phone, I didn’t see a text, so I asked him why he sent a text to her alone, instead of using the group text.

Another big reason to be concerned about ailanthus is a looming insect threat. Tree of heaven is the favored host for spotted lanternfly, a voracious sap-sucking Asian insect already found in Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia and West Virginia.

So, I’d have to toss this back to you, suggesting that you might frame your longings less as “complaints” posed to your wife, and more as your sincere yearning to continue to be with her in an intimate and private adult relationship, while transitioning to what can be an extremely fulfilling role as parents and partners – together.

The female locates and stings a large insect such as a cicada or katydid and then brings it back to the burrow. She places the insect into a chamber and lays an egg on it; sometimes she puts two in a burrow but lays an egg on only one. She then covers the burrow, digs another, and repeats the process.

However, friends are a little different. Your friends should know your preferences and try to include you, so if you feel like every single hangout is centered around alcohol, you should politely bring it up and suggest you change it up a few times. You shouldn’t be the one always compromising your comfort and preferences for the sake of the group — friendships are about give-and-take, and about being around people who you share values with.

Dear Casey: Like you, I too am always on the hunt for comfortable, not-too-flat flats. NOT the kind that you can feel every pebble in the pavement through the skimpy soles — Kellie & Katie from DSW for instance. Not the ones that chew up your heels or the top of your toes after a few hours of walking (Rothy’s, rothys.com). Or, Chuck Taylors that offer no support (even though they’re pretty cute). I buy my Chucks 1/2 size bigger to accommodate my Pure Stride Full Length Orthotics (amazon.com, $24.55). My best bet these days are the Home Run ballet flats from Aerosoles (aerosoles.com, $89 reduced to $49) though almost all my flats require gel heel liners (amazon.com and drugstores, Dr. Scholl’s $6.99). Readers, help Casey (and me) find frugal, walk-all-day flats that are cute and comfy! What are your faves?

However, when it comes to having children and family formation, timing is actually a primary motivation for most of us. When we’re in our early 20s, we tell ourselves, “I’m not ready.” Later on, we do feel ready, and whether that is the “tick tock biological clock” talking, the weight of our other relationships and experiences, or because you’ve met “The One,” the drive to have children before it’s “too late” (however we interpret that) is very real.

Dear Amy: I have been married for over 30 years. At our 25th anniversary dinner, my wife told me she was interested in trying an “open marriage.” I was shocked, thinking that we still had a strong desire for each other. Later, at a counseling session, when asked if she was physically attracted to me, she said flippantly, “Not now, never was.”

Today, she has supportive friends, both asexual and allosexual, and a wide range of interests and hobbies. She takes archery lessons, writes fiction, runs an ace book group that draws readers from as far away as Fort Wayne and Madison, and co-leads a National Novel Writing Month initiative in the western suburbs.