Browsing: Lifestyle
I know we gave our dog a wonderful life and did everything we could for him, and I know so many other people have also experienced this loss, but I’m still swimming in grief and in so much pain that I haven’t given much attention to my relationship with my husband or nurtured him during this time (though I manage to be functional with work and other activities).
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She mentioned volleyball tryouts, where I made the team, and she didn’t. Then she moved on to the subject of boys, where one guy she liked started talking to me and never talked to her again. (Also, student elections, which we both plan on running for next year.)
Please, bring this up to your daughter. Don’t overwhelm her with your complicated emotional reaction, but ask her, “Hey, if I can find a nice photo of the two of us from your childhood — and let you pick out the frame — would you be willing to find some space on your wall for it?”
And so – ask about it! You can respond to a bid for contact by saying, “I’m completely baffled. Six years ago, I received a letter, signed by you, that spelled out in detail all of my flaws. It also said that your family despises me. I completely accept that. If something has changed, you should let me know.”
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You should talk about it! Say, “I’ve always thought our conversations were pretty benign. I never judge anyone you’ve told me about, and honestly think we’re all pretty boring. But does it really bother you, or were you just blowing off steam?”
My husband and I drew up a list of things that we expected from her: Getting a job, taking care of her bedroom and bathroom, learning to drive and to use public transportation, no male overnight guests, house sit when we take short trips — things like that.
This aunt’s Christmas Eve tradition is long-standing, and because your sons choose to attend it, I think you should accept that – for them – this is an important aspect of their Christmas celebration. And so, you should let them have it, and instead of hosting a competing event – you and your wife should scale back your own Christmas Eve and consider the way you celebrate it (with her sons) to be … what you do. Develop your own intimate traditions with the smaller group.
The obvious solution – at least to me – is for you to bring a (male or female) friend as your date, with the expressed intent that this person should serve as your wing-person. Their role would be to ward off random singletons, and if necessary, to use a serving platter from the buffet table as a shield to protect you from nosey aunties.