Browsing: Lifestyle

Dear Amy: My husband, kids, and I live in a different state than most of my family.We are planning a trip to my family’s state and would like to invite my parents and grandmothers to rent a cabin for a few nights.AdvertisementI don’t see my grandmothers often as they are not well enough to travel too far.I want to be able to enjoy a wonderful and relaxing trip with them as I am worried about the amount of time I have left to spend with them.AdvertisementI want to create happy memories with them, my parents, and children together. My grandmothers get along great and often spend time together. They are both widowed, but one of them remarried about a year ago.Amy, this man is rude and pretentious and makes everyone uncomfortable.We all keep our feelings to ourselves and are respectful when we have been around him, but my parents and my other grandmother are not a fan of this man.I worry spending a whole weekend with him would be too much for everyone.His presence would likely turn this relaxing time with my family into a weekend revolving around his lectures, narcissistic antics, and drama.Is it selfish of me to only want to spend this precious time with those that bring happiness? Would it be wrong of me to only invite my grandmother and not her condescending new spouse?How might I extend this exclusive invite? Or is there a polite and discreet way to ask he not make this trip a disagreeable one?– Happy Memories OnlyAdvertisementDear Happy: Your grandmother chose to marry, and when she did, the man she married entered your family. For better and – it seems – for worse: he is there.It is not selfish of you to want “only happiness,” but no family can be guaranteed only happy experiences or happy memories. Every family must deal with the challenges presented by their reality.I suggest that you issue this invitation to everyone, and then do your best to manage this disruptive new family member during your weekend together.If you establish a baseline willingness to stand up to him: (“Excuse me, ‘Steve,’ but I’d love to hear what my grandmother thinks …”) you might have a better time.Dear Amy: Our daughter’s overseas wedding was first scheduled two summers ago. Family from both sides (mostly) don’t live there, so with the borders closed, the ceremony was postponed — twice.Now the wedding is on — for this July. We are now seeing that a number of guests who RSVP’d that they were coming the first two times now say they cannot make it. We will miss seeing them.AdvertisementSo here is the question: Since we already have the lovely venue paid for a specific number of guests, is it tacky to invite those who “didn’t make the first guest list” originally to join us now?If it is not tacky, how might we even phrase that?– Wondering About WeddingDear Wondering: When it comes to “tacky,” I take a stance that’s probably more Dolly Parton than Emily Post.I say, be authentic, be polite, and – if you’re backed into a corner – be truthful!Issue your invitations. You might call this event: Third Time’s the Charm.AdvertisementI don’t think it’s necessary to make any reference to previous plans when you invite people.If prospective guests inquire: “Hey, I thought you didn’t have room for me…!” say, “The pandemic really messed with our plans and some close family members can’t make it overseas this summer, so if you are able to join us on relatively short notice, we’d love it!”Dear Amy: “Concerned Sister” was trying to prompt her aging sister to make some plans for her future.Thank you for highlighting the need for families to discuss end-of-life issues with one another.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.My mother descended into the ravages of dementia before we had ever discussed these things. In the years I spent caring for her, I often wished I knew what her wishes were. It would have made everything so much easier for me and for other family members who were trying to provide the best care for her.We were very much in the dark, and I still have regrets about that tough period.Advertisement– With RegretsDear Regrets: The situation you describe is what journalist Ellen Goodman was struggling with through her own mother’s illness and death, inspiring her to start The Conversation Project (http://theconversationproject.org/), which provides helpful prompts to get families talking.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

It was around this time in 2021 when then-president Angelique Power was stepping down from the Field Foundation of Illinois. The Chicago native was in the role for five years, centering the foundation’s funding structure on racial equity. During her tenure, the Field Foundation was credited with distributing more than $4.5 million annually in grants in the areas of art, justice, leadership investment, and media and storytelling across Chicagoland.As of June 20, Daniel Ash will take up the mantle as the new president of the Field Foundation. Ash, a Youngstown, Ohio, native, is leaving his role as associate vice president of community impact at the Chicago Community Trust to do so. The Field Foundation’s board of directors announced the appointment after an extensive nationwide search.AdvertisementWith more than nine years building strategy aiming to advance equitable neighborhoods within underinvested communities through grant-making to community organizing, storytelling and resident-driven initiatives, Ashe said while he will miss the immediacy of working with colleagues at the trust daily, but he is looking forward to continued collaboration with them in the grantmaking and philanthropy world.Daniel Ash, the new president of the Field Foundation of Illinois, on May 12, 2022. (Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune)“From the seat of the Field Foundation, I’m going to be working with them with locked arms because it takes organizations and many others in the local community — corporate philanthropy, private philanthropy, family philanthropy, and partnerships with community leaders and political leaders — to work on these very audacious issues that we can challenge together,” Ash said. “I’m just working on a different front, but we’re working on the same battlefield, if you will.”AdvertisementAsh’s resume includes stints at Chicago Public Media, where he oversaw marketing and strategic partnerships and leadership positions at the Sargent Shriver National Center on Poverty Law, the Chicago Department of Public Health and the Center for Family Policy and Practice. Ash is leaving just as Chicago Community Trust’s first female CEO, Dr. Helene Gayle, is exiting to serve as president of Spelman College in Atlanta. Ash said he will be helping the Trust find his successor.“We’re really working hard to make sure that people understand that the Trust is OK and the organization’s commitment to the strategy (of closing the racial inequity wealth gap) is still there at the board level and will continue,” Ash said.Ash laughs and says his propensity to say hi to everyone on the street has served him well during his career. He said it’s helped him build relationships and networks at the Trust. He said he’s looking forward to bringing his deep connection with Chicago’s Black and Latinx communities to the new opportunity at the Field Foundation of Illinois.“The Field Foundation has this amazing, rich history of being a foundation that stood up for the values and principles that I’ve always aligned with,” Ash said. “Under Angelique Power’s leadership, this board made a commitment to the social justice movement, applying a racial equity lens before it was fashionable to do so. That work, the work that Angelique led endures, it’s in the DNA of the Foundation. I like the fact that the foundation is one that uses historically, its voice, its convening power to impact how we see specific challenges in our local community. And I like the fact that the foundation, as a private foundation, (has) always been very unequivocal about its commitment. ”Ash said the Field Foundation is more than grantmaking, it’s the civic power associated with the foundation to interrogate challenges, ask good questions, bring people together to solve them, and respond to those questions. All of it made him apply for the president position at the foundation. Ash sees his transition to the new role as another opportunity to be in service to the communities that he loves.“My hope is that people will see that I use my position — social, financial, knowledge capital, everything I have to bring to the table to build and fortify the infrastructure that we need to advance the movement toward justice,” Ash said. “What I mean by that is, the work for me is more than just the work that’s right in front of you. There are programs that need to be funded, there are leaders that need to be developed. All of that work combines to create a foundation that is built on the foundation that others laid for us to continue the journey toward (something) more racially equitable for the community. And that’s what I love about this opportunity.”“Daniel’s breadth of experience and the respect he has earned through his work made him the ideal choice to become the next President of the Field Foundation,” said Field Foundation Board Chair Gloria Castillo in a statement. Castillo co-led the search with Board Member Lyle Logan. “Daniel deeply understands the work the Field Foundation is prioritizing because he has been doing similar work for years, and we are confident that his vision aligns with the Foundation’s goals.”“I see the opportunity to have a leadership role at The Field Foundation as a civic responsibility,” Ash added. “I think private foundations have to demand that the community that we’re trying to impact, hold us accountable. ’m asking the community to connect with me, share with me, and share with us at the Field Foundation because ultimately if they’re not benefiting from the work that we’re doing, then we’re not doing the work right.”Advertisementdrockett@chicagotribune.com

Dear Amy: I’m asking you to weigh in.My husband thinks that it’s fair game to read my computer or phone screen over my shoulder, even when I’m clearly writing or viewing something private.AdvertisementI’ve asked him many times over the years not to do this, but he refuses to stop reading my screens. He definitely doesn’t like it when I do it to him.He is saying it’s OK because my activity is essentially out in the open.AdvertisementIs it rude to read someone’s screens over their shoulder? Should I leave the room if I want privacy on my own devices?– InvadedDear Invaded: Overall, I think it’s rude to continue to do something – almost anything — your spouse has asked you repeatedly not to do, especially if this behavior is not a two-way street.Your husband may be aggressively trying to send you a message that he doesn’t want you to use screens when you are around him.If you take a close and objective look at your own screen usage and see that there is a genuine imbalance in the amount of time you and he spend on your screens, then this gives you an opportunity to perhaps change your own behavior to demonstrate that you have received his rudely delivered message.Otherwise, yes – whenever he does this, you should take your work into another room.I have seen so-called privacy filters for laptops, although I’ve never tried one (no one in my household has much interest in what I’m up to). These screens allegedly completely block a screen from view unless the user is directly in front of the screen. This would also be very useful when working in a coffee shop or on public transportation – or in your kitchen.Dear Amy: My niece from my husband’s side of the family has recently had a baby.AdvertisementShe has been seeing a counselor, due to the fact that the father of her child left her for another woman before the baby was born.Her counselor has told her to do small things for herself like grab a coffee and write in a journal. However, she has not been taking care of her finances very well.She still asks her mother for money each month, but she is getting her nails done, she recently got a tattoo, and she is charging things on credit cards that she obviously can’t afford.We have given her advice on her finances, but she is still not putting forth the effort to get her bills under control.What can we do at this point?– Concerned AuntAdvertisementDear Concerned: Your niece seems to have misunderstood the concept of “self-care.” But she doesn’t have to get her finances under control, because her mother is subsidizing and enabling her overspending. If her mother continues to do this, and the spending is truly out of control, your niece could sink her mother’s finances, as well as her own.Many an enabling parent has protected their overspending offspring from the consequences of diving into heavy debt — until the debt swallows other family members.When young parents are raising children on their own, the grandparents often feel compelled to help with expenses out of concern for the grandchildren. This is laudable, but grandparents who do this must be extremely careful not to do too much, thereby impeding the progress into maturity that all young parents need to make.What you can do is to encourage the mother to be extremely careful with these financial bailouts. The young mom might be using her spending to try to self-medicate her sadness away; unfortunately, this will make things worse for her.Dear Amy: I appreciate the question in your column from “Concerned Sister” about discussing end of life wishes with loved ones.I am a doctor in the DC area.AdvertisementAsk AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Two resources that might be helpful are “Five Wishes”, a guided booklet that helps people talk about what they want at the end of their life. This is available in English and Spanish and can be obtained for free from most primary care doctors’ offices.The second is The Conversation Project. Available at https://theconversationproject.org, it has many helpful tips and can help direct the discussion and try to overcome what is usually a fear of death.– Laura Quint, MDDear Laura: Thank you. The Conversation Project was founded by journalist Ellen Goodman, after her own mother’s death. It serves as an excellent guide to having these tough conversations. Thank you for the recommendations.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Advertisement©2021 Amy Dickinson.

It’s a long walk back to the time of the dinosaurs.Down past the sauropod skeletons, their necks snaking along a mural of an ancient plain, feathery foliage bursting from the wall, just as it did eons ago.AdvertisementDown past the frothy ferns sprouting from the wall, a misty herd of giant creatures wandering in the distance.Every step you take into the interactive Dinosphere exhibit at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis is met with thundering footsteps of dinosaurs, felt and heard but unseen. The ground shakes under their weight, just as it did way back when.AdvertisementThe museum’s own staff paleontologists dug up quite a collection in Wyoming and carted it back to their headquarters in Indianapolis, where they brushed, cast and assembled the remnants into genuine skeletons and fleshed-out models.Staff paleontologists traveled to Wyoming for a dinosaur dig that led to the expansion of Dinosphere exhibit at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis. (The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis)The expanded Dinosphere, which debuted in 2004, reopened in March, a celebration of the extinct giants that have achieved immortality in the imaginations of millions of children.Under the dome of a vivid Cretaceous sky, dinosaurs big and small fight and eat, soar and snore. Bite marks on dinosaur leg bones show how they fought. Fossilized impressions of foliage indicate the types of plants that provided shade and food to lumbering triceratops.You can’t beat a dinosaur for the killer combination of science and education, and you can’t beat the Indianapolis exhibit for elevating dinosaurs — if that’s even possible — to the next level in the preschool paleontology pantheon.The oldest, largest and in many ways, most innovative children’s museum in the world, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis (childrensmuseum.org) blends the best of traditional museum research with enlightened design that welcomes kids of all abilities. Founded in 1925, it has led the philosophy and application of hands-on learning ever since. With 13 major exhibit spaces that range from a tiny village, to a 7-acre outdoor sports park, the museum is a childhood must-see for families in the Midwest and beyond.Even before reaching the dinos, visitors can cling to a rose-painted Victorian carousel horse as it glides up and down, around and around; slide into an Indy 500 race car; or buckle into a slice of airplane and wing their way to Greece.So many scenes for the dinosaurs to steal.Down in the Dinosphere, an occasional screech overhead warns of danger in the skies. Light shifts, dappling the canopy of palms that circles a dino panorama. Kindergartners poke their heads into gargantuan masks and see the world as a triceratops might. Adults might walk right by the knee-high tunnel that beckons kids to crawl into the center of the exhibit and pop up, prairie dog-style, into a plastic bubble. From there, they can see the action from all angles — and enjoy a perspective denied to adults.AdvertisementA massive sauropod skeleton is part of the newly expanded Dinosphere exhibit at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis. (The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis)In a nearby alcove, kids can excavate for bones at a simulated dig site. A slice of simulated fossil-studded hillside serves two purposes: it shows the depth at which dinosaur bones are buried and enables children to scrape artifacts from the pretend hillside, just like real scientists do.The dino lab occupies an entire wall. Sliding glass windows open to invite visitors to quiz the paleontologists as they work, gently unwrapping plaster casts from long-broken bones.The most-often asked question? Visitors wonder if the fossils are actually real, said Jenn Anné, lead paleontologist. “People must think we get them from the dinosaur Ikea,” she jokes while narrating the lab’s operations for a recent group.Visitors who crave a slightly more sedate experience can head upstairs to the dinosaur art lab, a favorite of staff science educator Becky Wolfe.“You can rub the texture of a dinosaur’s skin,” she said, demonstrating by running a crayon over a piece of vinyl cast in a reptilian texture. Take that colored-in dinosaur outline and scan it into the art lab’s animation machine and your very own dinosaur will pop onto the wall-sized screen and chase other visitors’ hand-decorated dinosaurs through a fantastical Jurassic landscape.Children can design their own dinosaurs as part of the expanded interactive Dinosphere exhibit opened this spring at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis. (The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis)AdvertisementChildren ages 3 to 8 often are obsessed with dinosaurs because, well, they’re the opposite of kids’ daily experience, said Clio Stearns, assistant professor of education at the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts in North Adams, Massachusetts.“Dinosaurs are all about the battle and the fight,” said Stearns, herself the mother of two school-aged children, one engrossed by dinosaurs and the other, not. “Kids are trying to come to terms with what it’s like to be big and powerful. They’re little and they usually lose their power struggles. But if they’re a T. rex, he’ll win every battle.”The kind of detail that scrolls through the Dinosphere is oxygen to kids who yearn to be masters of a universe — any universe, she explained.“You can memorize encyclopedic amounts of knowledge about dinosaurs and being an expert is really, really fun,” Stearns said, reeling off a list of candidates for second place in the arena of trivia mastery. “Outer space, animals — there’s a handful of topics where you see kids practicing accumulating massive amounts of knowledge, organizing it, and showing off.The new Dinosphere exhibit opened this spring at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis, following the museum paleontologists’ expedition in Wyoming. (The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis)“Dinosaurs are really handy for that,” she said. “Little kids love to be experts; there’s very little under their control. It’s something kids can amaze us with, and they love that, and we should honor that.”AdvertisementDinsophere delivers on it all: The tongue-twisting scientific names, the cool tools, and most importantly, the ability to enter, if just for a moment, the center of dinosaur world, where no adults could fit (even if they were welcome).The Indianapolis Children’s Museum is best taken in half-day visits, given its size and in-depth exhibits. Tickets are $21-$28 for children over 2 years old, and $26-$34 for adults, and you can save up to 25% by buying tickets in advance. The on-site cafe serves plenty of kid favorites along with the full complement of caffeinated drinks to help parents keep up.Review the museum’s website (childrensmuseum.org) in advance, to identify your must-see exhibits and to prioritize the rest. Be sure to bring a generous spending allowance for the capacious gift shop, which features hard-to-find gear — especially for dinosaur devotees — like play-size trail vehicles equipped with dinosaurs in cages.Indianapolis is rich with destinations for families. Build a long weekend around the Children’s Museum with a day walking through history at Conner Prairie, and an arts walk at the parks and museum campus west of the central business district.Conner Prairie (connerprairie.org), a half-hour drive north of downtown in suburban Fishers, takes you back in time for a whole day. Pet goats and sheep at the barn that’s part of the William Conner House, the historical dwelling of a white settler in the area. Costumed interpreters demonstrate how the Indigenous American Lenape tribe made the most of central Indiana’s rich natural resources.Then explore Prairie Town, where costumed interpreters go about their daily weaving, shopkeeping, woodworking and blacksmithing, and continue on to a re-creation of a 1863 Civil War skirmish. If weather permits, you can even board the basket of a replica 1859 sightseeing balloon and rise above it all.AdvertisementThe White River State Park defines the western border of downtown Indianapolis. On or adjacent to its campus are the Indianapolis Zoo (indianapoliszoo.com), the Indiana State Museum (indianamuseum.org), and the gem that is the Eiteljorg Museum (eiteljorg.org), which showcases art, sculptures and artifacts of the American West, both confirming and puncturing popular perceptions of the region and era.If you stay downtown, be sure to walk to the Sailors and Soldiers Monument, a circular plaza at the intersection of Market and Meridian streets. Its soaring pillar capped with a statue is a classic Midwest landmark. Plus, it’s fun to walk up the many steps to the base of the monument.Plenty of casual restaurants dot downtown Indy. A good option for families who like variety is the Indianapolis City Market (indycm.com), four blocks east of the Sailors and Soldiers Monument.Major hotel chains are represented throughout downtown Indianapolis, including midpriced and higher-end brands such as Omni, Marriott and Hilton. The Children’s Museum is about a 10-minute drive north of the central business district and the sites at the White River State Park a quarter-mile hike.Joanne Cleaver is a freelance writer.

Dear Amy: I am a 32-year-old woman with a 6-year-old son.I am in a relationship with “Larry,” who is 48. He is not my child’s father.AdvertisementBefore meeting Larry, I lived alone and raised my son by myself.After losing my job, my son and I moved in with my folks. We were financially dependent on them. Over the course of a year I looked for work, but couldn’t find a decent-paying job that conformed with my son’s school hours.AdvertisementI felt I became a burden to my parents financially. They scrambled to get my son from school while I was at work.During that time, I was dating Larry and decided to move in with him.I knew it was a mistake fairly quickly. We just aren’t compatible.I feel like I’ve become stuck.Now I’m working at a good job, and I know I can afford to be on my own. I hate to seem selfish and leave, but I’m not happy.I don’t blame Larry. I know I have personal issues to work on, but I know being on my own would be best for me and my child.The only thing is that I would need my family to help with some childcare (my child’s father isn’t around). At times it seems my family gets tired of helping out.I know that if I stay with Larry, he will help with my son’s school drop-off and pickup, and with other miscellaneous things.AdvertisementDo I leave Larry, suck it up, and ask for my family’s help again, or should I stay in this relationship?I’m really torn. I just want to do what’s best for my son.– Confused in TexasDear Confused: Your question illustrates how childcare lies at the heart of concerns for all single parents.You mention two things about “Larry”: His age, and his ability to help with your son. He likely deserves to have a partner who genuinely wants to be with him.I can’t speak for your parents, but I do believe that most parents, given the option, would rather provide some childcare for their grandson than have their daughter dependent on her much-older partner to do it.AdvertisementYou should check with your son’s school and enroll him in after-school care, if at all possible. This sort of lower-cost program has been a Godsend for hard-working parents.Talk with your parents very frankly about your needs. You should do everything possible to lessen any imposition on them.I can speak for all parents here: We want for our children to demonstrate that they are moving forward. A good job, decent housing, stable schooling for your son: these are all signs that you are making progress. Keep going.Dear Amy: When I was a teenager, I self-harmed and as a result have visible marks on one of my arms. These are left over from that time when I deliberately cut myself.I often forget that these scars are there, and most people don’t say anything about them, except for children.On several occasions, young kids have asked me what’s on my arm (the skin is raised and looks odd).AdvertisementOver the years I have alternated between outright lies (I had an accident!), saying it’s personal, or evading/changing the subject.It just makes me feel so awkward. Is there a better way to handle this?– LDear L: I’m so glad you are healing from that very tough time in your life.I say – own your scars. They are tangible evidence of your growth and survival.You can tell a child, truthfully, “Those are scars. That’s what your body does when it heals over a cut. The skin comes together and sometimes it leaves a mark. And those marks are there because I hurt myself when I was younger, but now it doesn’t hurt at all.”AdvertisementIf a child probes further, you can say, “Well, that’s sort of personal, and I don’t really want to talk about it, but I’m just glad I’m not hurt anymore.”Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: Your response to “Snacked” bordered on insulting. Because a grandfather was giving his grandchild cookies, you suggested he might steer the child “…toward less benign choices.” Like what? No car seat, foul language, drugs!Most of us grandparents are able to make the distinction between cookies, and much more dangerous choices. How dare you! Your contemptuous, suspicious tone toward this Grandpa was obvious and offensive.– UpsetDear Upset: I was exaggerating for effect. Unfortunately, it seems to have worked.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.AdvertisementSign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Writer and photographer Jessica Mlinaric wants Chicagoans back on the streets.The last time we heard from her, it was 2018 and she was revealing tidbits of Chicago information, like where one can sunbathe on a Lake Michigan shipwreck and where one could ride in one of Chicago’s only manually operated elevators — all details found in her book “Secret Chicago: A Guide to the Weird, Wonderful, and Obscure.”AdvertisementThe Wicker Park resident and urbnexplorer.com blogger has a second book coming out Sunday, “Chicago Scavenger: The Ultimate Search for Chicago’s Hidden Treasures,” — one that seeks to help readers explore the city and unlock the hidden gems in its neighborhoods.Mlinaric said she “wanted to come up with a way for people to engage in the city again, in a safe way.”Advertisement“All of the places that are featured in ‘Scavenger’ are things you see outdoors,” Mlinaric said. “We just wanted people to be able to get together outside safely, and enjoy the city. Just writing the book last summer, it was so nice for me to be able to get out and explore other neighborhoods again, and remember everything that’s out there in Chicago — all the different communities, restaurants and small businesses to support and things to see that we didn’t really get to enjoy for a little while.”Travel writer and photographer Jessica Mlinaric stands in front of the home where L. Frank Baum lived in the late 1800s while he wrote “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.” The site of the mosaic mural and yellow bricks is one of the locations in Mlinaric’s new book, “Chicago Scavenger.” (Raquel Zaldivar / Chicago Tribune)The book enlists readers in an interactive mission to explore 17 neighborhoods — from Rogers Park to Pullman. Readers have to decipher rhyming and visual clues that lead them to sites and locales imbued with history. Grouped by neighborhood and organized by suggested routes, there are 342 spots for viewers to discover — revealing public art, city oddities, less-known museums, overlooked historical markers and more.Take the Pullman neighborhood, for instance. Mlinaric takes readers through the company town built in 1881 for employees of the Pullman Palace Car Co. Readers start their tour of the area, notable for its labor history, at the famous clock tower (now the visitor center); they go under the Metra train line viaduct to see public artwork that speaks to said labor history; and then go by the Queen Anne building, the exhibit hall with a vivid mural, a horse’s head, a place of worship and a building that was once the Pullman area’s hospital. Don’t forget to take in the war memorial and the shared gallery space that doubles as affordable housing for artists to live and create.The Tribune spoke with Mlinaric about adventuring in Chicago with her book at our side. The interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.Q: You were surprised to learn how easy it is for Chicagoans to stay in their neighborhood bubble. Do you think this book will turn the tide?I hope so. With it coming out in the spring, hopefully that will be good timing for everybody to get out and enjoy the city again. I’m thinking people can take their kids out or go out with their friends and challenge each other to see who can get the most places in one neighborhood. Or just do it by yourself. Keep the book in your car. And, if you’re driving around and you need something to do, just take it out because it’s spiral-bound, so it’s more like a workbook. It’s really meant to be used; there’s places for notes in there. Take it out and hit the town.I hope there are things people will recognize right away and some things they’ll discover that they didn’t know about. Chicago is so big, there’s plenty of places that people who lived here forever have never been, so challenge yourself to go see something new. Go check out a different community. Talk to people across town. That can be a big deal.Q: How did you land on which of Chicago’s 77 neighborhoods to include in the book?AdvertisementI got a mix of neighborhoods from around the city, from the Northwest and South sides and also the Loop. I wanted to choose places where there was a concentration of points of interest close to each other so it would be easy enough to either walk or bike or drive from place to place in the neighborhood. And the places that I picked are either something that’s visually exciting or interesting, maybe something historically significant or just really meaningful to the neighborhood.Jessica Milnaric’s latest book, “Chicago Scavenger,” is an interactive mission to explore 17 neighborhoods across the city. (Reedy Press)Q: How hard was it to select photos for clues without giving it all away?I took all the photos in the book. There’s 342 places and some of them were challenging to try to get a photo that wouldn’t give it all away. But it’s meant to be a hint. If you’re nearby and you’re looking for it, it’s supposed to hopefully tip you off to make sure that you know you found this.Q: How hard was it to write every clue in rhyme? You managed to rhyme ‘restored’ with ‘forbs.’I learned that word. I am not a poet by background. I’ve never tried to write in rhyme before so I wasn’t sure I could do it. I took a day and a few ideas and sat down and tried to make it work. It was fun; about 350 clues in rhyme, I was feeling a bit like Dr. Seuss. Once I chose the sites, I thought about what do I want the reader to know about them? Why did I choose it, why is it historic or significant and then a little description of where they can find it so they know what they’re looking for. I took those keywords and then just tried to find rhyming combinations with them. I hope that they make sense to the readers. I was talking in rhyme for a while there and I think my husband thought I was losing my mind.AdvertisementQ: Is the next step to cover all the city’s neighborhoods?That would be fun. If I could just keep doing them and eventually cover all of Chicago. Because as much as I learned about Chicago, I always end up with more questions and more things to research and go check out; people to talk to. You can never really do all of Chicago, but it’s fun to try though.Q: What is the unique thing you found in your travels. Were you surprised by anything?Some of the things that surprised me: Learning about the stories behind some of the public art that you see. If you’ve been by the lakefront, there’s that totem pole near Belmont Harbor, and that’s based on an earlier work that used to be in Chicago. And different restaurants like Pilsen’s Carnitas Uruapan has been there since 1975. Or Lutz Cafe in Lincoln Square has been there since 1948. I think that’s so special. … To learn about how certain things have been there as communities have changed and grown over time.Q: How long does it take to go through a neighborhood on this city scavenger hunt?I would say to budget about a day for each neighborhood. I am fully aware and expect people to Google or do whatever you have to do on your phone and find it. If you’re just out and you see something, or you’re having brunch and you’re in one of the neighborhoods in the book and you’ve got it handy, just go out and do it.AdvertisementI am going to have a little contest on my website for everyone who wants to really dig in and solve all the clues. I’ll have some prizes. … Take a picture of each site and upload it on my website. And you’ll get points (there will be a leaderboard). And that’s for anyone who wants to do it “Amazing Race” style. You can certainly be a little more casual about it. Just go out with your family, friends, colleagues at work for a team-building exercise.Q: Is there a lot of overlap or some overlap from the first book to the second? Maybe former readers can connect the dots with the second book?There is a little bit of overlap. I would say if you’ve read the first book, you’ll have a bit of an upper hand on this one. But the first book, “Secret Chicago,” was more background on each place, more information and photos and things. Whereas this book is me giving you all the information about a place; I’m kind of pointing you in the direction and you’re discovering it on your own.Q: Was there any neighborhood that really sparked your interest?AdvertisementI’m excited to get people down to Pullman because it’s pretty unique that we have a national monument here in Chicago. I think a lot of people haven’t made the trip down to visit and they have a new visitor center, and the administration building has been redone since last summer.The book launch for “Chicago Scavenger” will be at 1 p.m. May 21 at Schubas. Mlinaric will be signing books. There will be a raffle, prizes and a poet typing custom poems for people.drockett@chicagotribune.com

Dear Amy: Fifty-five years ago, when I was young and stupid, I had a child out of wedlock and placed the baby up for adoption.Fast-forward to now. I am married to a different man and have a 48-year-old daughter and a 38-year-old son.AdvertisementI have two grandchildren. My husband knows about my indiscretion, but it never comes up in discussion.Sometimes I struggle with the question: Do my adult children have the right to know that they have a half-brother somewhere? My gut tells me no: “Let a sleeping dog lie.” “Why open up a can of worms?”AdvertisementI know my husband would definitely be against telling our kids about this. We are elderly people and just want to live peaceful lives.Did I just answer my own question? I’m wondering what you think.– WonderingDear Wondering: As long as you see this long-ago pregnancy only as a mistake, an indiscretion, or something that resulted from your own stupidity, you won’t have any motivation to tell the story.And as long as you see this truth as a “sleeping dog” or a “can of worms,” rather than a story about actual human beings, then yes, you will keep a tight lid on it.I see this as an important and very rich part of your own personal history.Alas, I cannot answer your question for you. Yes, I do believe your children have the right to know about a sibling. Not knowing anything about you – or them – I’d like to think that your children might be shocked but would ultimately be very understanding about this long-ago choice.The child you gave birth to might also be searching for his own biological relatives.AdvertisementYes, you have the legal right to deny him this knowledge, but – should you?I do know this: The ubiquity of household DNA testing kits is forcing a lot of stories like yours out into the open. A simple dab of spit can reveal all.You can either try to control the narrative now or deal with family members down the road who would be shocked by the story, and also dismayed by your silence.Like that long-ago choice you made, this one won’t be easy – but maybe you’ll choose a brave uncertainty over peace and quiet. It really is up to you.A counselor would help you to sort out your thinking, and also find the right words to say.Dear Amy: My brother is a widower and a single dad. His wife died two years ago due to cancer and he is raising his nine-year-old daughter.AdvertisementHe is now starting to date again, and met a nice girl on a trip to another country. Even though they don’t live in the same place he is very invested in the relationship with his girlfriend. Whenever he is not working, he talks with her over the phone and video calls.I’m very happy for him but now due to this, my niece is complaining that my brother is not given her any time. She says he spends day and night on the phone and is not spending time with her.I have shared some time with them over the weekends and sadly my niece is not exaggerating.I really don’t want to get involved, but I would like my brother to realize that my niece is missing their father-daughter time with him.I would also like for her to understand that is nice for him to be in a relationship.How can I help them? Do you have any suggestions?Advertisement- Concerned AuntieDear Concerned: You should talk to your brother about this. Ask him to be more aware of the amount of time he is devoting to this new relationship. Given that they are conducting the relationship remotely, hours spent on the phone would be very alienating to his daughter. He needs to be present for his daughter – physically, mentally, and emotionally.You should also offer to spend as much time as possible with your niece. Yes, you can explain to her that it’s a positive thing for her father to embark on another relationship, but no grieving nine-year-old is going to embrace this concept.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: “Nervous”[CQ] wrote about how his mother-in-law interferes with their parenting – over FaceTime!The woman isn’t even in the room with them and they allow her to control them!- Scratching my HeadAdvertisementDear Scratching: An overwhelming person doesn’t need to be physically present to make themselves heard. I hope these new parents draw some very firm boundaries.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Eboo Patel began his efforts to bring people of different faiths together for dialogue and service projects in a basement office on the Northwest Side.He kept his day job and piloted a practical Chrysler Cirrus sedan through the streets of Chicago, delivering high school kids to meetings where they engaged in spirited discussions and packed meals for homeless people.Advertisement“I was like a Cub Scout leader,” Patel said with a chuckle.What a difference 20 years makes. Today Patel, who comes to interfaith work from a Muslim perspective, helms a nonprofit with a staff of 54, a budget of $14 million and programs on hundreds of college campuses. Interfaith America has advised presidents and helped Starbucks develop religious diversity education for employees.AdvertisementAnd Patel, whose organization — formerly known as Interfaith Youth Core and is being renamed Interfaith America on Tuesday to reflect its broader goals, is still innovating.Eboo Patel established Interfaith Youth Core, which has been renamed Interfaith America. He is seen here at his office on May 6, 2022. (Youngrae Kim/for the Chicago Tribune)In his new book, “We Need To Build: Field Notes for Diverse Democracy,” Patel pushes for a broader vision of American religious values that acknowledges not only Christians and Jews, but also Buddhists, Muslims, Sikhs, Jains, Zoroastrians and nonbelievers, among others.“We are an organization that builds bridges and says, ‘Diversity is not just the differences that you like,’ ” said Patel, 46.“The only way to have a healthy, religiously diverse democracy is for people who disagree on some fundamental things to work together on other fundamental things, right? It’s a remarkable achievement in human history for people of diverse identities and divergent ideologies to build a nation together, and we think religion has an awful lot to do with that,” he said.Patel acknowledged that religion can be weaponized but noted that his Muslim parents obtained degrees from the University of Notre Dame and DePaul University, both Catholic institutions. His kids went to Catholic preschools. His sister-in-law’s children went to a Jewish preschool.“We in America have this remarkable civic genius where communities of a particular faith build institutions as an expression of their particular faith identity, (and those institutions) serve everybody. I think it is one of the great, never-celebrated geniuses of America,” Patel said.In recognition of his organization’s expanded mission, which has included training 2,000 people to work within their diverse faith communities to advocate for the COVID-19 vaccine, the group is formally announcing the name change Tuesday at Georgetown University.“As my Buddhist friends say, ‘Chop wood, carry water,’ right? There are no shortcuts,” Patel said of his organization’s rise. “I’m really proud of how hard we have worked, program by program, staff person by staff person, student by student, faculty member by faculty member.”AdvertisementPatel began his career in the shadow of Sept. 11, 2001, and became a media darling at a time when news organizations were seeking out moderate Muslim voices to combat a wave of bias and misunderstanding.“CNN would be calling us all the time,” said Zeenat Rahman, the executive director of the Institute of Politics at the University of Chicago, who worked for Interfaith America from 2006 to 2011.Patel, a Rhodes scholar with a doctorate in the sociology of religion from Oxford University, was named one of “America’s Best Leaders” by US News & World Report in 2009. He served on President Barack Obama’s inaugural Advisory Council on Faith-Based Neighborhood Partnerships, and has published five books, including the award-winning autobiography, “Acts of Faith: The Story of an American Muslim, in the Struggle for the Soul of a Generation.”His greatest strength is his ability to convey an inspiring vision of what is possible, Rahman said, but he’s also a strategic thinker who can convince foundations that say, “We don’t do religion,” to get on board and invest in his programs.“He could have done and been anything he wanted and he chose to do this,” Rahman said of interfaith work.“He could have run for Senate,” Rahman said. “He could have run for presidential office, and I think we would have been really successful because he has that intangible ‘I don’t know what it is, but you know it when you see it in a leader.’ Obama has it. Bill Clinton has it.”AdvertisementWheaton College President Philip Ryken said that he’s known Patel for about 10 years and they see each other regularly at higher education events. A few years ago, Ryken invited Patel to his evangelical Christian college campus and interviewed him publicly about interfaith issues, Christianity and Islam.“Eboo has a strong capacity for friendship — not just networking, but also friendship, and I think that enables him to build coalitions more strongly,” Ryken said.Ryken said that Patel’s message appeals to communities of faith that hold strongly to their religious convictions, a category that includes evangelicals as well as many Muslims and Jews.“Interfaith Youth Core does not require people of faith to check their religious convictions at the door, but actually to bring them to the conversation so that they can be the fullness of who they are in those relationships and not have to pretend to agree about things that they don’t agree about,” he said.Ryken disagrees with Patel on big issues such as the nature of God and the path to salvation, he said, but he agrees that there are still areas where they can cooperate for the common good, and that it’s important to seek out such cooperation.Patel lives in Chicago with his wife, Shehnaz Mansuri, a lawyer, and their two sons, the older of whom is a student at Lane Tech College Prep High school.AdvertisementPatel was full of his usual enthusiasm during a recent interview, and, true to form, was still setting new goals. He wants the United States to fully embrace the contributions of all religions to the cultural fabric of the country, he said, a paradigm leap that would build on the advances made in the 20th century, when a nation that had viewed itself as Protestant began to see itself as Protestant, Catholic and Jewish.“My vision is that we start calling the United States ‘Interfaith America,’ and not Judeo-Christian, and that becomes just commonplace in five or six years,” he said. “‘Judeo-Christian’ did great work, but it doesn’t include atheists or Zoroastrians, it doesn’t include Muslims or Jains, it doesn’t include B’hais or Buddhists. And we have to. We have to. So a big part of the vision is a shift in paradigm. And then I want our civic American institutions to follow that shift in paradigm with actual activities.”Patel wants a national day of interfaith service, an interfaith student council on every college campus and training for nurses and doctors in how to engage the diverse religious identities of their patients.He wants companies to follow Starbucks’ lead and have religious diversity education that encourages interfaith cooperation.This isn’t the first time that interfaith leaders have tried to broaden the nation’s understanding of its religious identity, according to Kevin M. Schultz, chair of the history department at the University of Illinois at Chicago and author of the book “Tri-Faith America: How Catholics and Jews Held Postwar America to Its Protestant Promise.”In the 1920s and ‘30s, people of different faiths worked together to combat a wave of Ku Klux Klan activity and anti-immigrant sentiment aimed at Catholics and Jews from southern and eastern Europe.Advertisement“It was a big deal to get Protestants, Catholics and Jews to work together,” said Schultz, and the effort, which included the formation of the National Conference for Christians and Jews, had broad impact. Presidents joined the board of the organization, the group’s National Brotherhood Week was widely celebrated and members helped organize the national March on Washington in 1963, when Martin Luther King Jr., delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech.Broadening the idea of whose religion is fundamentally American was a big lift, and remains so today, Schultz said. Still, he said, Patel is suited to the task: He is well-connected, having worked on Obama’s interfaith efforts. He comes from a minority faith, but he’s very good at speaking to majority faiths. And he has a vision and optimism that Schultz finds “totally compelling.”“If anyone’s well-positioned to make it happen again, it’s Eboo Patel,” Schultz said.nschoenberg@chicagotribune.com

ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 14Team members play an organ made of trash and sing along as the 35th annual University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt is judged on May 8, 2022. (Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune)

From COVID-19 vaccines to the agriculture industry, from mental health wellness to the city of Chicago’s Year of Healing, equity is a term at the forefront on many societal fronts. And for the past two years, the University of Chicago Data Science Institute (DSI) has been focusing on internet equity in a hope to better understand how to fix the digital divide laid bare in state communities during this pandemic.Researchers from the university’s Crown Family School of Social Work, Policy and Practice and the Department of Computer Science have been collaborating for the past two years gathering newer, focused internet data on Chicago’s 77 neighborhoods under the Internet Equity Initiative. At Monday’s Data Science Institute summit on UChicago’s campus, Nick Feamster, faculty director of research at the Data Science Institute, and Nicole Marwell, associate professor in the Crown Family School of Social Work, Policy and Practice — both principal investigators of the initiative — revealed a 32-point difference between the most connected neighborhoods in the Loop and Near North Side (where more than 94% of households are connected to the internet) compared with Far South Side neighborhoods of Burnside and West Englewood, where fewer than 62% of households are connected.Advertisement“We’ve known for a while that federal data on this basically collects paper forms from internet service providers at a pretty coarse granularity, like a census tract level and if one home gets covered, they’re like, ‘OK, it’s fine,’ Feamster said. “I knew that was suspect, but it hit home for me when I moved to Hyde Park almost three years ago. If you look at that map, Hyde Park purportedly gets gigabit internet access and has multiple ISPs serving it. But I had a heck of a time signing up for service on my block. That lit a fire for me. I was like, ‘Wow, if it’s this bad in Hyde Park, in the city of Chicago, it’s got to be even worse elsewhere where we’re not even looking.”Nicole Marwell, left, and Nick Feamster speak at the inaugural Data Science Institute Summit at the University of Chicago on May 9, 2022. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)The disparities in connectivity between neighborhoods can be seen in DSI’s data portal, which combines public and private data from 20 cities in the nation, including Chicago. UChicago undergraduate students analyzed pre-pandemic information from the U.S. Census, the American Community Survey, the Federal Communications Commission and the portal for a more localized look of internet connectivity in Chicago. From July through August 2021, researchers measured internet performance in a house in Hyde Park and one in South Shore — both households were paying for gigabit internet service from Xfinity (Comcast). The Hyde Park household experienced higher-quality internet than the South Shore household. Portal data also revealed connectivity strongly correlates with income, unemployment and race/ethnicity.AdvertisementPer the portal data, in portions of Roseland, broadband access is as low as 49%; in an area of Chicago Heights, it’s less than that, and in an area in East Garfield Park, connectivity is lower than 46%. The Loop, Lincoln Park and Beverly neighborhoods show over 90% connectivity. The results emphasize the need for continued, targeted intervention to improve connectivity in sections of the city, and the reason for DSI’s ongoing study. With the $65 billion in federal funding that was authorized in 2021 under the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act to help expand broadband, Feamster and Marwell hope the initiative’s work helps Illinois secure its fair share of moneys under the act and aids stakeholders interested in working on solutions to decrease the digital divide.The initiative is working with local community organizations and residents to help in this effort by collecting different measurements of internet performance in households across Chicago. Volunteers from across Chicago have installed small devices on their routers, which allows researchers to measure internet performance as data travels to and from the household. Researchers are continuing to recruit volunteers to conduct comparisons between neighborhoods. Feamster said the institute’s team welcomes many manners of involvement from community residents — from “slicing and dicing the data,” but also to think about solutions.“The point of collecting the data is to understand the nature of the problem, which can then inform the folks who are working to actually develop solutions to the problem,” Marwell said. “And those can be a lot of different folks: ISPs, utility companies, it could be community groups that are putting together public Wi-Fi, it could be landlords who are trying to add Wi-Fi into their building services, rather than having people connect to an internet service provider on their own.Marwell said connectivity is more than just an affordability issue. The initiative study is really driving at the quality and reality of people’s lived internet experience on the ground — something more than the one-time captured data of internet speed tests. By measuring more of the lived experience in continuous real time , researchers can measure over time whether something big is going on in a certain neighborhood or whether an area is just having a bad day or hour.“It may seem like internet is one solution fits all, but the more we learn about the nature of the problem, we see that what the building is made out of makes a difference, what the trees and other topography are like makes a difference,” Marwell said. “What’s possible within the sort of managerial orientation of a multiunit building makes a difference, what community institutions might be available to site an antenna for community Wi-Fi — all those things are part of this process. We can’t really be thinking about solving the internet problem just as give everybody a subsidy to buy their own service.”“I think to the extent that these efforts are successful at achieving the goal of greater connectivity, that’s going to be really important proof of concept for continuing to roll money in subsequent years through subsequent infrastructure investments at both the federal and the state level, to continue the work and try and reach everybody,” Marwell said.drockett@chicagotribune.com