Browsing: Lifestyle

Pillado, 79, has been working at a nearby meatpacking plant for 20 years, lifting thousands of pounds of frozen meats into large vats, eight hours a day, five days a week. His $16 an hour pretax is the married couple’s only source of income. With it, they manage to pay for their groceries, medicines, utilities and their $800 monthly rent — but not much else.

I shared your letter with Charles Rubin, author of “Don’t Let Your Kids Kill You: A Guide for Parents of Drug and Alcohol Addicted Children” (2007, New Century Publishers). Rubin says, “You must take a firmer line and tell her to get a full-time job or work full-time hours within a specific time frame. Tell her, ‘If you’re smoking, you obviously won’t be able to get that job and I won’t be able to offer you housing any longer.’ Give her a deadline and calmly stick to it. In addition to preserving your own self and health, you have the opportunity to influence her by your example.” [September 2012]

“Those impediments, they’re real. The ladies that I have, they all have something going on, but if they can become economically sustainable, that’s the big thing,” Turner said. “I’ve been broke, I’ve been on public aid, I’ve been borrowing and begging for a long time. I always looked at Oprah, like, she went over to Africa, built this school, she takes care of these girls, but they are here, they need help right here, right now.”

I recently had lunch with friends, and one woman, “Barbara,” launched into politics (as usual). When I pointed out that “friends who don’t talk politics stay friends,” Barbara laughed it off and continued her diatribe. At this point, I don’t think she can help herself. Is my only option to quit having lunch with Barbara and others like her?

The unfurling leaves make springtime visible to us in a dramatic way. But like an action hero who has been training in secret, trees have been at work for months. Underground, roots have been growing. Just beneath the bark, water and sugar have been lifted up the trunk from the roots into the buds. Inside each bud, cells have been dividing as the hidden leaf grew, causing the bud to swell.

Invite your mother-in-law to your home for meals, and let her know that if she is nervous about eating your food, she can bring her own, but that you will always set a place for her, because, as you know – love and kindship surrounding the table are the most important ingredients of all.

I recommend adding used coffee grounds, the filters, along with kitchen scraps, and plant debris to your compost pile. A plastic compost bin, which houses the pile, has worked very well for me. You can add a small amount of grounds to the pile each day. And it’s a simple way to reduce waste going to a landfill. The paper filters decompose rapidly, too. The finished compost enriches the soil in our vegetable garden.

If you have stayed in touch with these people during these past two decades, and if you have a cordial relationship with your ex-husband (and his current spouse, if applicable), then you would consider attending any services in person, especially if your adult children would like to see you there.

“The whole birth of CAYTA is about getting the kids out of their heads and into the world, so they can learn and grow,” Dyer said. “In that, we found kids that had never seen the Chicago River. We take certain things for granted. But if the parent is working all the time, when does the parent get to take the youth to the theater, to explore these different things? This is the life that I was able to share with my own kids, grandkids, so I said let’s bring this to the community, so these kids can have options because that’s all it’s about, options.”

What do you think of my proposed response at the end of our next book meeting? I will say: “Well, ladies, I’m so busy with house guests and other commitments, plus I’m trying to finish writing my book, so I’m going to have to take a break for a while. But I’ll be back. Oh, and by the way, thank you for all the many invitations to join you for lunch or dinner. I was bereft when my husband died, so that meant a lot to me.”