Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: A grandson’s prom gown horrifies his grandmother

Dear Amy: I have one son and two grandsons.The older grandson, age 17, appeared at his prom wearing a full-length purple gown with nail polish to match.AdvertisementI privately told my son (his father) that I was concerned for my grandson’s safety, as he would be a target if he is so flamboyant.My son became very defensive and said that people can love who they want, and that society needs to get used to it. I agree. But there are people out there who don’t like this “in your face” behavior.AdvertisementI have not mentioned this again. I don’t want to alienate my son or grandson, but the prospect of having a LGBTQ grandson makes me sick.He spends most of his time alone in his room and is very sullen. His maternal grandfather committed suicide last year, so I am concerned about the mental health of the entire family.They are receiving counseling individually and as a family.Can I do anything other than cry myself to sleep?Could this be a phase, or will he always be like this?– Devastated GrandmaDear Devastated: I have a blunt question for you: Are you going through a phase, or will you always be like this?I hope it’s a phase.AdvertisementYes, you worry. Yes, you fret. But the role of a grandparent is actually so simple: All you have to do is to love your grandchildren – exactly as they are, exactly as they present to you; through phases, representations, or revelations – and through whatever joys or challenges they encounter.Can you imagine the impact on this family if you just simply loved and accepted all of them, no matter what?You might not understand why your grandson would make the choice to go to the prom wearing what sounds like an amazing outfit. But that sullen teenager left his bedroom, got dolled-up, and took himself to the prom!(I wish I’d had an ounce of that kind of courage at his age.)Furthermore, his father is his ally! Give yourself credit for raising a man who is a good parent.This family is receiving professional support (another very wise choice).AdvertisementYour only job here is to find a way around your own fears, and to relieve yourself of the burden to judge this family – and instead to love all of them, just as they are.Dear Amy: I moved to a different state in 2019 and have made one friend.I met “Stacy” before the pandemic so up until now, she’s been the only person in my new home that I have close ties to.I’m a loner, and it takes a lot for me to let people in.One of the main reasons for this is because I believe I suffer from an eating disorder.Most of the time, I have to force myself to eat. Some months are better than others, but it’s a daily battle for me.AdvertisementI overheard Stacy talking to her significant other about my weight the other day. She said I lost too much weight and that something must be wrong with me.I feel like if we’re friends, why not ask me about this directly?My weight has been a struggle for me and I’ve actually gained a little bit, so this hurt my feelings.Only my children know how much I struggle with this. (I’ve never been diagnosed by a doctor, either.)This isn’t the first time Stacy has said something that has cut me deep, but I also don’t want to lose the only new friend I’ve made.How should I handle this?Advertisement– A Confused LonerDear Loner: First, do this (today): Go to the National Eating Disorders Association webpage, national eating disorders.org. They offer many invaluable and supportive resources, including a “chat” function and a “helpline”: (800) 931-2237. You should see a physician and get a thorough checkup.Second: Please be brave enough to be honest with “Stacy.” Sharing this might deepen your friendship, and you deserve to have a good friend in your corner. You can get better, and I hope you’ll move toward a healthy recovery today.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: I did NOT agree with your advice to “Accidental Witness,” who saw her stepdaughter’s husband kissing the family’s nanny.I would be horrified if someone knew about this in my family and did not tell me.– UpsetAdvertisementDear Upset: The problem was that this witness couldn’t seem to bring herself to deliver this news. She wanted others to do it.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

Talking shop with Johnny Cueto has helped Reynaldo López adjust to a larger role in the Chicago White Sox bullpen

ANAHEIM, Calif. — Reynaldo López has worked out with Johnny Cueto during previous offseasons.Recently, López found himself following Cueto in a game.AdvertisementCueto pitched seven shutout innings for the Chicago White Sox on June 18 against the vaunted Houston Astros offense. López finished with two scoreless innings as they combined for a three-hitter in a 7-0 victory at Minute Maid Park, with López allowing one hit and striking out three.López has enjoyed being teammates with Cueto, his countryman from the Dominican Republic, who has been impressive since joining the Sox in May. Cueto is scheduled to start Tuesday against the Los Angeles Angels at Angel Stadium.Advertisement“We have a very good relationship,” López said through an interpreter Sunday at Guaranteed Rate Field. “We have had that for a couple of years. It has been better now playing together. It has been fun. We talk about the game, about pitching situations. If we did something wrong, we know we could do better. We can tell each other that in this situation, you can do this better.[ [Don’t miss] Column: How Tony La Russa and David Ross are trying to change the script during Chicago’s summer of baseball discontent ]“We are able to say what we think about each other and our performance in order for the other one to get better. It’s that kind of relationship we have.”López has been able to lean on teammates such as Cueto while playing a larger role in the Sox bullpen. He is 4-1 this season with a 3.00 ERA in 27 appearances, including one start, and has 33 strikeouts in 33 innings.“It’s almost impossible to measure his value,” Sox manager Tony La Russa said before Monday’s series opener against the Angels. “He’s really come down and has been overpowering. Not just the fastball but quality breaking balls.”White Sox reliever Reynaldo Lopez looks up after getting the last out of the sixth inning against the Blue Jays on June 20, 2022, at Guaranteed Rate Field. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)López entered Monday with 11 consecutive scoreless innings over his last eight outings, which includes his one start as an opener June 10 against the Texas Rangers.“Can’t give him enough credit,” La Russa said.López started for the Sox from 2017-20. He pitched mostly out of the bullpen last season (nine starts in 20 outings) and has seen that relief role expand this year.“I’ve learned a lot being in the bullpen, and I’m a different pitcher now,” he said, “just having that knowledge now that you have to be more aggressive, being in that attack mode every time, that makes every pitch count.” AdvertisementOpponents are batting .188 (12-for-64) with runners on base against López, who also has held hitters to a 1-for-12 mark (.083) with runners in scoring position and two outs. Opponents are 7-for-33 (.212) overall against López with runners in scoring position.[ [Don’t miss] Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout — and possibly Yermín Mercedes — await the White Sox on their 6-game trip ]Reliever Kendall Graveman has been helpful with the adjustment to relief work, López said.“Right before the season started, he gave me some clues about what to do to have success before every series,” López said. “Just try to go to the opposite batter, try to check their weaknesses and strengths, try to analyze and visually try to pitch to them.“And at the same time, have a plan. And I’ve been doing that. I usually do my report at home before I get there on other teams, and that has helped me too. Those little things have helped me to adjust better and have that kind of success I have right now.”Another key, López said, is feeling more in sync with his mechanics.“Right now, everything feels in place,” he said. “Everything is synced up. My delivery is all in one movement. My arm action is good. I feel loose. Last year was a difficult one and to get to this point wasn’t an easy process. It was a lot of work and a lot of changes I had to make.Advertisement“Now because of that, I feel more comfortable. My pitches are better, my command is better and that’s been the key.”He laughed when asked if, in three or four years down the line, he would rather be a starter or a closer.“I think I will go with being a starter,” López said. “That’s what I used to be and I like doing it. But at the same time, I think being a reliever or especially as a closer, the closer has a lot more adrenaline in that part of the game. I would say the relationship is probably 60-40 right now, starter.”

Sports

Dee Brown, star of Illinois’ 2005 Final Four team, is hired as head coach at NAIA Roosevelt

Former Illinois star Dee Brown is the new coach at Roosevelt University in Chicago, the NAIA school announced Monday.The 37-year-old Brown was a McDonald’s All-American and Mr. Basketball of Illinois in 2002 at Proviso East in Maywood.AdvertisementHe went on to lead Illinois to Big Ten regular-season titles in 2004 and 2005 and a run to the 2005 NCAA championship game, in which the Illini lost to North Carolina.Brown played professionally for nine seasons, including two NBA seasons with the Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards and Phoenix Suns.AdvertisementBrown has been an assistant at Illinois-Chicago since 2017. He also worked as director of player development and alumni relations for the Illinois men’s basketball team under former coach John Groce and coached AAU ball.

Lifestyle

Monkeypox cases in Chicago jump to 42 but it remains rare and is much less transmissible than COVID-19

Chicago has 42 diagnosed monkeypox cases, the city’s top doctor said Monday.That’s an increase from the 27 cases that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was reporting for all of Illinois.AdvertisementDr. Allison Arwady, shared the update with the City Council’s health committee.“At this point, it is rare, and we’ve not had any deaths associated with it, and it does not spread easily,” Arwady said.AdvertisementMonkeypox is a viral illness that typically begins with flu-like symptoms and swelling of the lymph nodes before progressing to a rash on the face and body. The illness typically lasts two to four weeks. According to the CDC, monkeypox cannot be spread by people who don’t have symptoms.The illness doesn’t spread through casual contact like COVID-19 can, Arwady said.“This is close contact. Skin to skin. Touching somebody’s rashes or sores. Potentially sharing bedding or towels. Kissing, coughing, sneezing,” she said.The CDC was reporting 244 cases in the United States as of Monday, though apparently not all of the new Chicago cases had been added. The outbreak is most severe in parts of western Europe, though cases have been reported across the globe.A long line of people seeking monkeypox vaccinations wait outside the Chelsea Sexual Health Clinic in New York on June 23, 2022. (Hiram Durán/The New York Times)Most of Chicago’s monkeypox cases have been in men who have sex with men, a pattern also seen in the European outbreak, Arwady said.“A lot of this is just because spread will occur through tight-knit social networks,” she said.People who see a new and unexplained rash should see their doctor and avoid intimacy, Arwady said.Monkeypox’s spread among men who have sex with men isn’t typical of the illness and is just a characteristic of this year’s outbreak, said Dr. Sharon Welbel, Cook County Health’s director of hospital epidemiology and infection control and prevention. Awareness of where the illness is spreading allows for more focused intervention, she said.AdvertisementThe jump in cases shows that doctors and the public are getting better at identifying and properly treating monkeypox, she said.“It is a big increase since the last number that we heard last week, but I’m not surprised,” Welbel said. While the virus is not common in the U.S., it was first identified in 1958, and is more common in West and Central Africa, she added. Vaccines and antivirals used to treat similar viruses, such as smallpox, can be used to treat monkeypox, she said.Afternoon BriefingDailyChicago Tribune editors’ top story picks, delivered to your inbox each afternoon.Monkeypox is also much less transmissible than COVID-19 and easy to avoid because of its visibility, Welbel said. The monkeypox rash grows to look like a large pimple and often starts on the face, she previously told the Tribune. The rash can resemble herpes, chickenpox and syphilis, she said.Epidemiologists have also confirmed that the monkeypox version spreading in Illinois is less aggressive and associated with very low mortality rates, Welbel said.“Patients shouldn’t be afraid that they’re going to get this at the doctor’s office or at the hospital. We know how to isolate these patients,” she said.More cases will be seen worldwide as it becomes easier to identify the illness, Welbel added.Advertisement“I really think people should not be fearful,” she said.jsheridan@chicagotribune.comTwitter @jakesheridan_