By Shewanda Riley | Dallas Weekly
Overview:
This Father’s Day column reflects on the importance of fathers and their impact on children’s lives. The author shares personal anecdotes about her late father and how he made “deposits” into her life, including teaching her the importance of kindness. She also acknowledges that not everyone has a positive relationship with their father, but that lessons can still be learned from them. The author encourages readers to honor their fathers and the impact they have had on their lives, while also reminding them that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants the best for us.
In honor of Father’s Day, this week’s column is a reshare of one I wrote a few years ago about the importance of Fathers and Father’s day.
“I am not the Bank of Frank” was one of the sayings my late Daddy would half-jokingly say to my sisters and me when we asked him for money when we were younger.
The funny thing is that while he would be fussing about us asking him for money and him not being a money tree, he would be reaching for his wallet, complaining all while counting out the money. However, he was more than an ATM, giving us money when we asked. He also made deposits into the lives of me, my sisters, as well as others.
Since the 6-year anniversary of the death of George Floyd just passed, I’ve thought quite a bit lately the impact his death continues to have on our culture. I remember how heartbreaking it was when Floyd’s then-6-year-old daughter, Gianna, said, “Daddy changed the world.” Regardless of the circumstances of her Daddy’s death, Gianna recognized even at that young of an age her father’s impact on the world.
There are deposits that fathers make into their children’s lives, even when they may not realize it.
For those of us who were blessed to have fathers who were an active part of our lives, we can also say that our Dads changed the world, but maybe not on the global level of Floyd’s raising awareness about police violence. For example, when we were going through insurance papers of my late father shortly after his death in April 2020, we found a treasure trove including military records, resumes, and performance evaluations that he kept from his jobs for over 40 years in a baby blue Samsonite briefcase.
What struck me most was a simple thank-you note written to him in the early 1970s for the kindness he showed when a co-worker experienced a death in the family. The fact that my father still had it was a big surprise. But what was even more amazing was that the co-worker’s description of kindness matched the same kindness I’d seen my father show to others over the years. Even more importantly, it makes me realize that my desire to show kindness to others is one of the deposits that my father made in my life. Seeing this nearly 50-year-old thank-you note made me realize that he’s the reason I also love keeping thank-you notes!
But what about those who didn’t grow up with a father or didn’t like the one you grew up with? You may have still learned lessons from them on what kind of person you choose not to be. Proverbs 4:1 says, “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.” In this case, the lesson is taught by watching people, realizing we don’t want to be like them and avoiding their behavior.
This Father’s Day weekend, I encourage you to take the time to honor your fathers (natural, spiritual, Godfathers, etc.) and the deposits they’ve made in your life. Keep this in mind: Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants the best for us, which is the best deposit that we can make in the lives of others.
Happy Father’s Day!
Shewanda Riley is a Dallas-based author of “Love Hangover: Moving From Pain to Purpose After a Relationship Ends” and “Writing to the Beat of God’s Heart: A Book of Prayers for Writers.” Email her at preservedbypurpose@gmail.com or follow her on Instagram @shewandawrites.
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