Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Mom of trans teen is worried about church

Dear Amy: I have a 17-year-old daughter who identifies as a male.I am OK with this. I am a Christian and attend a traditional Methodist church.AdvertisementI am involved in a lot of church events, but my child is not.I am not sure how the church is going to react to my child’s transition. I also don’t know how my side of the family will react. I had one guy from the church already make a comment about my teen wearing a tux to the prom.AdvertisementI told people that she doesn’t do dresses, which is true.My question is — how do I support my daughter/son and also hold on to my church?– Confused MomDear Confused Mom: If your child identifies as a male, then he is not a daughter/son — but a son.This gender transition is also a transition for you, and you should continue along this path by using your child’s preferred pronoun.Regarding your church, this may seem like a complex doctrinal or cultural issue, but it’s not!You have one child.There are other churches.AdvertisementI suggest that you take some time to get very comfortable with your child’s gender transition, and then share this knowledge with friends, family, and fellow congregants over time. You don’t need to make a big announcement but acknowledge the truth the way you would other aspects of your child’s life to people who are interested. (The “tux” comment was one opportunity for you to say, “The reason my teen didn’t wear a gown to the prom is because they identify as male.”)People may let you down – but please — do not let your faith fail you!If people at church respond unkindly, you can assure them that you will pray for them to open their hearts. Then, you should look for another place to worship.Pflag.org offers great resources and advice for parents of transgender people.Dear Amy: You offered advice to a woman (“What If”), who was traumatized when a suicidal man deliberately ran into the path of her car.You pointed out similarities between her experience and that of train personnel who are involved in these tragic incidents.AdvertisementI am a locomotive engineer. I had a 20-year-old boy jump in front of my train.The rational side of my brain knows it wasn’t my fault, but there is no escaping the emotional shock.It just kept replaying over and over in my head for quite some time.It does get better over time. She can rest assured after a long while the emotional damage will fade.– Engineer BenDear Engineer: I hope that you – and anyone traumatized by an event like this – will seek therapeutic help to recover from the symptoms of your trauma.AdvertisementA body of recent research into the lingering effects of trauma has led to some new treatments that survivors like you could find helpful and healing.Time does help to heal wounds. But treatment plus time is even better.Your professional organization or union should point you toward helpful resources.Dear Amy: I understand the angst of individuals who seek to contact (or are contacted by) previously unknown DNA relatives. I received an email about three years ago from my biological father.I wasn’t sure what to do, as my mother always told me that he wanted nothing to do with me.At the time, I was 59 and he was 79.AdvertisementI decided to say yes.During our first conversation, my biological father apologized for not being part of my life and took responsibility for his actions.My parents were 18 when I was conceived. They were young and scared and made decisions they regretted.However, it has been a blessing to text and speak on the phone, as well as to meet in person.He has sent a couple of small handmade gifts for me and his first great-grandson.Overall, it has been great to get to know him.AdvertisementAsk AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.My suggestion for people wrestling with this is: Don’t pass up the opportunity, it could turn out well. If not, just walk away.– Pleasantly SurprisedDear Surprised: I have mentioned this many times (especially lately), but the ubiquity of DNA testing is basically coming for everyone.Each of us should try to anticipate the possibility of being contacted by DNA relatives. I agree with you that this presents opportunities, but many people are quite naturally wary, because there are also risks to these connections. It isn’t always easy to just walk away.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Advertisement©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

Chicago Cubs waste Justin Steele’s strong start in a 7-6, 10-inning loss to the Arizona Diamondbacks

Rowan Wick zipped a couple of fastballs past Daulton Varsho before he settled in to a high-pressure at-bat Saturday with the Arizona Diamondbacks and Chicago Cubs knotted at 4 in the top of the 10th inning at Wrigley Field.“All I told myself was, ‘Can’t get beat again,’ ” Varsho said.AdvertisementHe didn’t.Varsho drilled a two-out, three-run double off Wick, then scored on Andrelton Simmons’ throwing error to lift the Diamondbacks to a 7-6 comeback win, handing the Cubs their fourth loss in a row. Advertisement“I just knew I had an opportunity (on the throw) to get to third and still give us a chance to score another run there,” Varsho said. “When it got by (Yan Gomes) and hit the brick (behind home plate), I was like I’m just going to keep going. It’s kind of a pinball machine back there with all the bricks.”The Diamondbacks had only one hit off Cubs starter Justin Steele but came to life against the bullpen, riding a three-run eighth inning into extras after falling behind 4-0 through three.“Our guys didn’t shut down,” Diamondbacks manager Terry Lovullo said. “They had every right to. It’s a team that has a great heartbeat. I’ve been talking about that this whole road trip, it’s a common denominator for us.”Relievers Joe Mantiply, J.B. Wendelken and Ian Kennedy combined for a pair of scoreless innings before Mark Melancon pitched the 10th for his ninth save.The Cubs scored twice in the 10th as Simmons singled to shortstop to score Christopher Morel. Simmons moved into scoring position by stealing second with Ian Happ representing the tying run at the plate.Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.Melancon fanned Happ before Jonathan Villar doubled to score Simmons, then Seiya Suzuki struck out to end it.Alek Thomas brought the Diamondbacks to life in the seventh with a two-out single to center to score Jake McCarthy. Then Pavin Smith led of the eight with the first pinch-hit homer of his career to cut the deficit to two. That snapped Cubs reliever Scott Effross’ streak of 14 appearances without allowing an earned run.“That was an electric moment for us,” Varsho said. “Gained some confidence back and just good for our whole lineup.”AdvertisementMcCarthy then doubled off David Robertson with two outs, scoring Ketel Marte to close the gap before Varsho’s single to center brought McCarthy home to tie it at four.Steele threw five scoreless innings and fanned nine, coming up one strikeout short of matching his career-high. He allowed one hit and walked two.Frank Schwindel and Patrick Wisdom hit back-to-back home runs in the second to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead. Willson Contreras singled and stole second, then left the game in the third inning with right hamstring tightness. Suzuki then doubled to left, scoring pinch runner Rafael Ortega. Gomes followed with a single to center to score Suzuki and stretch the lead to 4-0.

Sports

Preakness 2022: Early Voting outpaces favorite Epicenter, giving Baltimore native Seth Klarman a ‘twice in a lifetime’ moment

They pulled it off again.Five years after trainer Chad Brown and owner Seth Klarman took the 2017 Preakness with Cloud Computing, a horse that would never win another race, they targeted the 2022 edition with another fresh but lightly tested contender, Early Voting.AdvertisementTheir horse earned enough qualifying points to run in the Kentucky Derby, but they skipped it, figuring he’d have a better chance in Baltimore against a smaller, more fatigued field. They calculated correctly as Early Voting swept to victory in the 147th Preakness, his fourth career race.“It’s beautiful when a plan comes together,” Brown said afterward.AdvertisementEarly Voting with jockey Jose L. Ortiz leads Epicenter to the finish line for victory in the 147th Preakness, his fourth career race. (Jerry Jackson/Baltimore Sun)The win was a cherished 65th birthday present for Klarman, who grew up three blocks from Pimlico Race Course before he went on to his lucrative career as a Boston-based hedge fund manager. It was the second Triple Crown victory for Brown, a four-time Eclipse Award winner as the nation’s top trainer.“Cloud Computing was a once in a lifetime,” Klarman said. “And now I have it twice in a lifetime, which is really hard to believe it could happen.”The bookish, media-shy owner and the prolific trainer have become close as they’ve built a mutually beneficial partnership, and the Preakness has turned out to be their brightest stage.“I just want to say how happy I am to deliver a classic victory to one of my best friends, Seth Klarman, on his birthday today,” Brown said. “It’s really memorable for me.”Jockey Jose L. Ortiz reacts after winning the Preakness Stakes on Early Voting on Saturday at Pimlico. (KENNETH K. LAM/Baltimore Sun)Early Voting was known as a front-runner coming into the race, and he ran out of steam late in the April 9 Wood Memorial, where Mo Donegal passed him. But jockey Jose Ortiz coaxed him to sit behind early leader Armagnac in the Preakness, and his patience paid off. He passed Armagnac at the top of the stretch, with plenty of fuel still in his tank. Epicenter, the 6-5 favorite, tried to move up along the rail to catch Early Voting, but Ortiz closed off his path and held on to win by 1 1/4 lengths.“Whoever was coming had to come around me,” Ortiz said.Brown was not surprised to see Early Voting hold off the more experienced and lauded Epicenter. “I said the other day to somebody, he is like a bar fighter,” he said. “He has a good mind on him, but he is going to step into you if you get in his face, this horse.”Ortiz, a first-time Preakness winner, broke down in his postrace interview, thanking Brown and Klarman for supporting his career and praising their wisdom in looking past the Derby. He felt Early Voting, whom he’s ridden in each of his four career starts, was “not seasoned enough” for the 20-horse field at Churchill Downs.Advertisement“It’s very hard to get an owner to pass on the Derby,” Ortiz said. “They made the right choice for the horse.”Klarman said Early Voting likely would not have reacted well to the torrid early pace in the Derby. “We thought he needed a little more seasoning,” he said. “We thought the extra rest would help him.”He credited Brown’s “extraordinary” ability for taking in data and feeling his way to the correct plan for a horse.Owner Seth Klarman holds a trophy after his horse, Early Voting, won the 147th Preakness Stakes on Saturday at Pimlico. His wife, Beth Schultz Klarman, Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott, left, and Governor Larry Hogan are also there to celebrate the victory. (Kim Hairston)At first glance, Klarman said the 1 1/2-mile distance of the Belmont Stakes would probably be a stretch for his horse, but he had yet to discuss future plans for Early Voting with Brown, who said the Travers Stakes at New York’s Saratoga Race Course might be a target this summer.Early Voting won in 1 minute, 54.54 seconds and paid $13.40 on a $2 bet to win, $4.60 on a $2 bet to place and $3.60 on a $2 bet to show. Runner-up Epicenter paid $2.80 on a $2 bet to place and $2.40 on a $2 bet to show. Third-place finisher Creative Minister paid $4.20 on a $2 bet to show.Epicenter’s trainer, Steve Asmussen, could not believe his horse started so sluggishly, falling to eighth place and leaving himself too much work to do at the end. “I was past surprised,” he said. “I was disappointed. You’ve got to leave the gates to have any position whatsoever.”Advertisement“I had to go to another plan, which was to be inside the whole race,” Epicenter’s jockey, Joel Rosario, said. “He was fine with it, but if I had another opportunity, I wouldn’t have been inside. It’s not what I wanted, but he dealt with it, and we were making up ground. … Turning for home, I just couldn’t get to the winner.”Asmussen said Early Voting deserved all credit for his perfect trip, adding that he would take some solace because the Preakness winner is a son of Gun Runner, one of the trainer’s greatest horses.There was no Triple Crown bid on the line Saturday. That went out the window nine days before the Preakness, when Rich Strike’s owner, Rick Dawson, pulled him from the field, preferring to rest him for future races.The Derby champ was 600 miles away on Preakness morning, breezing a brisk half-mile at Churchill Downs as he continued his preparations for a possible run in the Belmont Stakes. Rich Strike was the first healthy Derby winner to skip the second leg of the Triple Crown since 1985.As if his absence was not enough, the Orioles did their part to upstage the Preakness, announcing Saturday morning that the best prospect in baseball, Adley Rutschman, would make his first career start at Camden Yards at 7:05 p.m., four minutes after post time for the main event at Pimlico.While the trainers and owners of the nine Preakness horses surely did not care about Adley mania, they did care about the boiling weather in Baltimore, with the high temperature surpassing 90 degrees for the first time in at least 20 Preakness Stakes.AdvertisementAsmussen said he was “as concerned as you can be” about the sticky heat, noting that it was a variable his powerfully built colt had never confronted.The weather was far from Klarman’s mind, however, as he processed another victory in his former hometown. He used to walk to Pimlico from his family’s home and watched Secretariat win the 1973 Preakness, two years before he graduated from Poly and moved away. He had no thought that he would return to the race someday with a horse of his own.“It was not a dream,” he said. “I didn’t think about that. I didn’t think anybody could realistically imagine they would own horses. Horses are expensive, and I didn’t grow up with a lot of resources.”Could he and Brown pull off their Preakness gambit one more time to go with their wins from 2017 and 2022? “See you in five years,” Klarman joked.154th BELMONT STAKESFinal leg of Triple Crown seriesAdvertisementElmont, New YorkJune 11TV: Chs. 11, 4 (coverage begins 5 p.m.)

Sports

Josh Donaldson’s comment to Tim Anderson leads to the benches clearing in the Chicago White Sox’s loss to the New York Yankees

NEW YORK — New York Yankees designated hitter Josh Donaldson ran between second and third base after Isiah Kiner-Falefa ended the third inning by flying out to right Saturday at Yankee Stadium.That’s when Chicago White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson said Donaldson “made a disrespectful comment.”Advertisement“Basically tried to call me Jackie Robinson, ‘What’s up, Jackie?’ ” Anderson said after the Sox’s 7-5 loss. “I don’t play like that.“He made the comment and it was disrespectful. I don’t think it was called for.Advertisement“It happened the first time he got on (in the second inning) and I spared him that time. And it happened again. And it was just uncalled for.”NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 21: umpire Nick Mahrley #48 attempts to separate Yasmani Grandal #24 of the Chicago White Sox and Josh Donaldson #28 of the New York Yankees during the fifth inning at Yankee Stadium on May 21, 2022 in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images) ** OUTS – ELSENT, FPG, CM – OUTS * NM, PH, VA if sourced by CT, LA or MoD ** (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)Two innings later the benches and bullpens cleared.As Donaldson came to the plate in the fifth, he and Sox catcher Yasmani Grandal exchanged words. Moments later, both dugouts and bullpens emptied.“What sparked it was a comment he made,” Grandal said. “This game went through a period of time where a lot of those comments were made and I think we’re way past that. It’s just unacceptable.“Thought it was a low blow and I’m going to make sure I’ve got my team’s back. There’s no way you’re allowed to say something like that. It’s unacceptable.”Added Sox manager Tony La Russa: “He made a racist comment, Donaldson. And that’s all I’m going to say.”White Sox manager Tony La Russa looks on after a benches-clearing dispute during the fifth inning against the Yankees on Saturday at Yankee Stadium. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)Anderson had to be restrained by teammates José Abreu and Gavin Sheets. There were no ejections after the benches cleared.White Sox designated hitter Jose Abreu (79) holds back shortstop Tim Anderson during a benches-clearing dispute in a game against the Yankees on Saturday in New York. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)Donaldson told New York reporters: “First inning, I called him ‘Jackie.’ Let me you give a little context. 2019, he came out with an interview that he said he was the new Jackie Robinson of baseball, he’s going to bring back fun for the game, right? In 2019 when I played for Atlanta, we actually joked about that on the game. I don’t know what’s changed from (then) and I’ve said it to him from years past, not in any manner than just joking around. So the fact that he called himself Jackie Robinson.Advertisement“If something has changed from that, my meaning of that is not any term trying to be racist by any fact of the matter. It was just off of an interview of what he called himself and when we said that before, we joked about it, he laughed. As you can tell in our series that we’ve played, there are times when I’ve tried to diffuse the situation. I took responsibility for the tag (on May 13 at Guaranteed Rate Field). I wasn’t trying to do anything there. Today just trying to diffuse it like make light, like, hey, we’re not trying to start any brawls or anything like that. Obviously he deemed that it was disrespectful, and if he did, I apologize. That’s not what I was trying to do by any manner.”It was the second time this season the teams had a benches-clearing incident.On May 13 at Guaranteed Rate Field, the Sox loaded the bases with one out in the first.Sheets struck out and Yankees catcher Jose Trevino threw to third to try to get Anderson. The shortstop made it safely by diving, but Donaldson, playing third, tried to nudge him off the base.Yankees third baseman Josh Donaldson, left, and White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson share words in the first inning on May 13 at Guaranteed Rate Field. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)The benches and bullpens briefly cleared.Anderson appreciated the support from his teammates.Advertisement“We’re a family here,” Anderson said. “We take care of each other. It’s all love in our locker room. We don’t really deal with crazy things like that. We try to keep that away from our vibes and what’s going on. It shows how connected we are.”Added Grandal: “I’m sure any other team would have reacted the same way. Like I said, a comment like that is just unacceptable. It should not be allowed. I’m sure, not only us, but anybody else would have reacted the same way. Maybe even worse.”White Sox catcher Yasmani Grandal looks on after a dispute with Yankees designated hitter Josh Donaldson, not pictured, during the fifth inning Saturday at Yankee Stadium. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)When the game resumed, reliever Reynaldo López struck out Donaldson. The Sox trailed 6-3 at the time. They pulled within a run at 6-5 but couldn’t complete the comeback to fall in the opener of the three-game series.The Yankees scored five runs in the second against starter Dallas Keuchel, with DJ LeMahieu’s two-out grand slam to right serving as the big hit.Keuchel allowed six runs on six hits with three walks (one intentional) and no strikeouts in four innings.Yankees starter Nestor Cortes allowed three runs on six hits (two from Anderson) with seven strikeouts and no walks in five innings. Abreu hit a three-run homer off Cortes with two outs in the third.AdvertisementThe Sox scored twice against reliever Michael King in the sixth. Leury García had an RBI double and scored on a Josh Harrison double to cut the Yankees lead to 6-5.The Yankees responded with a run in the sixth and held on for the win, their fourth victory in five meetings against the Sox.

Sports

Lyon stuns Barcelona 3-1 to win its 8th UEFA Women’s Champion League title

TURIN, Italy — Lyon earned a record-extending eighth Women’s Champions League trophy after beating defending champion and favorite Barcelona 3-1 in the final on Saturday.Lyon was 3-0 up after just 33 minutes and cruised home.AdvertisementThe French side has taken eight of the past 12 editions of the Women’s Champions League. Captain Wendie Renard, Sarah Bouhaddi and Eugénie Le Sommer have been part of all those successes.But Barcelona went into the final the favorite in Turin after one loss all season.AdvertisementThen Lyon stunned with goals by Amandine Henry, a header from Ada Hegerberg — the league’s all-time leading scorer — and a tap-in from Catarina Macario.Barcelona captain and Ballon d’Or winner Alexia Putellas pulled one back shortly before halftime, but they ended up repeating their 2019 loss to Lyon in the final.A fantastic solo effort got Lyon rolling in the sixth minute. Henry slid into a tackle and swiftly got up to collect the ball, cut inside, and curl a 30-yard shot into the top right corner.Just when Barcelona looked in charge, Lyon scored again after Selma Bacha worked her way down the left flank and crossed in for the unmarked Hegerberg to head in for her 59th goal in 60 league matches.It was a fitting way for Hegerberg to crown her comeback season. She returned in October after almost two years on the sidelines with injuries.Lyon was running rampant against a shellshocked Barcelona — which had won all of its matches in the Spanish league — and stretched its lead still further in the 33rd.The Barcelona defence made a mess of clearing the ball in its own box and Hegerberg rolled it across to Macario for the easiest of shots.Just before halftime, Putellas put Barcelona on the board to rekindle some hope.AdvertisementPatricia Guijarro almost scored a spectacular goal in the 58th when she spotted Lyon goalkeeper Christiane Endler off her line, but the audacious lob from just inside the Lyon half came off the crossbar.The post was also hit by Hegerberg deep in stoppage time.

Sports

Kylian Mbappé reportedly turns down Real Madrid move — again — to stay at PSG

Kylian Mbappé is set to stay at Paris Saint-Germain after again turning down the chance to join Real Madrid.The France forward has agreed to a three-year contract extension that is close to being signed, a person with knowledge of the deal told The Associated Press. They spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the contract talks publicly.AdvertisementThe 23-year-old Mbappé’s contract is expiring in June and he would have been available on a free transfer.Instead of joining 13-time European champion Madrid, which has chased him for so long, Mbappé is staying to try to deliver PSG its first Champions League title.AdvertisementMadrid managed to beat PSG in the Champions League this season but not in the transfer market once again.The Spanish giant’s failure to sign Mbappé is a significant blow for its president, Florentino Pérez, who has been trying to get the transfer over the line for a year.PSG turned down Madrid’s official bid of 180 million euros ($190 million) — the same amount it signed Mbappé for from Monaco in 2017 — and even another reported amount of 200 million euros ($211 million) was not enough to sell its star despite him having only a year remaining on his contract. Mbappé said wanted to leave at the end of last season, but only on the right terms for PSG.The wealth of the club’s Qatar sovereign wealth fund ownership linked to the emir allows PSG to resist bids that could prove irresistible to other clubs without state funding.The non-transfer reflects the shifting power dynamics in European football. Pérez was one of the architects of the European Super League breakaway from the UEFA Champions League that imploded within 48 hours in April 2021.PSG opted out of joining the 12 Super League founders, allowing its president, Nasser Al-Khelaifi, to gain one of the most powerful roles in the game as head of the European Club Association.Pérez is still pursuing his Super League dream in conflict with UEFA.Signing Mbappé would have provided a statement signing for Pérez from a team that only emerged as a rival in the last decade through its Qatari funding.AdvertisementBut the energy expended in pursuing the transfer, and optimism from Madrid, which is chasing its record-extending 14th European Cup win when it meets Liverpool in next Saturday’s Champions League final in Paris, has come to nothing.The tension between the clubs was evident when PSG was knocked out of the Champions League in the Round of 16 by Madrid in March — despite leading 2-0 overall with two Mbappé goals — and Al-Khelaifi remains under UEFA investigation for allegedly confronting match officials after the loss.Madrid is being thwarted yet again, having tried to sign Mbappé after he left Monaco in 2017 — and even before that.He visited Madrid’s facilities aged 14, and was greeted by France great Zinedine Zidane, but he instead chose to launch his stellar career at Monaco.Mbappé’s first professional goal came at the age of 17 years, 62 days, which beat the Monaco club record held by Thierry Henry.Henry’s is France’s record scorer with 51 goals. Mbappé is already on 26 and may well overtake him as a PSG player.AdvertisementHe is PSG’s second-highest scorer with 168 goals and could surpass Edinson Cavani’s record of 200 next season.However, Mbappe misses out on the chance to play alongside France teammate Karim Benzema for Madrid in what would have been a devastating partnership and the envy of Europe.Over the past year they have been prolific together for Les Bleus and both netted when France won the Nations League final.But when France defends its World Cup title later this year in Qatar, they’ll only be teammates on the national team.___Harris reported from Manchester, England.