Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Grandmother’s problems should prevent visits

Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for four years. Our daughter recently turned three. He also has a daughter from another relationship. She is 15.My boyfriend is white. I am Black. His older daughter’s mother is biracial.AdvertisementMy boyfriend’s mother, “Shelly,” has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse.She also has a habit of calling us when she is in an altered state and crying about other issues in her life.AdvertisementRecently, we had a birthday party for our daughter. Shelly attended.My parents take care of our daughter during the day. She sees a speech therapist, occupational therapist, and a behavioral therapist during the week.Our daughter puts her fingers in her ears when noises are too loud and overwhelming for her. She did this several times throughout her party.Afterward, Shelly called my boyfriend (while high) and said that her feelings were hurt because our daughter put her fingers in her ears when she was trying to talk to her. She said that our daughter is unsocialized/uncivilized because she is Black.For me, this was the last straw. Since our daughter’s birth, her grandmother has excluded her, neglected to treat her as well as her other grandchildren, and has overall been a troublesome, toxic presence.He doesn’t want to cut ties with his mother, and I would never ask him to. He is conflicted about this.I have no intention of being around his mother or of letting our daughter visit.Do you think I am unreasonable?Advertisement– Unsure in DecaturDear Unsure: First this. Your daughter has another parent – her father. You two should talk this through and try your hardest to come to an agreement on a response to his mother’s conduct.I do agree that for the time being, you should not have your young daughter spend time with her grandmother – certainly unsupervised.First off, even when she is sober, this grandmother obviously does not understand or have the capacity to cope with your daughter’s sensory processing issues. Your daughter’s response to noise and chaos is her (very logical) way of trying to cope when her brain is overloaded with too many different cues coming from different directions.Second, “Shelley” is rarely sober. The way you describe her behavior, she could inspire any thinking person to stick their fingers in their ears.Third: Your partner’s mother is a racist, and your daughter is a person of color. As you no doubt know from your own life, you cannot protect your daughter from encountering racism or prejudice. But protecting her now – when she is young and vulnerable – is a start.AdvertisementDear Amy: My partner and I are in the habit of watching TV together in the evenings. Recently he’s grown restless with the choices and checks out on his earbuds listening to music or other videos.Earbuds are hard to see, so I’ve asked him several times to let me know when he’s popping them in so I don’t try to start a conversation.He never does.Should I just let it go, or do you agree that saying, “I’m going to listen to music now” is such a huge ask?I suspect I’m not the only one with this peeve.– Falling on Deaf EarsAdvertisementDear Falling: It occurs to me that the modern ability to enjoy personal entertainments has passively resolved many disputes over who controls the remote. (Remember those?)Your husband might believe that saying, “I’m going to listen to music now” would interrupt your flow and your enjoyment. He wants to sit alongside you and experience a parallel enjoyment.Maybe you should just assume that at some point during your evening routine he will pop in the old earbuds – so you can double-check with him by tapping on his knee: (“Hey, do you have your earbuds in?”) before you try to start a conversation.Dear Amy: No no no! I could not believe your response to “Charlie,” who had three photos of his long-ago ex-wife taken during their youth in a photo album.Charlie’s wife wanted him to destroy these photos and you suggested that he completely disregard her discomfort and wishes! This is not how to stay happily married, Amy. I’m very surprised.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.– DisappointedAdvertisementDear Disappointed: My response to “Charlie” inspired a wave of universal “NO, NO, NO” from readers. (Finally, everybody agrees on one of my answers!)I was overly focused on the idea of “destroying” these photos.But yes – removing them from the album would be a good idea.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

Andrew Vaughn’s 4-hit night includes 1 of 3 Chicago White Sox homers in an 8-7 win vs. the Toronto Blue Jays

Andrew Vaughn was aware he needed a triple for the cycle when he came to bat in the sixth inning Monday against the Toronto Blue Jays.“You’ve got to keep it out of the back of your head,” Vaughn said.AdvertisementVaughn didn’t get the triple, but he did single to match a career high with four hits in the Chicago White Sox’s 8-7 victory in front of 22,482 at Guaranteed Rate Field.Vaughn had an RBI double in the first, singled and scored in the third and hit a solo homer in the fourth. His sixth-inning at-bat finished with a single to left.Advertisement“His stroke (Monday) was as pure as it could be,” Sox manager Tony La Russa said. “(Blue Jays starter José) Berríos, we hit some good pitches. We stayed on the ball good because that guy’s tough.“But we talked about it before, that’s what (Gavin) Sheets has shown, (Jake) Burger, they’re hungry hitters. They go up there every at-bat trying to make something happen, and Vaughn, he’s got that nailed.”It’s the third time Vaughn has had four hits in a game. He has five multi-hit performances in his last seven games.“Just learning from last year,” Vaughn said. “Learned how to take care of my body better. It’s 162 games. It’s long. Just being smart and being proactive about it.”Vaughn’s home run was the third of the night for the Sox. Josh Harrison’s two-run homer in the second gave them a 3-2 lead. Luis Robert made it 5-2 with a two-run homer one inning later.The Sox had production up and down the lineup, finishing with 13 hits. Eight of the nine starters had at least one hit. Leadoff batter Tim Anderson singled twice and scored a run in his return from the injured list.[ [Don’t miss] Tim Anderson is ‘excited to be back’ from the injured list for the White Sox, but Yoán Moncada heads to the IL ]“I was seeing the ball real well,” said Anderson, who last played for the Sox on May 29, when he suffered a strained right groin. “If I just stay right there where I’m at, just continue to keep pushing, I’ll be in a good spot.”La Russa said of Anderson: “His stroke is a thing of a beauty. I mean, he can get to anything.”AdvertisementHarrison was getting to almost anything defensively. He made several impressive plays, including a tremendous diving stop and throw from his knees to get Gabriel Moreno for the first out of the fifth.“He had a great game,” La Russa said of Harrison. “A clutch home run, he hit a couple of balls hard, but the defensive plays — every time you take an out away from that club is a huge step in the right direction.”Lance Lynn benefited from the defense in his second start of the season and his first at home. The right-hander allowed five runs (three earned) on four hits with five strikeouts and two walks in five-plus innings.There was a questionable ball four to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. in the sixth. Teoscar Hernández followed with a two-run double, getting the Blue Jays within 8-4. That was Lynn’s final batter.Asked about the progress from his first start to his second after returning from right knee surgery in the spring to repair a torn tendon, Lynn said: “I don’t know. I gave up five runs in five innings. It’s still horse(bleep).”La Russa had a slightly different assessment.Advertisement“The ball was coming out great,” La Russa said. “He was very aggressive. I watched him closely in that sixth. That lineup is tough. You saw what they’ve done all year long. And he was very sharp. Didn’t get bothered by the first two (runs on a homer by Raimel Tapia in the second) and kept shutting them out until the end.”White Sox reliever Reynaldo López celebrates after getting the last out in the top of the seventh inning against the Blue Jays on Monday, June 20, 2022, at Guaranteed Rate Field. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)Reynaldo López followed Lynn and struck out two in the sixth. He came back for the seventh and stranded a runner on second with another strikeout.With closer Liam Hendriks on the injured list, the Sox opted for Kendall Graveman in the eighth and Joe Kelly in the ninth. Kelly surrendered a two-run homer with one out in the ninth to Cavan Biggio but rebounded with two grounders — including another nice play by Harrison — to help the Sox begin their homestand on a positive note.“The decision point there was that Graveman, we felt, could get the last out in the seventh (if necessary) and come back in the eighth,” La Russa said. “They can both pitch the ninth, both pitch the eighth (and) the seventh.“But to me, one of the stars brighter than anybody was Reynaldo López. (To) come out there and also pitch that seventh as effectively as he did, you’ll meet no bigger star than him.”

Sports

Tampa Bay Lightning bounce back for a 6-2 win that cuts the Colorado Avalanche’s Stanley Cup Final lead to 2-1

TAMPA, Fla. — Steven Stamkos, Pat Maroon and Ondrej Palat each had a goal and an assist, and the Tampa Bay Lightning scored four times in the second period to beat the Colorado Avalanche 6-2 Monday night in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final.Anthony Cirelli, Nicholas Paul and Corey Perry also scored to help the two-time defending champion Lightning bounce back after playing poorly while losing the first two games on the road. Nikita Kucherov and Victor Hedman had two assists, and Andrei Vasilevskiy stopped 37 shots.AdvertisementStamkos, Paul, Maroon and Perry scored in the second period, when the Lightning chased Avalanche goalie Darcy Kuemper while pulling away to trim their series deficit to 2-1.Gabriel Landeskog had two goals and Mikko Rantanen had two assists for the Avalanche. Kuemper gave up five goals on 22 shots before he was replaced by Pavel Francouz, who finished with nine saves.AdvertisementGame 4 is Wednesday night at Amalie Arena, where the Lightning have won a franchise-record eight straight playoff games and where the Avalanche lost on the road for the first time this postseason.Two nights after being limited to 16 shots in a 7-0 loss in Denver, the Lightning rebounded by finally finding a way to neutralize the Avalanche’s speed and solve Kuemper to avoid falling to the brink of elimination.The defending champs became the first team since 1919 to win a Stanley Cup Final game after losing by seven-plus goals the previous game.The Avalanche lifted Kuemper after Maroon scored a soft goal that put the Lightning up 5-2 with 8:45 remaining in the second. Perry reached behind Francouz to tap in a rebound that came off the right post to make 6-2 with 5:02 left in the period.The Lightning overcame a 2-0 series deficit in the Eastern Conference finals to eliminate the New York Rangers in six games. They’re looking to do it again against the Avalanche to complete their quest for the NHL’s first three-peat in nearly 40 years.Cirelli and Palat scored in the first period for the Lightning, who played with a lot more energy than in Games 1 and 2, when they appeared to be a step or two slower than the speedy, high-scoring Avalanche.The seven-goal loss in Game 2 raised the question of whether a team that has played 68 postseason games since 2020 — the most by one team over a span of three playoffs — is running out of gas as it tries to become the first franchise to win at least three consecutive Stanley Cup titles since the New York Islanders won four in a row from 1980-83.And while coach Jon Cooper discounts the toll playing so much playoff hockey has taken on his players, the Avalanche clearly looked like the fresher team in Games 1 and 2 after going 12-2 against the Nashville Predators, St. Louis Blues and Edmonton Oilers in breezing through the first three rounds.AdvertisementSpurred on by a sellout crowd of more than 19,000 and playing with a sense of urgency absent for much of the first two games, the Lightning scored twice in a span of 1:51 to wipe out a 1-0 lead the Avalanche took on the first of Landeskog’s two power-play goals.Cirelli crossed in front of Kuemper to make it 1-1 at 13:03 of the opening period. Palat delivered his 10th goal of the playoffs off a pass from Stamkos to give the Lightning a lead for the first time in the series.Vasilevskiy yielded a second power-play goal to Landeskog, who briefly trimmed a two-goal deficit to 3-2 before the Lightning pulled away for good.After allowing the most goals he ever has given up in the playoffs in Game 2, Vasilevskiy had 13 saves in the first period, 12 in the second and 12 in the third.The Lightning became the third team in NHL history to score six goals in a Stanley Cup Final game after yielding at least seven the previous game.Both teams played without one of their top forwards.AdvertisementLightning center Brayden Point, who missed 10 games after being injured during the series-clinching victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs in the first round, was scratched after playing in Games 1 and 2 in Denver.Avalanche forwards Andre Burakovsky and Nazem Kadri sat out. Coach Jared Bednar said both are day to day.Paul scored for the Lightning after sitting out a portion of the first period with what appeared to be a right leg injury.The Avalanche entered Monday with a franchise-record seven-game postseason winning streak. The Avalanche also suffered their first road loss, dropping to 8-1. The Lightning improved to 8-1 at home this postseason.

Sports

Walks again hurt Chicago Cubs rookie Caleb Kilian in a blowout loss: ‘It’s super frustrating’

PITTSBURGH — Three starts into his big-league career, Caleb Kilian is searching for answers.For a pitcher who didn’t walk many batters in the minors since joining the Chicago Cubs organization last July, walks have plagued the rookie right-hander in his last two outings. Kilian’s big-league debut in early June provided excitement for Cubs fans who haven’t had much to cheer about this year.AdvertisementCommand problems derailed Kilian again Monday in a 12-1 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates.“It’s super frustrating, actually, because I feel like I’m digging myself in a hole with walking people and getting behind in counts,” Kilian said. “I feel like it’s not far off. I feel like it’s close. And once it clicks, it’ll be a lot better.”AdvertisementKilian surrendered seven runs (five earned) and struck out three in 2⅓ innings, hurt by five walks and shaky defense.[ [Don’t miss] Why the Cubs chose to option right-hander Adrian Sampson to Triple A after a stellar outing ]“I do best when I am aggressive or have an aggressive mindset, but I still was trying to be too fine with my misses,” Kilian said. “Instead of missing in the zone when I was missing just away earlier and then getting behind in counts, the walks — I just hurt myself, you know?”Too often Kilian threw noncompetitive pitches that were balls out of his hand.Kilian is the first Cubs pitcher to walk at least five hitters in consecutive outings since Yu Darvish in May 2019. Kilian’s issues against the Pirates felt similar to his previous start Wednesday versus the San Diego Padres, in which he surrendered five runs and five walks in four innings. “Just not like myself,” he said.Cubs starter Caleb Kilian, center, hands the ball to manager David Ross during a pitching change in the third inning Monday, June 20, 2022, in Pittsburgh. (Gene J. Puskar/AP)Before the blowout loss, Cubs manager David Ross indicated the focus between starts for Kilian was “cleaning up the consistency of his mechanics” so he could feel he’s able to move the ball in and out of the zone as he wants. Kilian mentioned doing drills that helped him get back into his legs and find better timing.“We’ve got to give this kid a little bit of runway before we start changing too many things,” Ross said. “The more information we’re able to gather at this level and what he looks like, then we’ll be able to assess and continue to work start to start.”Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.Kilian, though, couldn’t harness what he found between outings. Afterward, he wasn’t sure what led him to get out of sync against the Pirates.Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Column: From yuppies to ‘Cuppies,’ Wrigley Field bleachers are still the place to ignore the Cubs’ failures ]“If I knew I would have probably fixed it out there,” he said. “It kind of just got out of whack a little bit today and then it didn’t go too well.”The Cubs, losers in 13 of their last 16 games, can give Kilian time to work through his command issues in the majors if they want. Ross recalled former teammate Jon Lester saying a pitcher will have five really good starts, five that stink and it comes down to the other 20 starts.Only 33 of Kilian’s 66 pitches were strikes, including 14 foul balls and five balls in play that either scored a run or were not an out.The Pirates’ Bryan Reynolds scores on a wild pitch by Cubs starter Caleb Kilian (45) during the third inning Monday, June 20, 2022, in Pittsburgh. (Gene J. Puskar/AP)“I definitely would say the big leagues is different than the minor leagues for sure,” Ross said. “He’s got a long big-league career ahead of him and he’s a hard worker. He’ll go back to work.”At some point, it might pay off for Kilian to implement the adjustments at Triple A, where there is less scrutiny, but right now there is an opportunity to work hands on with pitching coach Tommy Hottovy and the big-league staff. Kilian is trying to learn as much as he can, from the trainers to the strength coaches, and soak it in.“I’ve just been picking people’s brains,” Kilian said. “Maybe I’ve got too much going on in my head at the moment, but I think in the long run it’ll pay off.”

News

Photos from Summer Smash 2022

Photos by Dylan Barnedo Since its launch as a one-day festival in 2018, Lyrical Lemonade’s Summer Smash has grown into a three-day extravaganza that can go…

Sports

Why the Chicago Cubs chose to option right-hander Adrian Sampson to Triple A after a stellar outing

PITTSBURGH — Right-hander Adrian Sampson did everything in his control to stick on the Chicago Cubs roster.Sampson impressed Sunday, shutting down the Atlanta Braves over 4⅔ innings of relief with five strikeouts, no walks and only one batter reaching base. But when the Cubs needed to remove one pitcher from their active roster by Monday’s deadline for the 13-pitcher limit, Sampson was the odd man out.AdvertisementThe rule initially was set to be implemented for the start of the season, then was pushed back twice because of the 99-day lockout’s impact on pitchers’ ability to build up.Manager David Ross described an “extremely difficult” conversation with Sampson when informing him of the decision to option him to Triple-A Iowa. Sampson is unavailable for three days because of how much he pitched Sunday, which played a part.Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Theo Epstein is leaving Chicago 2 years after leaving the Cubs. Here’s how he spent his final weekend in the city. ]“The guy goes out there and saves your bullpen, saves the team, allows us to reset the bullpen with really probably one the better performances I’ve seen him have and one of the better performances out of our bullpen,” Ross said Monday before the series opener against the Pittsburgh Pirates. “At this moment in time, we cannot afford to be short with no off days coming up. “So it’s a difficult conversation. It’s some of the worst ones I have, especially when it’s not performance-based. As bad as it stinks, he also made an impression on everybody, and when you come out and do that, the sooner you’re going to be back when you’re fresh.”The Cubs recalled outfielder Nelson Velázquez to replace Sampson and give them an equal split between pitchers and position players on the 26-man roster. Velázquez is expected to be used as a pinch hitter and could get starts against left-handers. Ross said Velázquez’s role would be similar to how Clint Frazier was used while he was on the roster.“Right now he’ll come off the bench and be a pinch hitter and an extra outfield body,” Ross said.Cubs outfielder Nelson Velázquez hits an infield single against the Brewers in his major-league debut May 30, 2022, at Wrigley Field. (Charles Rex Arbogast/AP)Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.This likely will be another short stint in the majors for Velázquez. David Bote resumed his rehab last week after bouts of dizziness put his return on pause as he works back from left shoulder surgery. Bote was off Monday and will play seven to nine innings Tuesday at Iowa.Seiya Suzuki is working out at the team’s complex in Mesa, Ariz., while the Cubs are on a seven-game trip. Ross said Suzuki’s strained left ring finger showed less swelling when Ross saw it before they parted ways ahead of the trip to Pittsburgh.The Cubs should have a better idea by the end of their four-game series against the Pirates how long Frank Schwindel could be sidelined by his low back strain. Schwindel dealt with similar back issues in the spring, so expect the Cubs to take a cautious approach and not push the first baseman to return too quickly.The Cubs can’t seem to catch a break with injuries. As of Monday, they have 13 players on the injured list. An inexperienced rotation will need to step up after the loss of the extra reliever, starting with rookie Caleb Kilian, who started Monday against the Pirates.Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Column: From yuppies to ‘Cuppies,’ Wrigley Field bleachers are still the place to ignore the Cubs’ failures ]“It’s going to be even more important that we find those guys that can get us outs out of the bullpen and keep us in games or keep us with the lead and give us multiple innings,” Ross said. “Because you’re not going to be able to use everybody every day, and we’ve got a long season and a lot of back-to-back games. Pitchers, especially the bullpen guys, get worn out.”Multi-inning arms carry added value for teams needing to cover innings out of the bullpen. Right-hander Alec Mills knows pitchers like him will become even more important as teams adjust to having one fewer pitcher on staff.“I need to be ready to go every day,” Mills told the Tribune on Monday. “With less pitchers, sometimes I need to wear a couple just so we can save the bullpen. I think we saw that, especially right when I came up almost two weeks ago now, but I needed to go out there and do it right then. The bullpen was fried, so I was happy to do it.”