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Sports

All 12 WNBA teams will have a ‘BG’ decal on their home floor to honor Brittney Griner

The WNBA will honor Phoenix Mercury center Brittney Griner with a floor decal, a person familiar with the decision told The Associated Press on Monday night.The league’s Board of Governors also approved Phoenix paying Griner’s $228,000 salary — the WNBA max — and not have it count against the Mercury’s salary cap, a different person familiar with the decision told the AP. Both people spoke on condition of anonymity because the decisions haven’t been announced publicly.AdvertisementThe All-Star center remains in Russia after being detained following her arrival at a Moscow airport on Feb. 17. Russian authorities said a search of her luggage revealed vape cartridges that allegedly contained oil derived from cannabis, which could carry a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison. She has a hearing set for May 19.Before the board’s decision, the Mercury would have been left with the decision of whether to suspend Griner without pay or keep her on the roster and have her salary count against the cap and cost the team a roster spot.AdvertisementThe decal will feature Griner’s initials “BG” as well as her No. 42. All 12 teams will have the decal on their home courts starting with the season opener Friday night. The Mercury open their season at home that night against the Las Vegas Aces.ESPN first reported the news of the decal.Commissioner Cathy Engelbert announced at the WNBA Draft that there would be a league-wide charity initiative spearheaded by the Mercury to support Griner’s philanthropic project, called BG’s Heart and Sole Shoe Drive.Griner had one of her best seasons last year — the league’s second leading scorer and sixth in rebounds to help the Mercury reach the WNBA Finals, where they lost to the Chicago Sky.

Sports

Column: Excitement, surprise, hope. The NFL draft delivered it all for the Chicago Bears.

NFL draft weekend always has been about excitement, the unbridled kind Ja’Tyre Carter felt Saturday afternoon when an unidentified number from Illinois popped up on his smartphone. Carter knew this was his life-changing moment and didn’t care that he had no clue who was talking to him when he answered.“When they were saying their name, my family was screaming so loud,” Carter said. “I couldn’t hear no names.”AdvertisementWas it Chicago Bears general manager Ryan Poles or coach Matt Eberflus? Offensive coordinator Luke Getsy or someone else?“All I heard was, ‘What would it feel like to become a Chicago Bear?’” Carter said. “I was like, ‘I’m ready! Let’s get to it!’”AdvertisementAll afternoon, the offensive lineman from Southern University had been swimming in nerves.“A lot of anxiety,” Carter said. “Scared. Just worried, thinking about what if I don’t get drafted.”[ [Don’t miss] Meet the Chicago Bears’ 11 picks from the 2022 NFL draft, from cornerback Kyler Gordon to punter Trenton Gill ]But then came that call from Halas Hall, the moment that turned the concern at Carter’s draft party into screams of delight. Suddenly, a Day 3 guard from the Football Championship Subdivision felt like he had rocket fuel pumping through his veins.“I’m going to come in and try to start,” Carter said. “I’m going to try to take a spot. I’m very competitive. When it comes to sports, I want to be the No. 1 person.”Thus began Carter’s NFL career — with a surge of eagerness and a sprint to the starting line.Carter was one of 11 players the Bears picked last weekend, with each experiencing his own nerves and, ultimately, his own exhilaration.Take, for example, fellow offensive lineman Doug Kramer, who grew up in Hinsdale with numerous Bears jerseys in his bedroom closet and a particular fondness for Brian Urlacher, Devin Hester and Olin Kreutz. Kramer was a wide-eyed 8-year old when those three players led his favorite team into Super Bowl XLI. Now he’ll be practicing on the same fields in Lake Forest where Urlacher, Hester and Kreutz came to work.From Hinsdale Central to Illinois to the Bears.Advertisement“Dream come true for sure,” Kramer said Saturday. “I don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around the fact that the Bears just took me. It’s crazy to think about.”That joy was shared a short while later by safety Elijah Hicks, who was already a (Golden) Bear at Cal and will continue his journey as a Bear in Chicago. Hicks had the hats of all 32 NFL teams nearby Saturday as he waited for his big call. But after an energizing pre-draft visit to Halas Hall earlier in the month, he said he was rooting to grab the Bears cap.[ [Don’t miss] How a flurry of trades by new GM Ryan Poles gave the Chicago Bears more swings in the NFL draft ]“Sitting down with the defensive staff and talking ball with them, I can see how much I can learn and develop,” Hicks said. “It felt really cool and I felt comfortable with everybody throughout the facility. It just felt right.”In that moment, his smile grew.“And it’s Chicago,” he added. “That’s a dope town.”Hicks was so excited that when his new employer asked him to film a short video introducing himself to Bears fans, he pretty much lost it.Advertisement“I’m so turnt up,” he said in a message posted to the Bears Twitter account. “I’m going to show up and show out! Do everything I need to do. Contribute. Safety. Defense. Special teams.”Then he dropped to the ground and started ripping off clapping push-ups.“I’m turnt!” he said. “Just know I’m coming with that energy. I’m really like that.”That kind of gusto on draft weekend always proves infectious. Now how will it translate?In due time, all 11 rookies in this Bears draft class will learn that the glowing door that opened in front of them Friday or Saturday leads directly to a scary professional tightrope that demands sharp focus and extreme steadiness to cross. All 11 are now entering a cutthroat world that will challenge them daily to keep their football dreams alive.Of the 72 players the Bears drafted from 2008 to 2017, only 16 played a fifth season with the team. Simple math suggests a vast majority of the 11 draft picks who will show up Friday for rookie camp in Lake Forest won’t be around by 2024 or 2025.AdvertisementStill, if draft weekend reminds us of anything, it’s that ambition and self-belief can provide incredible momentum.ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 17A fan attempts a field goal during an NFL draft party at Soldier Field, April 29, 2022. (John J. Kim / Chicago Tribune)NFL draft weekend always has been about surprise, the adrenalizing kind that surged through the Bears draft room a little before 6:30 p.m. Friday. That was when the coaches, scouts, front-office talent evaluators and, most important, Poles and Eberflus scanned their digital draft board and were thrilled to see Washington cornerback Kyler Gordon available.In some league circles, it was presumed Gordon might be drafted in the first round — or at least before the second round got to the Bears at No. 39. Instead fellow cornerbacks Derek Stingley, Sauce Gardner, Trent McDuffie, Kaiir Elam and Roger McCreary came off the board in front of Gordon.In the minutes before the Bears went on the clock for the first time, running back Breece Hall went to the New York Jets, followed by safety Jalen Pitre to the Houston Texans and edge rusher Arnold Ebiketie to the Atlanta Falcons.Poles looked at the matrix of names in front of him — arranged during months of evaluations, then reconfigured during candid and detailed pre-draft meetings — and realized he had a layup, staring at a player with coveted coverage skills and an opening to become a Week 1 starter.[ [Don’t miss] Chicago Bears release QB Nick Foles after being unable to find a taker for the former Super Bowl MVP ]Former Bears running back Matt Forte, with comedian Sebastian Maniscalco by his side, announced the selection from the draft stage in Las Vegas.Advertisement“All right, Bears fans. With the 39th pick in the 2022 NFL draft, the Chicago Bears select DB from Washington, Kyler Gordon.”The Bears draft room celebrated. Naturally.Poles insisted that, even when Gordon remained available during a handful of the Bears’ pre-draft simulations, he wasn’t expecting a chance to actually pick him.“We kind of laughed it off,” Poles said. “It was like, ‘There’s no way.’ … So when it actually happened it was a really cool moment.”Washington cornerback Kyler Gordon puts on a hat after being selected by the Bears during the second round of the NFL draft on April 29, 2022. (John Locher/AP)The headliner of the Bears draft class is, in the words of area scout Francis St. Paul, “an elite mover,” quick on his feet and fluid with his agility. Poles praised Gordon’s “reactive athleticism” and noted how a couple of interesting childhood pursuits had proved to be serendipitous training grounds for Gordon’s future career.Gordon was active as a kid in kung fu and more serious about competitive dance, participating in competitions all over the country. On the football field, he looks like a dancer. “You see it in his balance,” St. Paul said. “You see it in his change of direction.”AdvertisementPoles could have justified taking a receiver or an offensive lineman with his first pick as GM with the Bears trying to get quarterback Justin Fields more help. Poles had his chance Friday to take a swing at receivers John Metchie III, Wan’Dale Robinson, George Pickens or Alec Pierce.[ [Don’t miss] Column: GM Ryan Poles makes several moves on Day 3 with eyes on improving the Chicago Bears offensive line ]But …“I just think it would be a huge mistake to say, ‘Let’s just ignore that really good player over there and we’ll go over here and take someone (else) just because we need that right now,’” Poles said. “We were disciplined in following the board.”Later in Round 2, that same board led the Bears to Penn State safety Jaquan Brisker, whose disappointment that he wasn’t selected with one of the first 47 picks became the Bears’ delight.AdvertisementIn addition to Brisker’s talent, the Bears were attracted to his toughness, hunger, football acumen and team-first mentality.“Everything you’ve heard myself and Matt talk about the last few months, he has that in him,” Poles said.Another Halas Hall high-five session ensued.New Bears coach Matt Eberflus and GM Ryan Poles pose with a helmet after being introduced on Jan. 31, 2022, at Halas Hall. (Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune)NFL draft weekend always has been about optimism and hope, creating buzz inside 32 NFL buildings and convincing fans from San Francisco to New York, from Miami to Seattle that their teams are on the right path.Thus it was little surprise that Poles emerged from his first draft as GM on Saturday night with confidence the Bears had made progress. The energy within the team’s draft room convinced him.“From start to finish, with a lot of the guys we brought in, our scouts were excited, the coaches were excited, the coordinators were excited, the head coach was excited,” Poles said. “So I’m pumped about the direction this team is going.”AdvertisementWithout a first-round pick, the Bears faced a high degree of difficulty to turn this draft into something monumental. At the very least, Poles succeeded in multiplying his picks, making four trades Saturday that allowed the Bears to select 11 players rather than six.The more swings the better, right?Plus, Poles saw an opportunity to reward his scouts for their commitment. In fact, when the Bears reset their draft board for Saturday, Poles put his evaluators through an exercise.[ [Don’t miss] Chicago Bears prioritize defense, selecting Kyler Gordon and Jaquan Brisker with their first 2 NFL draft picks ]“I asked the guys to walk in front of the board with a notepad and write down three guys that they’re absolutely convicted about,” he said. “We put stars on all their tags. And we ended up with a majority of them.“Anytime someone has conviction about something it means something. They’ve spent a lot of time (on this). There’s no wavering. That was important.”In due time, it almost certainly will be proven that the Bears draft board was more of an unreliable compass than an answer key. That’s just the nature of the draft — for every GM in every organization.AdvertisementFour or five years from now, some internet genius will reorder the first couple rounds of the 2022 draft, and the revised board will look nothing like the one that came together last weekend.But why waste anxiety on that right now? Why douse the flames of hope with glum warnings?Wouldn’t it be a buzzkill to point out that Ryan Pace’s Halas Hall draft boards pointed the Bears to Mitch Trubisky over Patrick Mahomes; Adam Shaheen over George Kittle; Anthony Miller over Fred Warner; and Hroniss Grasu over Danielle Hunter? Or that in the 2014 draft, Phil Emery chose Ego Ferguson two picks ahead of Davante Adams, a year after taking Brandon Hardin over T.Y. Hilton and Josh Norman?[ [Sign up now] Get the latest Chicago sports news in your inbox each morning ]Such aggravating flashbacks are available for the 31 other teams, too, providing mountains of evidence that the draft almost always equates to a pull on the lever of an old-school Vegas slot machine. It’s full of chance, a fingers-crossed exercise in dreaming. But as those columns are spinning, grand visions are not only encouraged but inevitable.Maybe one of these 11 Bears rookies will emerge as the next star. Who knows, right?Maybe this can be the draft class that ignites the major breakthrough that propels this team back into championship contention.AdvertisementMaybe the attitude of San Diego State offensive tackle Zachary Thomas, one of the Bears’ sixth-round picks, creates exactly the kind of mentality everyone is looking for at Halas Hall.Asked Saturday what he knew about the Bears, Thomas grinned.“I know that they have the most Hall of Famers (of any NFL team),” he said. “I know they need a second (Lombardi) trophy for that trophy case they got going on.”That they do, Zachary.“I can’t wait to get to work on that,” Thomas said.From the vibe of things last weekend, he’s not alone.

Sports

Chicago Bears draft class is older with more college experience — a byproduct of COVID-19. Could it be deeper too?

Velus Jones Jr. had faced the question during the pre-draft process, so the wide receiver and return specialist from Tennessee was prepared with an answer.“Age is nothing but a number,” he said during a Zoom call with reporters after the Chicago Bears drafted him in the third round Friday night.AdvertisementJones joins the Bears with six years of college experience — four at USC and two at Tennessee. He took a redshirt year as a freshman at USC in 2016. And he took advantage when the NCAA granted players an extra year of eligibility because the 2020 season was disrupted by COVID-19.As a sixth-year senior for the Volunteers last season, he totaled a career-high 807 receiving yards, 1,722 all-purpose yards and eight touchdowns (seven receiving, one kickoff return).AdvertisementJones will turn 25 next week, making him the oldest player in the 11-man Bears draft class by a year. For comparison, wide receiver Allen Robinson was 25 in his first season with the Bears — and he already had four years in the NFL at that point.[ [Don’t miss] How a flurry of trades by new GM Ryan Poles gave the Bears more swings in the NFL draft ]But Jones pointed to his physical condition as more important than his age.“The biggest injury I ever had was a high ankle sprain,” he said. “Never tore anything, broke anything, so I have the body of, like, a 21-year-old. … A lot of people try to make it a big issue, but at the end of the day, I can play ball, I’m physical, I can run, I can make plays.”Jones is far from the only player drafted this week who had a long journey to reach the Bears.Offensive linemen Zachary Thomas and Doug Kramer will be 24 before training camp and also were in college for six years. Seven other Bears draftees were in college for five years, including Miami (Ohio) edge rusher Dominique Robinson, who will be 24 this summer, and safety Jaquan Brisker, 23, who spent two years in community college before playing three seasons at Penn State.The only player in the class who didn’t have an extended college career? Washington cornerback Kyler Gordon, who played four seasons and was the Bears’ first pick at No. 39 in the second round.[ [Don’t miss] Meet the Bears’ 11 picks from the 2022 NFL draft, from cornerback Kyler Gordon to punter Trenton Gill ]“(Drafting older players) was not intentional,” Bears general manager Ryan Poles said. “Last year after the draft, for (the undrafted free agent) process, there was like nobody. It really was kind of a deal with COVID because a lot of these players took extra years. … That’s just an effect of COVID on the draft that will linger, probably, for another year.”The COVID year didn’t affect only the Bears class. According to Defector, this year’s draft class overall was about a full year older on average than the previous five classes.AdvertisementIn a look at some of the oldest players in this year’s draft, Sports Illustrated reported there were at least 17 seventh-year seniors in FBS locker rooms in 2021. One of them was Eastern Washington offensive lineman Tristen Taylor, 25, who started college by redshirting in 2015, sat out most of 2018 with a knee injury and signed as an undrafted free agent with the Bears on Saturday night.NFL front offices and coaches obviously hope the draft class isn’t just older but also deeper in talent because of the players who put off entering the league for a year.ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 17A fan attempts a field goal during an NFL draft party at Soldier Field, April 29, 2022. (John J. Kim / Chicago Tribune)NFL Network analyst Daniel Jeremiah said before the draft that he usually struggles to find the final 40 to 50 players worthy of evaluation on a 400-player list but had no trouble this year.NBC Sports’ Peter King reported the Baltimore Ravens stockpiled middle-round picks — including six in the fourth round — because of their belief in the depth of the class. And Bears scouts echoed that sentiment as the team made eight Day 3 picks, hoping the high quantity will result in a few hits.“I didn’t think (the draft class) was that exciting at the top,” scout Jeff Shiver said after the Bears drafted Kramer on Saturday. “There’s not the movie star up there, but it just kind of blended through all the way down. Like there will be guys in the seventh round where somebody’s going to get a good steal.“Especially with all of our picks, and we have a bunch of open roster spots. … We ought to be able to track some good free agents too.”Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Bears undrafted free-agent tracker: GM Ryan Poles adds several WRs and DBs on deals or minicamp invites ]For scouts such as the Bears’ Breck Ackley, who had years of film on Baylor running back Trestan Ebner, the extra year allowed them more research to confirm their evaluations.For the players, it gave them an extra year to prepare for the NFL transition.That was the case with Robinson, who had an extra year to develop after switching from wide receiver to edge rusher in 2020. And it was the case with Jones, according to Bears scout Sam Summerville, who said he saw refinement in Jones’ game, including route running, from the start of the 2021 season to the end. He also noted Jones’ maturity.Jones was conscious of using the year to better himself.“Having that extra year to develop on everything, from being bigger, stronger, faster, football IQ, increasing on that, especially breaking down defenses,” Jones said. “God gave me another chance to do what I love, just improving myself as a player and also as a person.”As for Jones being the oldest player in the Bears class, Summerville said age can get overblown sometimes, noting all of the players come in with the same NFL experience.AdvertisementPoles also brushed off an age question.“Sure, I wish he was 19 years old, but you can’t have everything,” Poles said. “It’s just part of who he is, and we’ll just roll with it. He’s been durable, so I feel good about it.”ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 46Head coach Matt Eberflus walks the field, April 19, 2022, during Chicago Bears minicamp at Halas Hall. (Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune)

Sports

Column: It’s hard to get too excited for the return of the City Series during a gloomy Chicago spring

The City Series that begins Tuesday night at Wrigley Field matches the gloomy Chicago spring we’ve endured, with anticipation low on both sides of town.While sub-.500 teams and miserable weather have seldom dampened the atmosphere of the crosstown rivalry between the Cubs and White Sox, it’s hard to get excited for this one — especially with another soggy forecast on tap for the two-game series.AdvertisementThe series was reduced from six games to four this season, a welcome relief to many. As much as the “Crosstown” usually lives up to the hype, it’s somewhat exhausting for the players, managers, reporters and even some fans.“A two-game series is fine,” Cubs manager David Ross said Sunday. “I don’t really have an opinion either way. It’s just a fun environment when we get to play them.”AdvertisementThis season marks the 25th anniversary of interleague play, a marketing ploy MLB concocted in reaction to fan malaise after the 1994 players strike. The Cubs and Sox began with a three-game series at new Comiskey Park in June 1997. And after a three-game series at Wrigley in 1998, MLB decided to schedule home-and-home series starting in 1999.Here are five things to watch this time around.White Sox manager Tony La Russa and Cubs manager David Ross share a moment before the start of a game at Wrigley Field on Aug. 6, 2021. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)Tony La Russa and Ross are the latest managers going head to head. So far it has been one-sided, with La Russa going 5-1 against the Cubs last season.“It’s a big deal,” La Russa said Monday. “Our guys are fired up and I know the Cubs guys are fired up.”Maybe. But Cubs and Sox fans? Meh.La Russa was managing in what was then called the Windy City Classic before any of his players were born, facing off against former Cubs manager Jim Frey in the mid-1980s. It was just an exhibition game then, but Sox and Cubs fans took it seriously.The first regular-season matchup in ‘97 pitted the Sox’s Terry Bevington against Jim Riggleman. Bevington helped market the inaugural series in his own unique style of downplaying its significance.“I have a hard time believing that it’d be different than any day,” he said. “I don’t think it will be any different. Nothing is any different.”AdvertisementWrong again, Bev.Riggleman warned his players not to schmooze with the Sox before the first game, but they ignored the edict when Sox shortstop Ozzie Guillén came out and started talking.“They call me Tiger Woods,” Guillén said. “I play for fun. The money is in the bank.”Here are the best managerial matchups for creating media hype in the series:Lou Piniella vs. GuillénDusty Baker vs. GuillénBaker vs. Jerry ManuelJoe Maddon vs. Robin VenturaLa Russa vs. Frey[embedded content]Nick Madrigal said he planned to meet up with some of his former Sox teammates Monday night before the first game. He and reliever Codi Heuer are the only players still around from last year’s trade-deadline shocker between the teams.After the ill-fated experiment to use Craig Kimbrel as a setup man, the Sox dealt Kimbrel to the Los Angeles Dodgers this spring for outfielder AJ Pollock. Heuer pitched well for the Cubs last summer but underwent Tommy John surgery in March and will miss the 2022 season.AdvertisementCubs second baseman Nick Madrigal hits a sacrifice groundout during the third inning against the Rays at Wrigley Field on April 20, 2022. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)Madrigal has scuffled in his first month as a Cub. He is hitting .210 with 11 strikeouts in 62 at-bats, including five K’s in his last two games.The Cubs have struck out 27 times in their last two games — and Madrigal struck out three times Saturday in Milwaukee, chasing pitches and looking out of sync. He said Sunday he never had struck out three times in a game “my whole life.”Madrigal fanned only 24 times in 303 at-bats with the Sox in 2020 and ‘21, when Sox broadcaster Jason Benetti nicknamed him “Nicky Two Strikes.” Because he’s a singles hitter whose reputation was built on making contact, Madrigal must hit for the Cubs to make the deal work out.Also in the spotlight is David Robertson, who is not the Cubs closer but referred to himself as their late-inning “tough guy” Sunday after his fifth save. Robertson saved 84 games for the Sox from 2015-17 but wasn’t particularly effective. The 37-year-old could be a valuable trade piece for the Cubs if he remains healthy and productive in July.ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 90White Sox’s Eloy Jimenez leaves the field on a cart after falling to the turf on a groundout to the Minnesota in the second inning on April 23, 2022. (Bruce Kluckhohn / AP)One prominent player who will miss the series is Sox slugger Eloy Jiménez, who remains out of action for several more weeks after surgery on his right hamstring.AdvertisementJiménez has four home runs and eight RBIs in 30 at-bats during eight career games at Wrigley with a .1000 slugging percentage and 1.469 OPS. Overall he has hit .340 in 13 games off Cubs pitching with six homers and a 1.246 OPS, including a game-winning, broken-bat home run in 2019. Jiménez, who also is expected to miss the two games on the South Side on May 28-29, was well on his way to Carlos Lee status in the City Series. No one loved being a Cub killer like Lee, who once was asked to explain his success against the North Siders.“Destiny maybe?” Lee replied. “Go through every big-league player’s stats and everyone does good against one team. … It seems like Barry Bonds kills San Diego. I always seem to do well against the Cubs.”Paul Konerko is congratulated by Magglio Ordonez after his 2-run home run gave the White Sox a 10-8 lead over the Cubs in the 6th inning on June 28, 2002. (Scott Strazzante / Chicago Tribune)This year marks the 20th anniversary of the most memorable comeback in City Series history, which occurred on the South Side on June 28, 2002. In spite of incurring a walnut-sized bump on his head after ducking into a Kerry Wood curveball in the fourth inning, Paul Konerko finished with four hits, including two home runs, while leading the Sox back from an 8-0 deficit to win 13-9.“I think you reach a point where you get sick of being average,” Konerko said. “Pretty much for the last year and a half we’ve been mediocre.”The 2002 Sox finished 81-81, the definition of mediocrity. But they had this one — and it was a keeper. AdvertisementCubs and White Sox fans take in the scene at Wrigley Field before a game on Aug. 8, 2021. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)Shenanigans are tolerated up to a point, but beefed-up security is as much a City Series tradition as Guillén’s tales of rat sightings at Wrigley.Fan behavior was lauded after the first Cubs-Sox interleague game in 1997. Afterward, Sox security boss David Schaffer reported only two fans had been arrested and seven fans were ejected.That was the last time either team announced the number of arrests and ejections at Cubs-Sox games.Most fans are there to have fun and watch the games, but they do enjoy watching the fights. During the inaugural series, Sox Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf offered faint praise for Cubs fans.“They’re very enthusiastic fans,” he said. “Sox fans are more demanding. They’re more knowledgeable about the game. They don’t like to watch bad baseball.”Twenty-five years later, that can be said of both teams’ fans during this miserable spring of discontent.

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Young nephew’s behavior causes concern

Dear Amy: I’m a clueless aunt looking for some advice.My little nephew (age 4 1/2) is very smart, but seems dysregulated quite often.AdvertisementHe often runs around in small circles for about 10 minutes screaming, and can only focus for very short amounts of times, avoids eye contact, and often does not respond when spoken to directly.We recently had a situation where his older sister (age 6) built a fort out of blankets when she wanted/needed some quiet time, and she was very happy while building it.AdvertisementThe little one then, of course, “wanted in” on the fort, did not want to build his own, but then stepped over the boundaries he’d promised to keep just one minute earlier.He didn’t seem to remember what he had just promised, which of course then made his sister upset, so that, after much back and forth, she ended up crying, too.He then threw a fit, as he often does.I cannot talk to his parents about the possible need for therapeutic help, as they don’t want to address this, and everyone is just helpless.His mother has a lot of issues and feels like she is under a lot of stress, but she is also not open to doing therapy, or any other kind of self-care, other than stress-eating.I apologize if this sounds so uninformed, and I am grateful for any advice or input.– Clueless AuntDear Aunt: I am not qualified to diagnose any particular issue with your nephew, although some of what you describe would be familiar to a person on the autism spectrum.AdvertisementYour nephew’s behavior could also be explained by many other factors and dynamics in his household, including his diet, sleep schedule, as well as the inconsistent direction he might be receiving by a stressed and tired parent.If your nephew is 4 1/2, I’m assuming that he has not had any consistent in-person schooling yet. The pandemic has interrupted so many childhoods, and this little guy’s life could be transformed by regular contact with other children his age, as well as skilled teachers who would help to guide him – and his parents.Most of us learn by trial and error, and your nephew might be exiting a stage where tantrums “worked” for him. Early childhood education is vital in guiding children toward pro-social behavior.You could help by taking him to the playground for lots of fresh air and exercise, introducing him to the wonderful world of bugs, dinosaurs, and building things with blocks and LEGOS. You would learn more about him by spending one-on-one time with him, listening to him, reading together, and encouraging him to explore in his own way, without too much judgment or correction from you (unless he is hurting himself or another child).Your concern and willingness to stand up for this child is commendable. Your dig at this mother for her own lack of self-care is not.Dear Amy: I have a large group of friends. We all have kids between the ages of 18 and 30 that technically still live at home for financial reasons. They are either in college or out in the work field.AdvertisementOur friends’ adult children stay out several nights a week and sleep at their partners’ homes – and all of them are still living at home with their parents.No one in our friend-group allows this at our homes, but our kids say that we’re old school and that everyone does it.There seem to be a lot of parents out there that allow this, but our group agrees it doesn’t feel right to shack up in your girlfriends’ or boyfriends’ childhood bedroom, having sex with the parents next door.What is your opinion?– Old-school MomsDear Old School: Whenever I hear the phrase “shacking up,” I know someone has been listening to Dr. Laura.AdvertisementMy attitude toward this depends on the situation. If an adult child is in a long-term relationship and I know their partner, I welcome the partner to visit, and they can sleep wherever they like.However, one surefire way to coax an adult toward independent living is to limit their friends’ access to the bedroom and refrigerator.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: “Mourning in Montana” was a woman whose husband of 46 years abruptly told her he was leaving her.I thought your advice to her was compassionate and helpful, but you may have missed something: this man could be experiencing the early signs of dementia.– ConcernedDear Concerned: Several readers raised this possibility.AdvertisementGot a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.