Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Single mom wrestles with tough choices

Dear Amy: I am a 32-year-old woman with a 6-year-old son.I am in a relationship with “Larry,” who is 48. He is not my child’s father.AdvertisementBefore meeting Larry, I lived alone and raised my son by myself.After losing my job, my son and I moved in with my folks. We were financially dependent on them. Over the course of a year I looked for work, but couldn’t find a decent-paying job that conformed with my son’s school hours.AdvertisementI felt I became a burden to my parents financially. They scrambled to get my son from school while I was at work.During that time, I was dating Larry and decided to move in with him.I knew it was a mistake fairly quickly. We just aren’t compatible.I feel like I’ve become stuck.Now I’m working at a good job, and I know I can afford to be on my own. I hate to seem selfish and leave, but I’m not happy.I don’t blame Larry. I know I have personal issues to work on, but I know being on my own would be best for me and my child.The only thing is that I would need my family to help with some childcare (my child’s father isn’t around). At times it seems my family gets tired of helping out.I know that if I stay with Larry, he will help with my son’s school drop-off and pickup, and with other miscellaneous things.AdvertisementDo I leave Larry, suck it up, and ask for my family’s help again, or should I stay in this relationship?I’m really torn. I just want to do what’s best for my son.– Confused in TexasDear Confused: Your question illustrates how childcare lies at the heart of concerns for all single parents.You mention two things about “Larry”: His age, and his ability to help with your son. He likely deserves to have a partner who genuinely wants to be with him.I can’t speak for your parents, but I do believe that most parents, given the option, would rather provide some childcare for their grandson than have their daughter dependent on her much-older partner to do it.AdvertisementYou should check with your son’s school and enroll him in after-school care, if at all possible. This sort of lower-cost program has been a Godsend for hard-working parents.Talk with your parents very frankly about your needs. You should do everything possible to lessen any imposition on them.I can speak for all parents here: We want for our children to demonstrate that they are moving forward. A good job, decent housing, stable schooling for your son: these are all signs that you are making progress. Keep going.Dear Amy: When I was a teenager, I self-harmed and as a result have visible marks on one of my arms. These are left over from that time when I deliberately cut myself.I often forget that these scars are there, and most people don’t say anything about them, except for children.On several occasions, young kids have asked me what’s on my arm (the skin is raised and looks odd).AdvertisementOver the years I have alternated between outright lies (I had an accident!), saying it’s personal, or evading/changing the subject.It just makes me feel so awkward. Is there a better way to handle this?– LDear L: I’m so glad you are healing from that very tough time in your life.I say – own your scars. They are tangible evidence of your growth and survival.You can tell a child, truthfully, “Those are scars. That’s what your body does when it heals over a cut. The skin comes together and sometimes it leaves a mark. And those marks are there because I hurt myself when I was younger, but now it doesn’t hurt at all.”AdvertisementIf a child probes further, you can say, “Well, that’s sort of personal, and I don’t really want to talk about it, but I’m just glad I’m not hurt anymore.”Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: Your response to “Snacked” bordered on insulting. Because a grandfather was giving his grandchild cookies, you suggested he might steer the child “…toward less benign choices.” Like what? No car seat, foul language, drugs!Most of us grandparents are able to make the distinction between cookies, and much more dangerous choices. How dare you! Your contemptuous, suspicious tone toward this Grandpa was obvious and offensive.– UpsetDear Upset: I was exaggerating for effect. Unfortunately, it seems to have worked.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.AdvertisementSign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

Nico Hoerner suffers a sprained right ankle in a collision with an umpire during the Chicago Cubs’ 7-5 win

SAN DIEGO — Fourteen miles south of Alfonso Rivas’ hometown, the Chicago Cubs needed a clutch hit from the 25-year-old first baseman.If Rivas felt any pressure this week playing in front of family and friends at Petco Park, he certainly didn’t show it.AdvertisementOne day after connecting on a two-run homer, Rivas had an opportunity to salvage a victory for the Cubs in Wednesday’s series final after the bullpen squandered a late lead. Rivas hit a two-run single with the bases loaded in the eighth inning to break the tie. Right-hander Rowan Wick’s two-inning save secured the Cubs’ 7-5 win.The Cubs took two of three in San Diego for their first series win since opening weekend against the Milwaukee Brewers. Manager David Ross lauded Rivas’ approach.Advertisement“He’s really handling the moment well,” Ross said. “He’s got such a calm demeanor about him and that’s why he looks so smooth at first and in the box. There’s not a lot to his swing. He’s just trying to put the barrel on the ball.”The Cubs, however, can’t seem to avoid injuries lately. Left-handed reliever Sean Newcomb on Wednesday became the 13th player on the injured list with a left ankle sprain suffered in the outfield Sunday during batting practice. Losing shortstop Nico Hoerner for any notable time would be tough to overcome, especially defensively. Hoerner was diagnosed with a right ankle sprain after exiting the game in the bottom of the second inning. Initial imaging didn’t reveal any broken bones, though the swelling around his ankle must decrease before the Cubs can determine the severity. Ross believes Hoerner will be OK after a couple of days off.Hoerner collided with second-base umpire Dan Iassogna in shallow right-center field during Jurickson Profar’s triple in the first inning.Cubs shortstop Nico Hoerner, center, walks with a trainer after colliding with umpire Dan Iassogna, right, during the first inning of a game against the Padres on Wednesday at Petco Park in San Diego. (Gregory Bull / AP)Hoerner, shifted in shallow right for the at-bat, started running to his position as the cutoff man while Iassogna began moving toward shallow center to get a clearer view of Jason Heyward’s play on the ball. Iassogna and Hoerner never saw each other while watching the ball, resulting in their feet getting tangled and knocking both to the ground.Via a pool reporter, Iassogna said his collision with Hoerner was the first time that occurred in the outfield during his career. Iassogna’s assignment as the second-base umpire requires him to go out toward the ball so he can determine whether it’s a catch, home run or anything in between.He spoke with Ross to see how Hoerner was doing and planned to check on him after the game. Iassogna hopes Hoerner won’t land on the injured list because of the play.“I’m always trying to do the same thing. I’m seeing the ball and trying to pick up the fielder,” Iassogna said. “When I made my initial look I didn’t see anybody. I thought I had an open road and then we backed into each other.Advertisement“I didn’t know who it was or what happened until I looked down and saw it was him.”Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.Hoerner initially remained in the game, striking out in the top of the second. Ildemaro Vargas replaced him when the Cubs returned to the field for the bottom of the inning. When the injury occurred, Hoerner initially wasn’t optimistic, but he felt better after getting treatment on the ankle during the game.“In the shift and things like that sometimes we’re in different places than people are used to,” Hoerner said. “I was watching the ball just like the umpire was and I was on the ground before I really realized what happened. We’re doing our jobs and weird things happen sometimes.”Willson Contreras’ strong start continued with an opposite-field solo home run in the first inning. The Cubs tacked on four runs in the third thanks to Patrick Wisdom (RBI single), Frank Schwindel (two-run double to cap an 11-pitch at-bat) and Jason Heyward (RBI single) coming through with runners on base against Padres starter Nick Martinez.Home runs by Eric Hosmer and Luke Voit, the latter’s second of the game, in seventh set up the need for Rivas’ big hit the next inning.“You have a plan, you have an approach and stick to that, don’t really freak out or anything that,” Rivas said. “That’s what I was really trying to hammer down, and I got a good pitch to hit.”AdvertisementKeegan Thompson received the phone call around 11 p.m. Tuesday to learn he was getting the start for the Cubs bullpen game. He stuck to his typical warmup routine, not wanting to deviate from what has been working for him. Thompson held the Padres to two runs in four innings.“I started with the same mindset as a bullpen outing,” Thompson said. “I don’t want to change something up today for one outing.”

Sports

Chicago Sky rout the New York Liberty by 33 points for their 1st win of the season

Dana Evans scored 15 points, Rebekah Gardner added 14 and the Chicago Sky cruised past the New York Liberty 83-50 on Wednesday night at Wintrust Arena.The Sky led 36-17 at halftime after holding the Liberty to 20% shooting, including 1 of 12 from 3-point range. It was the lowest point total in a half since the Connecticut Sun had 15 on Sept. 1, 2015.AdvertisementThe Sky opened the third quarter with a 13-4 run to take a 28-point lead at 49-21, and the Liberty reached 50 points on Jocelyn Willoughby’s layup with 20.2 seconds left in the game.Candace Parker added 11 points and Emma Meesseman scored 10 for the defendingchampion Sky (1-1). Parker and Meesseman each had six rebounds and four assists.AdvertisementThe Sky were 10 of 22 from 3-point range, with three apiece from Evans and Parker, while the Liberty were just 20 of 60 from the field.Han Xu, the tallest player in the WNBA at 6-foot-10, scored 10 points for the Liberty (1-1). Natasha Howard and Betnijah Laney each scored eight points, and Stefanie Dolson scored six against her former team. Sabrina Ionescu was held to two points.ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 21Chicago Sky forward Candace Parker (3), center, hugs a Los Angeles Sparks coach after a 98-91 overtime loss to the Sparks at Wintrust Arena on May 6, 2022, in Chicago. (John J. Kim/Chicago Tribune)ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 21Coach James Wade with Candace Parker, Courtney Vandersloot, Azura Stevens, Allie Quigley and Emma Meesseman at Chicago Sky media day on May 3, 2022. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune)ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 23Chicago Sky players, including MVP Kahleah Copper, celebrate after winning the WNBA championship on Oct. 17, 2021, at Wintrust Arena. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune)

Sports

Seiya Suzuki and Yu Darvish share a special moment before the Chicago Cubs-San Diego Padres game

SAN DIEGO — For a moment Wednesday morning at Petco Park, Chicago Cubs right fielder Seiya Suzuki gave a glimpse of how he might have looked wearing a different major-league jersey.Suzuki met San Diego Padres and former Cubs pitcher Yu Darvish behind the plate to exchange jerseys, both signing theirs for the keepsake. At one point, Suzuki held up Darvish’s white pinstriped jersey against him — a visual of an alternate outcome had Suzuki chosen to sign with the Padres over the Cubs.AdvertisementWednesday’s pregame jersey exchange before the Cubs’ 7-5 win — they took two of three for their first series victory since the opening weekend of the season — followed an on-field chat between the Japanese stars during batting practice.Cubs right fielder Seiya Suzuki, left, and San Diego Padres pitcher Yu Darvish exchange jerseys before a game Wednesday at Petco Park in San Diego. (Meghan Montemurro / Chicago Tribune)The sunny, mid-60s weather gave Darvish a trash-talking opportunity he wasn’t going to pass up. The three-game series was among the best outdoor environment the Cubs have played in the last five weeks, especially compared with the cold, rainy elements they’ve endured too often at Wrigley Field.AdvertisementDarvish couldn’t help but joke about it with Suzuki.“Hey, do you like the warm weather here?” Darvish playfully asked him Monday.Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.Suzuki has not seen Darvish pitch in person, limited to watching his starts on TV. He’s looking forward to when that day comes. Suzuki might not have to wait much longer. The Cubs just missed facing Darvish this week in San Diego. The right-hander makes his next start Friday in Atlanta following the Padres’ off day Thursday.If the Padres don’t change the rotation order and he remains on a five-day schedule, Darvish should face the Cubs at Wrigley Field during a four-game series June 13-16.“I want to make sure I could get a hit off him,” Suzuki said, smiling, through interpreter Toy Matsushita. “Because at this moment, he’s going to get me out.”Darvish told Suzuki before Monday’s series opener that he would like to play on the same team together if there someday is a chance for that to happen. He could have pushed harder for Suzuki to sign with the Padres, but Darvish helped lead the right fielder to Chicago. Darvish spoke positively of his three seasons (2018-20) with the Cubs when the two met March 11 in San Diego before Darvish left to report to spring training in Arizona.ExpandAutoplayImage 1 of 35Seiya Suzuki celebrates in the Cubs dugout after hitting a three-run home run during the first inning of the game against the Brewers at Wrigley Field on April 10, 2022. (Erin Hooley / Chicago Tribune)After Suzuki signed a five-year, $85 million contract with the Cubs in March, Joel Wolfe of Wasserman, who represents both players, recalled Darvish’s message to Suzuki centered on wanting the best for him, even if that meant they wouldn’t be teammates.Suzuki did not start for a second consecutive game because of right ankle soreness suffered in Monday’s game. Although they didn’t face each other during the three-game series at Petco Park, Suzuki clearly got a kick out of sharing a major-league field with Darvish.Advertisement“He’s a good influence on me, and I feel that he’s like a superstar — just the fact that he knows me is something that I’m very honored for,” Suzuki said. “At this point, it’s a learning process for me. So I want to experience it and then learn it from my own mindset. But if there is something that concerns me or that I want to ask Yu, then I would ask him.”