Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Donor-conceived children should be told

Dear Amy: I have read advice in your column suggesting that it is wisest to tell children about their adoption starting very young.My six-year-old twin grandchildren have never been told that their momma’s eggs came from an egg donor.AdvertisementThe parents are now divorced but are very friendly.Should they tell the kids?AdvertisementTheir momma carried them and gave birth to them.– WonderingDear Wondering: As with children who join their families through adoption, parents should also tell children who were conceived through donation their true birth story – ideally starting when the children are pre-verbal.This gives parents lots of practice in telling the story, and normalizes it for everyone.What parents should NOT do is treat this as a mystery or a family secret. Families are made in many different ways, and children are capable of understanding this because they see it in their own world.Kids notice that not all families are the same. For instance, your grandkids’ folks are divorced – but the parents and kids are still in a family together. They are also quite curious about their own origin story.Not knowing the truth and then finding out later can prove genuinely traumatic for people – who upon learning that their birth is the result of sperm or egg donation can struggle understanding their true identity and wonder why nobody ever told them the story surrounding their conception and birth.Another reason for parents to tell – and retell – this story is that in this day of easy DNA testing (and certainly in the future), all children will eventually have access to this knowledge when they are older.AdvertisementBecause these parents are divorced, they should both talk to the twins about the very happy way they came into the world. They should answer all questions as they arise. Even though some donor-conceived people eventually meet their biological relations, they know their parents are the people who raised them.There are a number of charming children’s books describing this process in age-appropriate ways.One I like is, “The Pea that was Me: An Egg-Donation Story,” by Kimberly Kluger-Bell (2012, CreateSpace Independent).Dear Amy: My wife and I have two young children. One is in pre-school and the other is in first grade. My wife and I both work.I recently found a basketball league of other dads that I’d like to join. The games are one evening a week.I haven’t approached my wife about doing this, but honestly – I’m nervous about it. She works really hard, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m abandoning her.AdvertisementMaybe I should just wait until the kids are older.What do you think?– Nervous DadDear Dad: Take it from me – if “wait until the kids are older” is your primary strategy for tackling life, you will never leave the house again.Parenting younger children is often about divide and conquer.You and your wife should both find something besides work (and outside the home) that engages, invigorates, and connects you with other adults.AdvertisementYou should approach her with the idea that if she can hold down the fort one weeknight, you will take another night (or a weekend morning).If your wife is overwhelmed by this idea, you might be able to find a pickup game on a Saturday or Sunday, and either take the kids with you, or engage someone to play with the kids while you are playing with the dads.Dear Amy: Your recent response to a letter from “Feeling Guilty,” which concerned salary discussions and disclosure of compensation in the workplace was woefully incomplete.Companies may have a policy against salary discussions or at least a culture of non-disclosure.Just because salary discussions are protected by law does not mean that such conversations are appropriate. There are legitimate reasons why salary increases are provided for some but not others.If the letter writer shares this personal information in an effort to help the co-worker, it may backfire and damage the letter writer’s career.AdvertisementAsk AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.– DisappointedDear Disappointed: In my (admittedly limited) experience, most companies have a “culture of non-disclosure.” That’s because it is in the company’s interest for co-workers to keep their compensation a secret.“Feeling Guilty” reported that her colleague confided that she (the colleague) hadn’t received a raise during her entire 10-year career with the company.Feeling Guilty, who had received several raises, could encourage her colleague to look for another job by stating that others have received raises, without disclosing specifics.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Advertisement©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

Willson Contreras’ 1st-inning grand slam — his 100th career home run — sparks the Chicago Cubs’ 9-0 win

Willson Contreras started getting emotional in the dugout after he crushed a first-inning grand slam Monday night.The slam punctuated an eight-run first inning against the Pittsburgh Pirates, all the offense the Chicago Cubs needed in a 9-0 win at Wrigley Field. Left-hander Wade Miley locked down the Pirates lineup, tossing seven scoreless innings and allowing just one baserunner for the Cubs’ third straight victory.AdvertisementContreras’ fourth career grand slam was bigger than what it meant within the context of the game. It was the 100th home run of Contreras’ career, a milestone that prompted emotional thoughts in the dugout of the Venezuelan native’s winding baseball journey.“The whole thing that I went through in the minors came to mind,” Contreras said. “I mean, the road is not easy, but if you put the right work in, you might get there. Today is one of those days that made me think of my childhood, where I came from. It makes me proud.”Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Willson Contreras’ hot start for the Cubs is rooted in his approach: ‘One of the most talented hitters I’ve ever been around’ ]Contreras jumped a first-pitch hanging curveball from Pirates right-hander Bryse Wilson for the 422-foot grand slam. After the game, he received his 100th home run ball from the fan who caught it, exchanging a couple of balls and a bat and taking some photos with the fan.Contreras plans to give the memento to his dad, Wuiliam.“He knows how hard we work to get to the big leagues and there was a lot of calls during the minor leagues, a lot of frustration, a lot of obstacles that were in my road,” Contreras said. “But he was a support. He and my mom (Olga) were there all the time and this is for them.”Contreras’ 100th home run was notable on multiple levels:He became the third Cubs catcher to reach the mark, joining Gabby Hartnett (231 homers) and Jody Davis (122).According to Elias Sports Bureau, Contreras — who led off the first with a double — is the first Cub with a grand slam and an extra-base hit in the same inning since Wildfire Schulte on Aug. 16, 1911.Contreras is one of just 10 leadoff hitters since 1901 with a first-inning grand slam. George Springer, in 2016 for the Houston Astros, is the only other player to accomplish the feat in the last 35 years.“Unbelievable, man,” catcher Yan Gomes said. “He’s probably one of the better players in this game, and you can see when he gets hot, it’s not just like a couple of base hits. It’s like there’s no stadium that can hold him. So it’s nice to have him on our side.”Cubs DH Willson Contreras sits in the dugout during the eighth inning Monday, May 16, 2022, at Wrigley Field. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)The Cubs sent 13 batters to the plate in the first with three of their eight hits going for extra bases. Ian Happ, Gomes, Andrelton Simmons and Rafael Ortega each recorded an RBI before Contreras’ grand slam.Watching Contreras’ special moment reminded manager David Ross of his 100th career home run, which he hit in 2016 at Wrigley during the last of his 15 big-league seasons. Ross laughed when noting how it took him a lot longer to hit the mark than Contreras, who just turned 30 in his seventh season.“He’s got to do a lot of cool things early on in his career, and it’s why he’s such a special player,” Ross said.Advertisement[ [Don’t miss] Drew Smyly reaches 10 years of MLB service time — something the Cubs pitcher doesn’t take lightly ]Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.Miley didn’t need any more offensive support after the eight-run first. He utilized his natural quick pace and an aggressive approach that allowed him to rack up outs with an efficient pitch count.Miley tallied six strikeouts and didn’t walk a batter after issuing five walks in three innings during his season debut Tuesday in San Diego.“I mean, guys know what I’m going to do,” Miley said. “I’m going to throw stuff in hard and soft away. But I have to be able to command it.”Fans applaud as Cubs DH Willson Contreras walks through the dugout after the 9-0 victory over the Pirates on Monday, May 16, 2022, at Wrigley Field. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)Miley’s lone baserunner came on Michael Chavis’ two-out single in the fifth. Cubs fans booed Chavis as he reached first base after he stepped out of the box twice during the at-bat. The second time call frustrated Miley because he was already going into his delivery when plate umpire Dan Bellino stopped him to award Chavis’ request.The Pirates second baseman hit the next pitch into left to end Miley’s perfect game.“The second one was a little late,” Miley said. “I’m already in my leg kick when I hear (Bellino) start screaming. You don’t have to give him time, so I was just letting Dan know that I understand they call time a lot but you don’t have to give it to him.Advertisement“I‘m working quick, I’m coming at you, and if you want to step out, step out — I’m going to keep doing it, I don’t really care.”

Sports

Anthony Rizzo is third Yankee slugger to hit double-digit homers in 2022

BALTIMORE — With his ninth-inning home run, Anthony Rizzo joined Aaron Judge (12) and Giancarlo Stanton (10) with double-digit home runs. Amazingly, it is the first time in Yankees history that they have had three players with 10 or more home runs within the first 35 games.It took a while for Rizzo to get there. He had not hit a home run since April 29 in Kansas City — until he hit his 10th of the season in the ninth inning.Advertisement“It’s definitely just part of the season where you put in the work and you don’t necessarily get the results. So it’s definitely a battle, but usually you get into ruts like that and one swing like that could definitely help,” Rizzo said of his homer. “I feel like yesterday was a lot closer, even some of the outs today didn’t necessarily look too good, but felt better so we just gotta keep going every day and you know once we can just switch it all.”Anthony Rizzo celebrates his ninth-inning homer Monday night. (Nick Wass/AP)Overall, Rizzo’s lefty bat has been a big contributor to the Yankees lineup this season. Rizzo is hitting .224/.3336/.520 with nine home runs, an .856 OPS.

Sports

Andrelton Simmons’ return provides the Chicago Cubs a timely boost with shortstop Nico Hoerner on the injured list

Andrelton Simmons’ return to the Chicago Cubs couldn’t have come at a better time.Simmons endured a frustrating rehab from right shoulder soreness, something he never had experienced in his 11-year big-league career before it sidelined him during spring training.AdvertisementBut with second baseman Nick Madrigal already on the injured list, shortstop Nico Hoerner’s move to the IL on Sunday struck a big blow to the Cubs’ middle infield depth while costing them one of their best defensive players.The Cubs activated Simmons from the IL as the corresponding move Sunday, and he entered as a defensive replacement at shortstop in the ninth inning and recorded the final out against the Arizona Diamondbacks.AdvertisementSimmons — who started at short in Monday’s series opener against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Wrigley Field — indicated his shoulder feels pretty good but still has room to improve.Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.He didn’t need to wait long to collect his first hit as a Cub. With the bases loaded in the first inning, Simmons hit a soft roller down the third-base line that slowed to a stop halfway to the base without a play being made. The two-out RBI infield single was part of an eight-run first against the Pirates.Cubs shortstop Andrelton Simmons hits an RBI infield single during the first inning at Wrigley Field on Monday, May 16, 2022. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)Hoerner’s stellar play at shortstop allowed Simmons to take the proper time to build up his shoulder and not feel pressured to join the Cubs before he was fully ready.“He was holding (it down), so I’m like, all right, I’ve got some room to improve,” Simmons said. “Do I jump back in or do I try to keep getting better, as good as I can, so I’m close to my best?“(The trainers) had my back the whole time. They made extra time for me and all that. So they want me out there. They’re doing everything to keep me on the field.”Simmons was a little discouraged by how long the shoulder soreness lingered, but he’s happy to finally be around his teammates. All of his 1,190 major-league games in the field have come at shortstop, though he’s willing to play second base if needed.Simmons likely will receive the bulk of playing time at shortstop for however long Hoerner is sidelined.“I mean, I want to help the team any way I can,” Simmons said. “I know short is always going to be my forte, but Nico has been playing pretty good. So whatever they need, I’m here to help.”