Author: staff

Lifestyle

Ask Amy: Group chat leads to group dilemma

Dear Amy: My friend “Jane” recently texted our group of girlfriends with information concerning another girlfriend, “Maggie.”Jane told us all that she was using a social media dating app while out of town for business and Maggie’s husband “Jed” (also out of town for business) “swiped right” on Jane.AdvertisementThe screenshots she shared with us showed that he had set up his profile to appear single.Jane asked for advice on what to do with this. We have long suspected Jed was no good, but we also acknowledge this couple could have an open relationship.AdvertisementEither way, we felt it best that Maggie have the information.Jane and I don’t know Maggie well, but another woman in the group, “Susan,” does.Susan agreed to pass this information on to Maggie discreetly and tactfully. Unfortunately, it’s been months, and we just learned that Susan never told Maggie because it makes her uncomfortable.My husband, also close with Maggie, then said that he would tell her instead.He also hasn’t followed through, citing the same reason.I went back to the source and asked Jane to notify Maggie, and she also declined, saying it “wasn’t her place.”I am starting to get antsy knowing this information is in everyone’s head except Maggie’s! I feel terrible for her. I feel wrong stepping in but I just feel she needs the information.Do I drop it? Is it out of line to send an anonymous letter or something?AdvertisementI don’t want to cause more drama or confusion, only inform.– FrettingDear Fretting: My first piece of advice is that you should all stop discussing this as a group. This has descended into the realm of personal gossip.The obvious solution would have been for “Jane” to respond to “Jed’s” swipe, saying, “Dude, I know your wife!”Otherwise, all you know is that this man is posing as an unmarried man and “swiping right” while out of town. While I agree that this is dishonest and definitely a violation of most relationship norms – this is all you know.You might be the right person to put this to rest, because you don’t have an extant relationship to protect, and it is obviously bothering you.AdvertisementIf you decide to contact her, you should only tell her, “A single woman I know saw ‘Jed’s’ profile on a dating app. I don’t know anything more than that, but after wrestling with this dilemma, I’ve decided to tell you.”Otherwise – drop it.Dear Amy: My niece (the youngest) is getting married in far northern Minnesota at a luxurious location. I live in the Southwest.My brother (her dad) just sent me an email telling me that his wife is very upset that I am not planning to attend. He stated that he had hoped one person from our side of the family would be there.I live 1,000 miles away and work full time. I cannot afford airfare – or gas and hotel expenses – nor can I take that much time away from work.In addition, it would not be wise to drive that distance alone!AdvertisementMy two older brothers (one of which is the bride’s dad) are retired and have excessive incomes.Should I consider asking them for the funds, so I might possibly be there to represent the family?– A Sister in a Quandary!Dear Sister: In addition to the father of the bride, you have another brother who might be able to represent your side of the family.You have lined up a list of reasons why you cannot attend this wedding. (Either you can get the time off from work, or you can’t.)If you want to attend, you should respond honestly: “I would really like to be there, but honestly I just cannot afford the expense. I’m really sorry.”AdvertisementYour brothers might offer to finance this trip. If so, I hope you’ll go.Dear Amy: I’m appalled by your response to “Stressed in the West,” asking about wedding invitations to her cousins who have expressed racist opinions and used racist slurs.Racists are not “bozos.” They are hateful, ignorant and dangerous people.Ask AmyDailyNo-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.The accommodating view you express contributes to the ongoing crisis in the U.S. Racism in all forms should not be tolerated.Yes, the decision is for the couple to make, but the bride’s parents can make it very clear that they stand 100 percent behind their decision not to invite racists to their wedding.– LizAdvertisementDear Liz: My mistake. These cousins as described were not only “bozos.” There were racist bozos.Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.©2021 Amy Dickinson.

Sports

After losing lead and rallying, Chicago White Sox outlast Toronto Blue Jays in 12 innings for ‘a very special win’

A brilliant outing by Chicago White Sox starter Dylan Cease went to waste Tuesday when the bullpen coughed up a late lead, but the Sox rallied three times for a 7-6, 12-inning victory over the Toronto Blue Jays.After being no-hit by Cease through five innings and shut out through six, the Blue Jays came back to take the lead with a three-run eighth, only to watch the Sox tie it in the ninth on Luis Robert’s two-out, two-run single off Jordan Romano.AdvertisementFrom there the game became a pingpong match with spikes.Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s RBI double off Kendall Graveman in the 10th was matched by Danny Mednick’s bases-loaded single in the bottom of the inning.AdvertisementRaimel Tapia drove in a run off Vince Velasquez in the 11th before Robert’s sacrifice fly off Matt Gage tied it in the bottom of the inning.Velasquez held the Jays scoreless in the 12th, and Josh Harrison’s two-out RBI single off Gage won it, setting off fireworks.The game lasted 4 hours, 23 minutes.“We kept battling until we got a win,” Sox manager Tony La Russa said. “It’s a very special win.”At the end of the night, the Sox were at .500 again, 3½ games behind the Minnesota Twins and Cleveland Guardians, who moved into a first-place tie. The Sox and Blue Jays will play again Wednesday afternoon in the series finale, with Lucas Giolito starting for the Sox.Cease left with a 2-0 lead after six innings, dominating from the outset. He struck out the first five batters and the final two he faced, tying a career high with 11 strikeouts, all coming on sliders. He didn’t allow a hit until Lourdes Gurriel Jr.’s infield single leading off the sixth, and he walked two.But the bullpen failed to get Cease his win, as La Russa went with Jimmy Lambert and Davis Martin in high-leverage situations. Alejandro Kirk’s solo home run off Lambert in the seventh sliced the Jays deficit in half before Martin gave up the lead in the eighth. After a walk and infield hit put two men on, the runners were bunted over for pinch hitter Cavan Biggio, who lofted a pop-up behind second base. Shortstop Tim Anderson was in position for the catch but couldn’t turn around in time to find the ball, which dropped for a hit to tie the game at 2-2.AdvertisementBo Bichette followed with a grounder to short and reached when Biggio beat Anderson’s throw to second as Gurriel came around with the go-ahead run. After another walk to Guerrero, Martin was lifted for Jose Ruiz, who walked Kirk to force home another run.The Sox staged a two-out rally in the ninth, ignited by Anderson’s walk and Andrew Vaughn’s double. Robert’s opposite-field single brought home the tying runs as the remnants of the crowd of 20,529 went wild.José Abreu followed with a single, but Bradley Zimmer’s diving catch of AJ Pollock’s liner sent the game into extra innings.And that’s when things got wild, overshadowing Cease’s outing.

Sports

Chicago Sky post the biggest comeback in WNBA history, erasing a 28-point deficit in a 104-95 win in Las Vegas

LAS VEGAS — Courtney Vandersloot scored 25 points and the Chicago Sky completed the biggest comeback in WNBA history, rallying from 28 down to beat the Las Vegas Aces 104-95 on Tuesday night.The previous record was a 25-point rally most recently done in 2013 by the Sky.AdvertisementLas Vegas shot 63% from the field in the first quarter and scored 41 points to set a franchise record for points in a quarter. But the Sky outscored the Aces 59-25 after falling behind by 28 to enter the fourth quarter with a lead.The Sky went on an 18-0 run in the third quarter to take their first lead at 67-66 since it was 4-2.AdvertisementCandace Parker added 17 points and 10 rebounds, and Azurá Stevens and Emma Meesseman also scored 17 points apiece for the Sky (11-5).Sky forward Candace Parker, center, battles for the ball with Aces forward Dearica Hamby (5) and guard Chelsea Gray, right, during the first half Tuesday, June 21, 2022, in Las Vegas. (John Locher/AP)The win means the teams split their head-to-head meetings, so home court for the WNBA Commissioner’s Cup championship game will come down to the second tiebreaker. That’s point differential in the cup games, and the Aces have a huge lead over the Sky with two games to play.Jackie Young scored 23 points and Kelsey Plum had 22 points and eight assists for Las Vegas (13-3).Young sank a 3-pointer to cap the Aces’ 23-0 run for a 25-4 lead, and Aisha Sheppard beat the first-quarter buzzer with another 3-pointer. Las Vegas led 62-51 at the break behind Dearica Hamby’s 15 points. Chelsea Gray was the only Las Vegas starter not in double figures by halftime, and she had six assists.

Sports

Why the Chicago Cubs optioned Caleb Kilian to Triple A instead of letting him work through his struggles

PITTSBURGH — The Chicago Cubs seemed prepared to let rookie Caleb Kilian work through his struggles in the majors.Before Kilian got roughed up in Monday’s loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates, manager David Ross touted the value of the right-hander working with the big-league staff. But less than 24 hours after Kilian’s command problems prevented him from finishing the third inning, he will be working out those kinks elsewhere.AdvertisementThe Cubs optioned Kilian to Triple-A Iowa on Tuesday and recalled right-hander Mark Leiter Jr. The reasoning behind the move is twofold: The Cubs hope Kilian can reset at Triple A and they need a fresh long reliever after taxing their two multi-inning bullpen arms because of his short start Monday.“The 13-pitcher (limit), you’re going to see some of that,” Ross said Tuesday. “Caleb has got a few things we need him to work on and come back and be a better version of himself. We’ve seen some flashes but just get him back on track a little bit.”AdvertisementIt’s too soon to say who will take Kilian’s turn in the rotation Sunday in St. Louis. With no day off until Monday, the Cubs can’t skip his spot. Right-hander Alec Mills would be an easy choice to slot in after he went 4⅓ innings and threw 74 pitches in relief of Kilian on Monday.In two starts after being recalled June 15, Kilian surrendered 12 runs (10 earned) on eight hits with 10 walks and three strikeouts in 6⅓ innings.[ [Don’t miss] Why the Cubs chose to option right-hander Adrian Sampson to Triple A after a stellar outing ]“Adversity is important in finding out what you’re made of when things don’t go your way,” Ross said. “The guy’s had a lot of success for a really long time, and he’s done nothing but be great in our organization so far. You come up here and just have a little bit of adversity and not quite yourself, let’s identify what we can do better and get back to who you’ve been when you’re having success.“I have high confidence he will be back this year pitching big innings for us and an important piece for us.”Kilian’s recent performance hasn’t resembled what the Cubs saw in his big-league debut June 4. A lack of fastball command and not throwing strikes in general was problematic the past week. He threw 61.4% of his pitches for strikes in his debut; over Kilian’s last two starts, that strike rate dipped to 51.3%.When a pitcher starts dwelling on throwing strikes or his command, he slows down or becomes very deliberate with his delivery, pitching coach Tommy Hottovy explained. Kilian’s athleticism and big frame require some rhythm to his delivery.“The minute you back off that, then the release point really starts shifting,” Hottovy said.Cubs starter Caleb Kilian pitches during the first inning against the Pirates on Monday, June 20, 2022, in Pittsburgh. (Gene J. Puskar/AP)Kilian said Monday after his start that he was given leg drills to incorporate between starts. It’s similar to what the Cubs previously worked on with right-hander Keegan Thompson.AdvertisementThe goal is for that movement to transfer into Kilian’s starts and help him stay athletic on the mound. The Cubs want the feeling to become second nature. It’s less about a mechanical cue and more about maintaining his natural rhythm.Chicago Tribune SportsWeekdaysA daily sports newsletter delivered to your inbox for your morning commute.“Guys get to experience the big leagues for the first time and get to be in the whole environment — it can be overwhelming at times, I’m not going to lie,” Hottovy told the Tribune on Tuesday. “We try our best to keep everything simple, but he’s also a very cerebral, smart, internal pitcher. And when you think about a lot of different things, it can affect the way your body moves and the tension you create.”Hottovy expects the experience and exposure to be a valuable learning tool for Kilian.“We’re not changing anything, not earth-shattering stuff, so just go back there (to Iowa), go be yourself and get in a rhythm and he’s going to be back,” Hottovy said. “If you look at guys’ careers, a lot of guys come up, make a few starts and go back down.”[ [Don’t miss] Column: Cubs are once again fair game for late-night talk show jokes — just like the 1990s ]For a pitcher who worked through the minors without notable control issues — 16 walks in 43 innings over 10 starts at Iowa this year — Kilian’s 12 walks in 11⅓ innings during his three starts with the Cubs have been impossible to ignore.Hottovy believes Kilian was trying to do too much, appearing to try to throw his pitches too good and locate them too well instead of trusting his stuff in the zone.Advertisement“Then the next thing you know, when you go need to throw a strike, you’ve been trying to be too fine, and it’s hard to kind of flip that back in your brain,” Hottovy said. “So just trying to do a little too much. That’s not uncommon for young guys when they first come up. We all did it. “But I think he knows exactly what he needs to do to be successful. I expect to see him go out and have some dominant performance in Triple A real soon.”

Sports

With the Chicago White Sox rotation finally whole, it’s time for the starters to pick up the slack

It takes a lot to satisfy a pitcher like Lance Lynn, and Monday night’s performance was not going to cut it.“I gave up five runs in five innings,” Lynn told reporters after the game, “It’s still horse(bleep), so …”AdvertisementIf you think Lynn was being too hard on himself after only two starts following 2½ months of rehab from knee surgery, perhaps Lucas Giolito can allay your concerns about the Chicago White Sox rotation.Or maybe not.Advertisement“I can only speak for myself, but I have not been doing my job,” Giolito said before Tuesday night’s game against the Toronto Blue Jays at Guaranteed Rate Field. “Luckily the guys around me in the rotation have really been doing a nice job and picking it up a level like they have.“It’s important for me to clean these things up and get back on track and help this team win ballgames.”Both pitchers know they need to be better for the Sox to return to their 2021 form, and now is as good a time as any to show it.[ [Don’t miss] Good news — and then more bad news — for White Sox: Tim Anderson off the IL, but Yoán Moncada goes on it ]These are trying times for the Sox, who’ve been waiting all season to go on an extended run. The return of Lynn means the rotation is as healthy as it has been, so no excuses allowed.Lynn, Giolito, Dylan Cease, Michael Kopech and Johnny Cueto can be as dominant as any rotation in baseball, but the longer it takes before they’re all in sync, the harder it will be for the Sox to climb out of their hole.Sox starters were a combined 17-24 entering Cease’s start Tuesday and ranked 18th in the majors with a 4.07 ERA. Last year Sox starters were a combined 61-40 and finished fourth in the majors — and tops in the American League — with a 3.57 ERA.The departure of Carlos Rodón in free agency, Lynn’s end-of-spring-training knee injury and the struggles of since-released veteran Dallas Keuchel all affected the rotation early this season. But we’ve seen all of the starters at their peak, which gives Sox fans hope the best is yet to come.It all starts with Lynn, whom Giolito called the leader of the pack.Advertisement“Having Lance back is huge,” he said. “And the way Johnny has been pitching is just fantastic. What an amazing addition for us. Dylan and Michael are doing their thing. We can continue to motivate each other every single time out.White Sox starter Lucas Giolito tosses the ball up between pitches against the Red Sox on May 25, 2022, at Guaranteed Rate Field. (Chris Sweda / Chicago Tribune)“Watching one of our guys go out and do their thing, it gives me the motivation to keep working hard and to clean up these things I need to clean up so I can do my job too.”Giolito, who starts Wednesday afternoon’s series finale against the Blue Jays, is 4-3 with a 4.78 ERA, his highest since 2018, the year before his turnaround.Right-handed batters have a 1.059 OPS against him after Giolito limited them to a .690 OPS last year. He was pitching well through the first two months, but an 8.71 ERA over his last four starts since May 31 is alarming.Giolito said Tuesday some mechanical fixes were in order with pitching coach Ethan Katz after last week’s start in Houston, where he allowed eight runs in five innings in a 13-3 loss.[ [Don’t miss] Andrew Vaughn’s 4-hit night includes 1 of 3 White Sox homers in an 8-7 win vs. the Blue Jays ]“The advantage is that Ethan and he have a great relationship, and Ethan can make a trip (to the mound) and he’s always better after a trip,” manager Tony La Russa said Tuesday. “But most of the time, if a hitter struggles or a pitcher’s not exactly where he wants to be, there’s something wrong mechanically. That’s why the coach tweaks and they get back on it. But as long as he’s healthy and he’s got the heart and he’s got the smarts …”AdvertisementLynn has had moments of dominance in his two starts but not nearly enough for someone of his talent. He has given up eight runs (six earned) on 14 hits over 9⅓ innings after three subpar outings in the minors.He wasn’t helped much Monday when a 3-2 cutter to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. in the sixth inning was called a ball in spite of being down the middle of the plate. Instead of getting the strikeout, Lynn was left with two on and no outs. He bit his glove in frustration, then allowed a two-run double to Teoscar Hernández, ending his night after five-plus innings and 99 pitches.White Sox manager Tony La Russa (22) takes out starter Lance Lynn during the sixth inning Monday, June 20, 2022, at Guaranteed Rate Field. (Armando L. Sanchez / Chicago Tribune)“You’re looking at the fifth start I’ve made since I’ve had surgery,” Lynn said. “We don’t know what the next start is going to feel like after getting close to 100 pitches. That’s just the way it works right now until I get some starts under me and know what I’m working with.”Unfortunately the Sox can’t afford to wait for Lynn to ease himself back into form. They need him to take the ball into the seventh or eighth inning and help save a bullpen under stress with closer Liam Hendriks on the injured list.The important thing is both Giolito and Lynn know they’re better than they’ve pitched so far, and they understand the Sox need them to step up to get this team where it needs to be.