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Five Ways Parents Can Support Children’s Social and Emotional Development

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Julia Levy, Executive Director, Sparkler Learning

There are many ways parents can support their children’s social and emotional learning and wellness. Recent studies have highlighted that social and emotional skills — such as sustaining effort, getting along with others, maintaining composure, keeping an open mind, and social connection — were shown to have a consistent and positive association with students’ academic and career success.

  1. Know your child’s social and emotional needs.

As a parent, you know your child better than anybody else on the planet. This knowledge of your child gives you a unique power to inspire and support them. Ask yourself a few questions: “How have recent events, including the pandemic, affected my child and family?” “What are some positive effects?” “What are some negative effects?” If your children are old enough, ask them these questions and really listen to what you hear.

A social and emotional learning initiative called Big Heart World is a good resource. It includes the podcast Little Kids, Big Hearts, which can help parents and educators introduce big topics in social and emotional learning to their children. The podcast, which is hosted by Todd Loyd, an early childhood educator, and social-emotional learning coordinator, explores what it means to have a big heart and how to grow one with episodes focused on identity, friendship, and standing up for others.

In the newest episode, “Imagination Time,” three kids, Shaelan, Sameia, and Hunter, join Todd to help the Mayor of the Qook-a-lackas to design a new playground for the Qook-a-leekies.

  1. Once you know, you can grow!

Once you’ve thought through your children’s social strengths and needs, it’s time to get on their level, figuratively and literally! Through Big Heart World, we worked with the Housman Institute to develop a 10-question quiz that identifies children’s social and emotional learning needs and then creates a custom digital packet of playful activities you can do together to address those needs.

In my family, we are big fans of the “friendship cookie”— making a giant cookie to share with friends. This helps us to practice social skills and math while sneaking chocolate chips! We love it because it works for us. What works for you? Use the quiz to get your personalized activity suggestions.

  1. Parents can remember the basics.

Today, I often wonder if the disruptions of recent years will interfere with children’s long-term ability to practice preschool basics. I think a lot about the key skills that are enforced and reinforced during the preschool years:

  • Identity(Who am I? How do I fit into my family, community, and world?)
  • Feelings(What am I feeling? Is that okay?)
  • Self-regulation(How do I pause and manage my big feelings?)
  • Problem-solving(How do I work with others to share or work out differences?)

Kids don’t necessarily pick up basic social and emotional skills on their own. They learn them over time, through practice, and through interactions with others. Take time to get back to basics. Practice breathing and calm-down exercises. Work on sharing. Talk about identity and belonging. If you’re looking for beautiful, culturally diverse picture books to help reinforce basic social and emotional skills, explore First Book and School Library Journal’s booklists.

  1. Take time to listen.

A lot of families had A LOT of extra “screen time” in the last couple of years. Don’t feel bad about this—you’re doing great! If you want to think of ways to diversify your children’s media diet, now is a great time to remember that using our ears is a great way to learn.

As part of Big Heart World, we’ve produced an album of songs called the Big Heart Beats album. Have a listen. (And don’t be surprised if the songs get stuck in your head or cause an impromptu kitchen dance party.) Our Little Kids, Big Hearts podcast also aims to help parents and educators introduce big topics in social and emotional learning to their children. Listen together at bedtime or in the car to help start a meaningful family conversation. My four-year-old and I re-listened to the “upstanding” episode recently and had a good chat about ways he could stand up for his friends.

  1. Parents can find safe ways to get together.

Mother and psychologist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Dr. Kavita Tahilani shared some handy tips to encourage play and peer interactions.

Most importantly, we must remember to be flexible and forgiving to our children and to ourselves. This has been a multi-year disruption to our lives. Parents can support their children. But it will take time and focus, new resources, and new approaches to address the impact moving forward.

Julia Levy is the executive director of Sparkler Learning, the nonprofit family engagement organization producing Big Heart World with Noggin and the National Head Start Association.

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