Lifestyle

“I think that’s a smart way to explain it,” she said. “That way you can see how you’re feeling, get more comfortable with the people that you’re close to, that you haven’t been seeing in a while, then go out from there in circles. If you’re unable to join in regular activities because you’re just too scared, too nervous, too anxious about joining in, and can’t get out of the house, you should probably talk to somebody and get some help. You don’t want to avoid your life because of your anxiety.”

That is the most reasonable – and truthful explanation. If her niece, nephew, and sister-in-law are upset with her, she should understand too that she is the only person left for them to be upset with, but that eventually they should come to understand her unique position regarding this very challenging family secret.

Nash Ismael, 20, puts his arms around his sisters Nadeen, 18, left, and Nancy, 13, as they visit the gravesite of their parents on Father’s Day at White Chapel Memorial Park Cemetery on June 21, 2020, in Troy, Michigan. The Ismael children lost both their parents within weeks to COVID-19. (Salwan Georges/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Four of the top 10 most-banned books of 2020 were targeted because of antiracist themes, according to the American Library Association. “Stamped” co-author Ibram X. Kendi, said via a written statement, “The fact that ‘Stamped’ is being challenged proves just how necessary and effective it is for young people.” (HANDOUT)

Four of the top 10 most-banned books of 2020 were targeted because of antiracist themes, according to the American Library Association. “Stamped” co-author Ibram X. Kendi, said via a written statement, “The fact that ‘Stamped’ is being challenged proves just how necessary and effective it is for young people.” (HANDOUT)

Troy Gaston joins a video call for the first day of his online Intro to Social Justice class next to his dog, Designer, at his brother’s home in Chicago’s Englewood neighborhood on Jan. 20, 2021. Gaston, a senior at Roosevelt University, said he sees education as his path to a better life and to becoming part of the solution for injustice. (Youngrae Kim / Chicago Tribune)

Dear On the Fence: A judicious answer is called for. We do not live in judicious times, however, so let me try to provide a possible script: “I assume it’s obvious that I don’t agree with ‘Sean’ on some pretty basic matters. Most important to me, however, is how he treats you. In my opinion, he doesn’t always give you the respect I know you deserve, and I sometimes find that upsetting. The most important thing for you to know, however, is that I’ve got your back, no matter what.”

“Mass shootings are mass shootings when they involve white people,” Shaka Rawls, principal of Leo Catholic High School in Chicago’s Auburn Gresham neighborhood, told me. “When they’re Black people, it’s just something that happened over there. When it’s violence perpetrated by and on Black people, the mainstream media can easily turn its back and say, ‘This is what happens in those communities.’ But the impact is huge on those communities.”

“It used to be assumed, if you got a job, you would be going somewhere, getting together with people, and they would become your social group,” Cassiday said. “Well, what happens if you get a job and it doesn’t matter where you live? How do you socialize when you leave campus?”

In general, scientists have found that ecosystems that include more kinds of living things — that is, with more biodiversity — are more resilient. A diverse ecosystem is better able to bounce back from short-term blows such as droughts, fires and blizzards, and it’s also more likely to adapt to big changes in the climate. The same is true for our gardens, parkways and parks.